Monday Morning News

Good News : )

2011-09-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I have good news to share! This Wednesday I start a new job at an organization in KC called The Whole Person (there's a website if you'd like to learn more). My official title is Mental Health Advocate and I will be working with people with both physical and mental disabilities providing professional counseling and as necessary advocacy and peer support. I will also be earning licensing hours toward my LPC (licensed professional counselor).

So, in my first item of official Monday Morning News advocacy business...I've decided to knock on the Girl Scout organizations door to redefine a section in the GS Handbook. As you may know from last week, I did some zip-lining. My party was lead by a very zealous Scout Leader and attended by several young girls in Hello Kitty outfits...

After my ride, it occurred to me that not all the RULES apply to every participant seeking the distinction of a merit badge or medal. With reasonable changes and thinking, every hard working girl should be able to become what she wants to achieve! In short, there needs to be a little tinkering with the proficiency test for Girl Scout ATHLETE.

I've taken the requirements from the "Scouting for Girls, Official Handbook of the Girl Scouts" (est. 1920) and below added my advocacy thoughts, recommended changes and suggestions.

(Please note...this is early stage research. My reference is from the 1920's and responses a warm-up exercise. It's too early to get fired! : )

ATHLETE

To qualify for this a Girl Scout must be at least fourteen and must hold the badge for personal health, the “Health Winner.”

1. State briefly the value and effect of exercise.

Exercise is good for your body so you don’t get flabby.

2. Demonstrate habitual good posture sitting and standing.

Be able to tell an instructor your wheelchair seat width and position for optimal posture and positioning in an adapted water ski.

3. Demonstrate (a) marching steps, quick and double time, and Scout’s Pace. (b) Setting up exercises (as shown in Handbook).

Do a couple deep knee bends put on some marching band music then using your peppiest pace march up a standard workman’s ladder until you can touch the top. The object here is to step from rung to rung lifting the leg with high knee NOT cheating and using a hand or an arm to pull, pick-up and assist.

4. Present statement from troop Captain of a hike of at least 5 miles.

Walk a mile then find a nice Girl Scout Captain who lies.

5. Demonstrate with basketball 5 goals out of 7 trials standing at least 5 feet from basket OR demonstrate with basketball distance throw of 40 feet.

Here’s my suggestion for this one…
http://vimeo.com/25667380

It’s okay to use an altered goal. Distance and height can be determined by how far you can throw a standard basketball both horizontally and vertically while seated.

6. Demonstrate with indoor baseball accurate pitching for distance of forty feet.

This also can be done while seated or standing. Distance adjusted to 1/2 the length of the average of 3 trials of longest throw.

7. Write brief description of rules for five popular games.

**Please do not use cricket or Australian Rules Futbol…the only rules...there are no rules???

8. Play well and be able to coach in any three of the following games: Basketball, Battleball, Bowling, Captain Ball, Dodge Ball, Long Ball, Punch Ball, Indoor Baseball, Hockey—field or ice, Prisoners’ Base, Soccer, Tennis, Golf, Volleyball Newcomb.

Provide a middle school transcript that shows a satisfactory grade in gym class.

9. Hold swimming badge or bring statement of ability to demonstrate three strokes, swim 100 yards, float and dive. For alternate to swimming requirement see First Class Test, question 7. (...in Handbook)

question 7. Be able to swim fifty yards, or in case of inaccessibility to water, be able to shin up ten feet of rope, or in case of physical disability, earn any merit badge selected that involves out-of-door activity.

The GS of the 1920's actually had this one covered : ) Thumbs up!

10. Demonstrate three folk dances using any nationality OR be a qualified member of a school or society athletic team, playing one summer or one winter sport, OR be able to qualify for entry in a regular competition in some sport such as Tennis, Skating, Skiing, Running, Pitching Quoits, etc.

Enter as a participant or coach in at least one adapted sport tournament or event in your area OR send in a video of yourself learning to dance : )

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a zip-line adventure report

2011-08-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I went zip-lining at Camp Prairie Schooner this weekend!

I can't quite decide where this falls on the "Adventure Scale." After the completion of my run, as I hiked to the head of the treacherous trail and made my way into the clearing I overheard the conversation between some young Girl Scouts.

My guide a 7th grader with two years zipping experience walked ahead. An earnest and impassioned leader she still wore her white safety helmet and zipping harness. In addition to my trail sherpa, she had self-assigned two additional duties--leading the littlest girls on a hike to the restroom and greeting all new adult arrivals in the gravel parking lot.

It was dark and I was tired but I distinctly heard the car pull up and an adult voice say "Did Amanda do the zip-line?"

...to which my guide replied, "uh-huh. she went once and Merriam (the 5 year-old birthday girl) went twice!!!"

at this point the conversation went to pot as a 6 year-old wearing flashing flip flops told everyone that my ride had been a "ladder ride."

A "ladder ride" is a scaled down version of the adult ride for those not quite ready for X-treme thrills and excitement!!! It is also an alternative for those unable to climb up a free hanging rope ladder to the tree-top launch platform.

I, with accomplished Adventure resume (...see death defying water ski crashing and fearless open water kayaking) could not climb the dang rope ladder up to the platform...before dark...or losing bored and wandering children in the woods.

Instead, I clipped in at the bottom of the zip-line run after climbing a few rungs on a sturdy workman's ladder.

Here is now where the official rules and definition of zip-lining must come out.

"A zip-line consists of a pulley suspended on a cable mounted on an incline. It is designed to enable a user propelled by gravity to travel from top to bottom of the incline cable."

Please note there is nothing in here stating a zip-liner must start at the TOP of the line. My "ladder ride" Miss sparkle flip flops was technically what happened next.

A very nice sinewy young course instructor attached a long thin "retrieval rope" to my harness and walked me like a tug-a-war captain toward the launch platform.

"Okay" he said, "say stop when you feel high enough!"

I am at Camp Prairie Schooner… I thought. This babies going to the T-O-P!!!!!

Unfortunately, the nice young man's legs gave way about 5ft. from the highest point. Thus, I dangled in the air for a moment like a Muppet and then Ziiiiip the ride began...

I went fast enough to elicit a full SMILE but not quite fast enough for a whoop! or hoooot!!!

The ride ended uneventfully as I stopped several feet from the approaching tree and slowly bobbed toward the rescue ladder.

Would I zip-line again? Most definitely. I am even hoping to work my way toward my Athlete merit badge as a GS Cadette!!!

So far it's looking doubtful. You must march double time and maintain good posture sitting and standing...

Happy Monday everyone, and Adventure on!

Amanda

p.s. would anyone be interested in buying some cookies? : ) I got Thin Mints...Samoas...

Paddlin'

2011-08-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I had the good fortune of taking my maiden voyage in a kayak this weekend on Lone Star Lake. Regardless of ability, I think this is an activity anyone can enjoy. So, I'd like to encourage ALL to try...

5 Reasons to Try Paddling

1. You can adopt an ease to the language not typical of the urban Midwest.

In the West people get stoked...
ya’ll, honeys in the South
you sit and tawk in New Yawk
go "out and aboot" up North

now Midwesterners have somethin’ to do too. Go paddlin! : )

2. With cell phones, we are tuned into each other greater than ever before, physically though it has come at a cost as we so often miss the opportunity to interact with those around us. By choosing to go out in a kayak for a couple hours you are choosing to support friendly face-to-face communication with strangers.

3. People with houses on the lake may come out to great you and on some mornings have even opened up a window and turned up the stereo for all to enjoy (feels very different than when your apartment neighbor decides to do this).

4. If you travel in a pack and someone brings enough snacks, you are basically a party that floats! And...if you like to talk, you have a captive audience! Remember though that the corollary is also true. You are a captive audience! This might not be the best time to share your stories of Sacagawea and goals for Eskimo rolls...

5. The Polynesian navigational system...

In double-hauled canoes, "Papa Mau" and his crew made their way from Hawaii to Tahiti, reading only subtle changes in wind direction, waves, the flight of birds, the course of dolphins, the color of the water...

In no time whatsoever a new kayaker can determine that this unfortunate situation means log jam. : )

Happy Monday,

Amanda

zip-line adventure on!

2011-08-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Strap on your helmets! It's time for another "Alo" Adventure! In about two weeks, I will be zip-lining!!! Given the opportunity to dangle from a wire and hurl down an incline at break-neck speed, I thought oh yes, this is me!...

Actually, the truth of the matter is, is that I was invited by a young Girl Scout with a birthday and a very impassioned troop leader with ropes course training. This I found is much harder to say no to than a box of cookies (Thin Mints or otherwise...).

I've attached a link to a video clip of what I think I will be doing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvOh0qLDTQs&feature=related

And here is the reasoning I will be using to show up for the celebration.

A zip-line repel with a bunch of Girl Scouts...chances are good that someone’s going to be able to get me down if I get stuck.

Should I get stuck, someone’s going to be earning a merit badge.

If I enjoy it, I will have something, albeit a lightly used something to expand my social circle...

Would you like to join our zip-line league? Every Thursday we go and see who has the fastest combined time!

I was always told "kids...DO NOT hang on the clothes line!" So, I have now basically decided to dangle from one clipped in at the navel. I AM rebellious!

I will get to wear a harness and a helmet. The sure sign of the cool adventurer. : )

And last...I'm going to be on step closer to achieving my life-long goal of being a super hero! I've learned the zip-line has been used in some instances for delivering food, cigarettes or tools to people working on the other side of an obstacle such as a gully or river...Excellent!

Happy Monday everyone,

Amanda

out on vacation...

2011-08-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I had a "come to Jesus" moment this weekend. Sunday when I went to church I realized even pastors take vacations. Pastor Holly was away and instead the teen youth group ran the service.

A startling noise kept making its way from the strings section of the youth choir's accompaniment (I think it was a violin), the words "like, you know" completed the take home message from the sermon and the hostess of communion welcomed all to come forward and try a taster platter of different sampler breads.

So...Monday Morning News will be out of the office this week. Should you need to reach me please call my assistant...

Happy Monday,

Amanda

an adventure of the mind...

2011-07-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Last week I realized while I've been building up my physical adventure muscle, my mind has been getting flabby. I have it relatively easy here over-indulging in Audio Dharma talks with nothing to challenge my own understanding but the occasional poke in the nose from Miss Mitty (the poopy-pawed anti-meditator) kitty. : )

So, WWBTGD? (What Would Buddha Teacher Gil Do?)

I went on-line and found a Vipassana meditation and discussion group that meets once a week. I'd like to share a new adventure...the search for Sangha!!!, which basically means Buddhist community.

As you might imagine, Kansas is noooo Red Woods City, CA (home of Buddha teacher Gil). Instead of practicing within one's own building (such as the Insight Meditation Center), this Vipassana meditation is held in a room in a friendly church (see photo above).

It was a typical Buddhist meeting. 30 min. meditation, then 1hr. for a reading and peer-lead discussion.

My hopes of microphone audiences and floor with knee to knee zafus quickly vanished as soon as I entered the room.

Two middle-aged couples, "the regulars" sat quietly in hard backed chairs and said hello. A small but dedicated group I learned they've been meeting for 15 years. "Sometimes the group is larger" the woman said, “there are two others that come.”

That makes six. And plenty of available seating.

Instruction I received included to watch the breath wherever it enters the body. As soon as the mind wanders (which will be frequent and often) keep coming back to the breath. “Let thoughts come and go like passing train cars,” she said “notice them but don’t hop on…”

A bearded man with very flexible ankles sitting in full lotus nodded in agreement. He shifted and adjusted his zafu cushion striking a pose that suggested a bad back and closed his eyes.

I chose a seat hoping to help balance out the room (the moment seemed very Feng shui) and closed my eyes too.

Here’s my first thought…

I don’t understand exactly why people do this…I can achieve pain and deeper levels of concentration while running and it at least seems productive…

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!! Gary assigned "the bell of mindfulness" struck it three times…I dropped the thought and settled into the breath.

Wow that clock is loud. I wonder why they have a tick tock clock in a meditation room.

What the heck am I going to say about “my meditation” after the bell rings?...

Man I shouldn’t have eaten that bean dip.

What was the deal with those machine sculptures at the museum anyway?

How long was that? Are we done yet?

After 30 minutes I’d achieved a different kind of success. I made it 30 minutes on the cushion without falling asleep, checking my watch or leaving the room to use the restroom.

When I opened my eyes it became clear to me that I had also come seeking a greater purpose.

I chose this group for its goal: How to take the practice off the cushion and implement it in daily life. In other words, as Melanie the night’s appointed leader described it--How can we experience what we know of deep peace while in the messiness of living?

I love life. I love its complexities. I loved this question.

Unfortunately, the problem I learned in my Sangha discussion group is that there’s no pause button. No paper and pencil handy to jot down a thought to come back to…

I sat and listened as Melanie, a seemingly nice, intelligent middle-aged woman recounted her latest visit up to Minnesota to see her mother in a nursing home. Visibly reflective, she struggled through what to do about the latest problem...

“What can I say to a 300lbs. woman with Alzheimer’s who panics when she's in the Hoyer lift?”

This is an assistive device that allows patients in hospitals and nursing homes to be transferred between a bed and a chair using hydraulic power.

"What images can I give her?"

She looked directly into my eyes and our hearts connected. After a quick in breath I raised my eyebrows until my forehead puckered, put my hand a top my head and nervously pushed my ball cap down a little lower. “Oh, wow” I wanted something wise to say. Somehow it became lost in a minor detail given at the beginning of her mother’s story… “we went down to the dining hall with her…the only thing the ONLY thing she will eat now is bacon.”

Wise speech. I wanted so badly to practice wise speech but it had left me. What images might she use with a 300lbs. woman with dementia who only responds to bacon… to help diffuse the situation...that is kind?

When one sits with a Sangha you can’t help but ask what’s my role? What can I contribute to this group? I racked my counselor brain and the only suggestion I could come up with...

Use the flight of fancy to your advantage. Seize this brief window of opportunity to connect with the crazy.

Here are a few images she could work with...

Mom you are at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day and you are leading the parade help us land this thing!

Look mom the umpa lumpa's are here (nurse assistants) and they’re gonna help us get back home. Your job is to click your heals 3 times! Our job it to sit back and do what you say!

Her mother still thinks we are fighting WWII. Frame it as a military surveillance mission!...

General MacArthur just called…once we get you up there he wants to hear your thoughts on what you can see. You’re helping us win this war!

And, this one I’m saving for my mom (who will never tip the scale quite that heavy...)

Mom when the sling starts to feel snug around you pretend you’re a pretty mermaid. You’re going to be free in a moment floating back out to sea.

WWBTGD? As many of you know, when I find myself stuck in a tough spot I like to ask the question...What Would Buddha Teacher Gil Do? I smiled a gentle "wow that's tough" and let the moment go.

What did I learn from my first Vipassana meditation and discussion group adventure? In short, Buddhism isn't a religion of faith it’s an invitation to try it out for yourself and I did! Meditation can produce surprising results...when practiced among Sangha and provides the tools to develop the mind muscle. I'm going back in there tomorrow to adventure on!

Weed it out Wednesday,

Amanda

p.s. sorry Monday Morning News took a long weekend : )

A Water Ski Adventure!

2011-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Being a SUPER fan has it's pitfalls...I'm still a little bit in the dumper from the loss yesterday. I have expressed my thanks and gratitude elsewhere but can not repeat myself enough...

THANK YOU TEAM USA for taking us on the incredible journey! I have always been and will remain a fan for life!

What watching this tournament has done for me has been that it also reminded me of a truth I'd forgotten. I will ALWAYS be an athlete for life. As my own kind of "highlight" real, I wanted to share some of the best moments from A Day at the Lake, 2011, an event I went to last Friday put on by the Rehabilitation Institute of Kansas City.

BUT before I share my slide show...

I wanted to take a moment to answer a few questions I've received:

Q: Have you ever water skied before?

A: No, I've done adapted snow skiing a few times which was AMAZING in terms of freedom and challenge. I tried water skiing once prior to my injury (at age 12?).

Q: Is it hard to get up in the adapted ski?

(No...not with proper adjustments. : )

A: On my first attempt I went a total of zero feet. When the handle and rope ripped from my grasp, the only thing that popped up and out was my body. There is a built in hold for this problem. Those who lack enough grip strength have the rope secured in between two pieces of hard rubber on the front of the ski. Rope (not arms) can then be popped out once the skier is up. On my runs, I chose to leave the rope in the hold and used weight shifts to steer.

Q: Is it hard to balance?

A: Balance on an adapted ski is easy to maintain once the ski is up and tracking behind the boat. Once you start to execute cuts and turns or wish to go outside the wake balance is probably like any other ski experience. It takes practice.

Q: What's it like up there?

A: The ride inside the wake is for the most part smooth but due to the wide flat surface area of the ski in rougher waters it can get a bit choppy. If you have sensation, you will know when you have pee in your bladder.

Q: The rainbow rope?

A: Like all water skiing a lot depends on the driver. Mine was Darrell. A seasoned boatsman with well-tanned skin and remarkably bushy white eye brows. What I liked most about this guy’s guy was his steadiness on the throttle and his PRIDE. As only good fortune can have it, sometimes ignorance sends a beautiful message. Not only did Darrell represent for all men wearing wrap-around, visor glasses but he also unknowingly used a rainbow colored tow rope (a universal symbol of gay PRIDE). There were two boats taking people out that day and I just happened to get lucky being assigned to such an encouraging and supportive craft!

Q: Even despite your magnificent wipe outs would you do this again?

A: Honestly, right now I don't know. I feel old.

There are 5 hand signals you need to know. Thumbs up, faster, thumbs down, slower, slash neck immediate cut it, pat top of the head I’m done, and whirly bird, let’s go around again. I used none of these as my wipe outs were significant and severe enough to communicate their need.

As photos will reveal, and as many of you know, I have been watching quite a bit of World Cup soccer lately. Like Abby "the time is now" Wambach I decided I’m going for it! The rope tightened and I cut hard left skipping outside the wake. As I made my outside run, I looked up timing my perfect cross. I hit the edge of the wake on the left. "Oh. yeah!," I smiled, I cut across to the right, then threw my body like Abby...leaning, reaching fearlessly for the header. Then WHAMMO!!!

I have no memory but what at least five people have reported this is what happened next...

Behind the spray and splash of white water I disappeared. I and the ski went underwater completely sideways. Darrell cut the engine but I was NOT done! With my cat quick Hope Solo instincts, I read the situation (@#$!^&) and REACTED!...and popped up! Unfortunately, by this time there was too much slack in my rainbow rope so I crashed.

I had water completely up at least five orifices…The rescue crew dove from the jet skis and swam to my side.

So...again, I don't know. It's going to depend on how much more water I think I can hold in my nose.

Okay, : ). Here's the show. Adventure on!...

Happy Monday,

Amanda

let's go to the instant replay!

2011-06-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I have a very small matter of greeeeat importance this morning! As I was cleaning up my files this morning I came across this...

"Get in the Zone" from the College Basketball Experience...

Think of it this way. I have very bad balance. Every time I go to reload my shot in a rapid fire competition it feels a bit like standing on a water bed. Ol Pistol Pete to my right was a machine!!! Cranking out shots so fast there was a trail of smoke!

I lost this "friendly" competition...25 to 37!!!

My shaky right leg will not go out the loser! Dad may have begged off “arthritis in both hands” but he was soon to be seen disappearing, running off to shoot more free throws! ...and i want a REMATCH!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. "Look at the scoreboard!" (stomp stomp!) I'm comin' for ya Dad!!! : )

Little Kid T-Ball

2011-06-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Yesterday as I sat in church I learned according to relationship scholars the primary factor in the make up of "a good father" is that he sticks around...

I think this is setting the bar awful low. For the most part, I think most dads want to get it right. They not only want to be there for their kids but to coach the T-ball team too!

I'm always here to help out. : )

I thought I'd put together a little primer for new dads based on a little T-ball game watching I did this weekend...

"Little Kid T-Ball Rules of the Game"

There must be one participant facing the complete opposite direction to the field of play at all times.

The relay throw to the infielder...is a throw in the general direction of home plate. It's a live ball HELD to watch all runners run around the bases.

At least 17 players out on the field at all times playing defense.

Tag outs are the rule. No throwing to the baseman.

Throwing the ball AT the runner to get them out...is discouraged.

As is a base runner being lapped.

...and clover picking. (cartwheels and nose picking were not observed but also possible cause for game stoppage)

Action in the batter’s box constitutes not only the batter's stance but also the coach placing the ball. (It's delicate timing up there new dad's so watch out. Swings go off sporadically!)

A "hit" means toward the infield. A batter after multiple swings may also smack the tee and run as you watch the ball roll backwards...or on foul balls that hit 2ft. in the dirt and roll directly sideways.

Everybody bats and everybody runs.

First person to first base gets to be the first baseman. This also applies to second base, third base...and so on...

The shortstop may stomp like a jack rabbit to release energy or to shake off a tick bite (always have First Aid kit and matches handy).

Okay, and lastly for your true Dad moment...

At the end of the game, this is what it’s all about. Line the kids up. Cross the field in a display of sportsmanship and shake hands.

Remember they ARE playing a sport. They have gloves. They have uniforms with numbers and hats. Have fun!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a goose with a people problem

2011-06-13T09:12:00.001-07:00

Good Morning,

As I made my way into the mail hut last week, a notice posted on the mail room door caught my attention. In large bold letters--GOOSE UPDATE!!!

In sum, it read...

Dear Residents,

In April, a goose took up residence and laid a clutch of eggs in one of the plant beds surrounding the pool. One month later. No geeselings. The Kansas Department of Wildlife ascertained the goose was sitting on a nest of inviable eggs. The goose continued sitting upon the eggs. This week the Kansas Wildlife came and took the goose to another location where she is now able to meet other goose friends!!!!

As the door slammed behind me, the take home message sank in. We now have a "Goose Policy?" (what the frick?)

Given my recent success in letter writing and new found provisional licensure status I'm lobbying to see if I can get an inclusion in this new "Goose Policy." As per this date, new policy for Deer Creek management and staff would require contacting the on-site "Goose Grief Consultant." In this new role, I have been in contact with the geese and other animals on the property and helped them craft a letter.

June 13, 2011

Attn: Deer Creek Management

We the geese flock are writing with regards to the handling of an important matter to the Deer Creek animal community. Ginny Goose our beloved sister, mother, and friend was relocated from her home for non-aggressive behavior unbefitting of a goose. We feel resident behavior contributed equally in this matter. The staffs constant checking as well as the pointing, monitoring and loud screaming of children would not allow us to send in on-site assistance to Ms. Goose in the form of natural supports. As the care in your "Goose Update" has shown, we know you can appreciate Ms. Goose's "odd" behavior as an issue of complicated grief. For as much as we have not pooped on the front lawn or any of the walkways leading up to the pool, we would have asked that you respect us in aiding Ginny in her process. It deeply saddens us to lose one of our own, and to be treated so poorly on a land we share. Please, please, please bring Ginny back.

As a matter of public record we are releasing this letter to Facebook and the Monday Morning News Blog. We've also formed a peaceful coalition with a band of foxes, raccoons, snapping turtles, and Deer Creek cats and dogs residents to develop a "People Policy" and will cc you on our recommendations. We ask that you post and distribute to all Deer Creek Residents.

Sincerely,

The Geese
Ruffy Rottweiler, Stanley & Myrtle Turtle, Buster, Mr. Coon, and Mittens Vallo

Okay, in my usual off-beat kind of way here's what I'm trying to say...

I don't think the goose is the problem. We just aren’t comfortable with allowing nature to "be." As a resident of EARTH, I would have preferred we leave Ms. Goose alone. How about we raise more mindful kids and stop treating her like an exhibit in the zoo? Before writing more "Goose Policy" let's turn the binoculars around and see maybe it's a goose with a people problem!

One Earth One Chance! (I just read that off the recycle bin out my window...)

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a little disability vigilante justice

2011-06-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Joe Montana, Bill Cosby, and Gen. Colin Powell...what do these people have in common?

All of these folks spoke at the GET MOTIVATED! seminar I went to last week at the Sprint Center (downtown KC).

Howard Putnam? anybody...anybody? a former CEO of Southwest Airlines was also there.

To recap, as some of you may know, I had an incident on a Southwest Airlines flight. I requested assistance with my wheelchair so I could make a tight connection. The flight attendant ignored my request in favor of learning more about my neighbor's Kindle (electronic book). I missed my flight. I and a few friends (...and my mother) wrote Southwest letting them know of our disappointment with the poor service I'd received. Over a month had passed still no word...

So, an eye for an eye? Time for a little disability vigilante justice!!!...

As I perused my GET MOTIVATED workbook, I came across his (Mr. Putnam’s) name in the list of speakers I thought, since I had my daily business so interrupted with neglect and rudeness how would he like it if I came into his world and interrupted him?

In a stadium filled with 20,000 people, the lights went down and the spot light came on. Howard took the stage and shook a jubilant fist "Details, we did it by never losing sight of the details!" I doodled in my workbook...

a lone voice way off in the nose bleed seats (with companion seating available) cries out

"Hey Howard!" flight #24 I'd come say hello but I still need my wheelchair!"

or or

a lone wheeler moves from gate to gate

Hey Howard you can locate me at gate 127!!! (subject to change)...oops wait a minute now I'm at gate 126...

okay i'd probably just keep it simple.

booooo KIIIINDLE!!!!

This morning I have much happier news to report. I've heard back from SWA headquarters! In sum, there's a deep apology and a promised voucher toward another flight. I've posted the reply to read it in its entirety.

http://www.facebook.com/notes/amanda-vallo/southwest-airlines-response-to-my-inquiry/10150216436424879

I am very appreciative of the actions they’ve taken.

Six weeks earlier through a simple human interaction I felt reduced to the size of an airline peanut. Today with this response...I’m encouraged and grateful to those joining me in the fight. Don’t be afraid to get on your horse for a little disability vigilante justice!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. The seminar itself is a whole 'nother story. I wouldn't recommend it. Not even if it's free. It's like a quasi Republican convention with special guests (aka nauseating sales gurus).

disaster preparedness from the bathtub

2011-05-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I was sitting in the bathtub with way too much time to think. From the other room came growing confusion in the weatherman's excitable voice...

"I've never seen it like this before...they're popping up more quickly than we can track them!...there's another one!"

I could hear my neighbor's new baby crying through the wall. "Great" I thought, after mobile homes and nursing homes I'm pretty sure tornadoes take aim at disabled people and young mothers in apartment communities.

I determined that I would not help them write this story..."and in this apartment complex they found three dead...a young mother holding her infant and what appeared to be a young disabled woman who threw her body over her cat...the cat survived..."

Sooo, I consulted my handy resource "The Prepared Lifestyle" from the University of Kansas and Kansas Department of Health and made my own checklist.

I've come up with my own disaster preparedness checklist highlighting some of the items they forgot.

Helmet- with 200+ mph winds, there is going to be flying and falling debris. Should I be lucky enough to be trapped somewhere, I’d at least like the opportunity to think my way out of it.

CamelBak- filled with water and a fuel belt filled with Ensure Plus for longer durations...

BITE DOWN. PUSH ON. http://www.camelbak.com/

Kitty harness- in trial runs with the kitty harness, Mitty simply lays down and flops on her side or does the military crawl. Regardless of noisy rescue efforts (helicopters, bulldozers, jack hammers), this should keep her close…

Flash drive- I found that despite my dedicated listening to dharma talks and meditation practice...I am very attached to ideas. I don’t mind my computer being blown to bits but did have the impulse to go grab my flash drive. Just in case any of my writings contain that one kernel of a thought that could bring world peace. I’d like to save that...

Saw & tourniquet- finally FINALLY I’d have good reason to cut my left foot off. I'm really hoping it is the body part that gets stuck.

A clean pair of underwear. (hey, see above photo).

And lastly, should I perish...a tattoo that says "Lola" or something racy so that my family might get a smile when they have to ID me...hint my stripper name is "Chesty Leathertush." : )

I guess the truth is no matter how prepared, we never know when disaster will strike. There is no checklist to ultimately keep us safe. As I've listened to some of the amateur video from the Joplin, MO tornado, it struck me how the young man taking the video, fear in his voice, kept asking amidst the confusion...

"Are you okay? Are you okay?"

His concerns not for saving himself or his Youtube footage but rather conveyed in this message

"I'm trying to keep my weight off of you." In times of GREAT stress sometimes what emerges is the full beauty and potential of the human heart to care for the stranger piled below.

(Thankfully, she responded, "yes, i'm okay.")

I spent a lot of time sitting in a bathtub last week contemplating suffering. Here's what I've concluded. To not be changed or moved by a disaster is doing a disservice to yourself. Let your heart break and some of the teachings of the dharma (e.g. love and compassion) can fall in…

In ADDITION to my checklist, as my response, I'm taking a little more care in noticing when I say “It doesn’t matter…”

for example,

You throw a pop can in the trash not the recycle bin…
You try to slip a few 2's and 7's in the 1's only recycle dumpster
You park in the disability space...when you could walk
You miss calling a friend to give them a birthday wish...

We can be better stewards of the land and better caretakers for each other. I hope you let your good heart (plus action!) be your response to devastation and suffering.

Mindful Memorial Monday,

Amanda

cognitive dissonance from the study bunker...

2011-05-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I've been holed up in the study bunker waiting for the storms to end but I thought I'd emerge long enough to share something with you...

The word of the day is "cognitive dissonance." (okay that's two words). Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two conflicting ideas simultaneously.

Cognitive dissonance has been running amok lately...

"Arnold Scwharzenegger fathers an illegitimate child!...Lance Armstrong accused of doping!...The end of the world Saturday May 21st...oops just let me revise the math"

but the place I am finding it most interesting is in the aftermath of a news story that's staying pretty close to the Mike and Mike (ESPN radio) bobble headed sports desk. Last week, Phoenix Suns President Rick Welts came out as gay.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/16/sports/basketball/nba-executive-says-he-is-gay.html

Reaction of course has included such luminaries as Charles Barkley, hockey analyst (and mullet hairdo supporter) Barry Melrose, and Herm Edwards, a man who has given us such deep quotes as "We play to win the game!"

Some media types are predicting the end of the world. The question that remains:

Rick Welts is a NBA executive. What will happen when a teammate comes out to one of his brothers in the locker room?

I was able to go inside the heads of NBA basketball players with my personal-people-reader meter this weekend and this is what I found...

Cognitive Dissonance!!!!

Taken from an unnamed source here are the conflicting thoughts I was able to record...

Don't look at me fagot...

I don’t want it in my locker room.

Shoot, Darnell’s a real cool dude!

I'm not predicting the end of the world but rather a struggle perhaps and wrestling with uncomfortable feelings. My thought is that the NBA player who comes out to his teammates will experience acceptance to the degree his teammates resolve their conflict at Darnell's a cool dude. Here is what you will see...

After the gay player comes out, I predict many many many...many baaaaad interviews within and around the NBA community.

There are 3 ways we generally try to get rid of cognitive dissonance once it is present. I've stated each one and offer what it will sound like on SportsCenter...

1. Decrease the importance of dissonant beliefs.

ESPN Analyst: "So, Charles now that Darnell Dudes is out how do you feel about it?"

Charles: “It don’t matter, all I want is a teammate that knows how to win.”

2. Add more consonant beliefs that outweigh the dissonant beliefs.

Players against the openly gay teammate will turn to the Bible and other players, family, or media types also speaking out against the gay teammate. They will restate their concerns. “Guys aren’t comfortable with it.” “It's just my personal belief that it’s wrong.” (From these guys you should also then hear a lot less about "being there for my teammates").

3. Change the dissonant beliefs so they are no longer inconsistent.

Don't look at me fagot...

I don’t want it in my locker room.

I put us winning before my own stats

Darnell's a real good player.

Hey, Darnell's gay, a good player, and a cool dude. It’s okay to be there for my teammates...

ESPN radio announcer: "How has this affected you in the locker room?"

Darnell Dudes' teammate: "Yes, I’d like to have a gay teammate. All things being equal I PREFER having gay teammates!!!"

okay, maybe it won't ever go that far but it's okay to dream it : ).

Back to the study bunker!,

Happy Tuesday,

Amanda

p.s. my personal-people-reader meter is something handed out to ALL undergrad psych majors. it also comes with a Junior Psychology Badge!!! : ) Noooo, not really! ; )

Giving it your all

2011-05-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Give it all give it now! That was the message of Pastor Holly's sermon yesterday. The teaching point or at least for me, figuring out what "it" is...

What is "it" that I have to give? I asked.

Inspired, I sat down to work a little more diligently on a piece I'm writing for a Father's Day. Something I do when I write, to try to make sure it is coming from an authentic place, is I record the story then listen for edits.

The video below was the result.

I have a question for pastor Holly. What if when you are giving it your all the rest of your life steps in and says NOW!

Happy Monday, : )

Amanda

Mom Like Mine

2011-05-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

There's a bit of a Mother's Day hangover here. When you don't make it home on the "big day" and you know BOTH the card and the gift you sent are arriving late...there's an uneasiness that settles in as we seek to do better!

Thankfully, I was reminded of the gentle nature and healing power of a Mother's heart when I listened to this song. This is an original song recorded yesterday by Makena (and my good friends Siena & Toast)...

http://makenamusic.com/audio/MomLikeMinelive.mp3

It's helped to calm me down. I've been able to breathe this morning and have not had to result to eating raw owls eggs and fried canary (i.e., an old wives tale remedy for hangover ).

I thought I'd share it with anyone who's heart might feel a little heavy or unpleasant this morning too.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

mitty's resume...need assistance

2011-05-02T09:14:00.001-07:00

Good Morning,

It came to my attention that there was a small hiccup in the system last week OR should I say a mild hairball cough?

Mitty aka Mittens was in charge of the MMN e-mail while I was out of town...but she failed to perform her duty.

So, Mitty has been put on notice! I'm afraid she has become a financial drain on the MMN operation and needs to find outside employment. She has been working on her resume and I ask that you take a moment to read and pass on to any contacts or potential employers. We would be most appreciative.

Sincerely,

Amanda Editor and Chief!!!

*********

Mittens Vallo

Education:
Street

Work Experience:
Monday Morning News dancer, performer, features writer
Published Author- "Mitty's Haiku Corner" a chapbook of original poems

Achievements:
???

Activities & Skills:

effective in kitty massage
type 70+ wpm with 98% errors
operate small machinery (can open cabinet doors with hinges)
excellent people skills

Certification(s)
Completed "Living Well With a Disability" Facilitator Training 5/11

Licensure
Rabies and Feline AIDS Vaccination (current)

Special Interests:

napping
licking ear buds
bird watching

References:

Dr. Andrea Shuster, DVM
Columbus, OH 43212

Susan the Cat Foster Care Lady
Westgate, OH

Juanita Sanchez
Assistant Rooms Manager
Hilton Inn Express
O'Fallon, MO

Okay, Mitty has just asked for her job back...I have a face full of kitty fur and a nose of tuna breath. (Ewwww...) after we address hygiene she's REHIRED!!! This is just the kind of worker we need around here.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. now she's napping

practicing poet

2011-04-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Here's something I bet you didn't know. April is National Poetry Month!

In celebration I'm putting on my white robes and refusing to leave my room...I thought I'd also get out some parchment this morning and pen a few ditties of my own.

Poem #1 (I'm still working on the titles...)
My heart leaps when I behold
dewy dew drops
clinging to blades of grass
unshorn
trickle dee dee on down
my love
among the worms

#2
death like a moonlit shadow
lurking i hide in thee
waiting
to send shivers
of joy through an unmarked history

#3
when you are old gray and full of sleep
i will sing you a lullaby soft and sweet

(something from the Beatles Abbey Road collection)

should you snuff, snorezzzel horzzzel a reply
it will be my harmony bye and bye

#4
I wandered lonely as a cloud but then I went through the emergency exit and it was LOUD.
Security came running and I definitely wasn’t lonely anymore.

The End.

If you like my "poetic inspirations," you might enjoy my favorite poets Shel Silverstein and Paul Guest (I don't really understand his poems just his process)

http://www.shelsilverstein.com/play.asp

http://paulguest.blogspot.com/ (Paul Guest's blog)

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. stay tuned. next week drumming and spoken word!

where i learned to play ball

2011-04-12T08:48:00.001-07:00

Good Morning,

I may be going a little overboard with this baseball business but when you’ve got two full museums worth of material you gotta work it!

Just in case you snoozed through my last couple MMN posts (no worries baseball tends to have this affect on me too), I’ve been learning about women’s baseball and the Negro Baseball Leagues. Following one of these entries, I received this hot tip from a MMN insider

Amanda,

Good evening. I enjoyed your email. Did you know that Minster had a woman who played in this league from 1951 through 1955? Check her out. Her name is Katie Horstman. I just did a search and there's lots of information on her.

Love you,
Dad

So...

Katie Horstman, now 76 yrs. old grew up in Minster, the same small town in Northwest Ohio where my Grandparents came or age and raised their families. With five brothers, Katie learned to play ball tagging along and insisting they include her in their games. At age 15, a scout spotted her in a church-league softball game and helped her earn a tryout for the All American Girls Baseball League.

That's when she announced she would be taking her talents South of "the Bend" to the Fort Wayne!...

(i.e. she signed a contract for roughly $250 a month to play for the Fort Wayne Daisies)

Having the same Midwest potato salad family reunion experience, I’ve perhaps walked across some of the same fields perhaps even swung a bat in the same park that sprung this Fort Wayne Daisy of the AAGBL.

While the story of what these pioneering women experienced remains interesting, what is most interesting to me is what became of Katie after the league.

I imagined rebellion.

Did she skip town for the bright lights, anonymity, and casual wear of a big city? Did she fall into a depression, get drunk on love and booze and settle down with a nice farm boy? Did she run for mayor of Minster and throw cheese from the dairy float in the Oktoberfest parade? (the main event each year in the German Catholic village of Munster).

No, Katie became a nun.

who then became a physical education teacher and...

This is where her story at least in my life's narrative picked up again. As a talented young female athlete with bloodlines in Minster, peep the word that you've joined the middle school track team and you will hear...

"Have you heard of the Minster girls?"

No matter that your 400 time clocks in around average, your "finishing kick" is only the Charlie Brown moments in your head...(i.e. if you close your eyes it seeeems fast!)

a response of "No, I have not,"

leads to the recounting of the remarkable lore of--KATIE HORSTMAN!...

After saying goodbye to another winning team, The Franciscan Sisters of the Sacred Heart, Katie barnstormed the Midwest, teaching physical education and eventually returned home to Minster and brought life to the girls' sports programs.

To give you an idea of her success I've "coped" (i.e. copied) a bit of her induction into the Ohio Women's Hall of Fame (2002)

By 1980, she focused on track and cross country. For the next five years, Coach Horstman's Minster girls team never lost a track meet. After being Runner-Up State Champions in 1975, the inaugural year of girls track and field, Coach Horstman's Minster girl's team won five consecutive state championships.

Given I have no real physical limitations to my imagination, I like to imagine Coach Horstman and I are kin. Had I arrived all spindly legged on her team quickly she would recognize an uncanny talent. "Our differences..." she would note "are our strengths." We are different. Katie could see I shouldn't throw heavy objects. I, with patience, could be taught the technique to harness my "ups" (high jumping) into a torpedo of bendy efficiency. Oh the records we would set...the heights we would reach!

Katie went from milking cows to shagging flies for the Daisies to...

medaling in the Olympics (2 gold 2 bronze) with her slow-pitch softball team in the Senior Olympic Games. Currently, she lives in the LA area. In addition to performing baseball education clinics her most recent efforts include doing work to establish a Palm Springs Elderhostel (another term I have only heard in Minster. It means Senior Citizens getting in a car and traveling some place for educational enrichment).

To me the greatest gift of Katie Horstman's legend is the jog she will always give to my favorite memory.

I was 10 years old playing backyard baseball with the boys. A stiff wind from the outfield blowing in a steady smell of country air (cow poop). With the bravado only mustered by a young girl wearing a plastic Cincinnati Reds helmet, I stopped my grandma on her trek out to the garden (she kept it next to the bullpen). I asked, "Grandma can you hit?"

My grandma in buckle-strap sandals grabbed a bat and cracked a jaw dropping fly ball I only wish an AAGBL scout could've seen.

and another...and another!!!...

Perhaps Grandma was showing us what all good women have to share. No matter the circumstance there's always a place in life for a heart with endless determination and resilience. Get on out there and Play ball! : )

Alright, that's what I have for today.

Wishing you an even happier Tuesday,

Amanda

looking for heroic moments

2011-04-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I've got heroic moments on my mind this morning. To me a "heroic moment" can be defined as when the ordinary oversteps its bounds to become extraordinary.

Sometimes it is incredibly clear where this line gets drawn e.g., the 9/11 passengers who tried to overtake the terrorists and brought down their own plane. Other times it's a little suspect...the boy finishing last in every event at the father-son picnic saying "my dad's my hero!"

...recently I watched a documentary film in which a young man in high school stood at a wedding reception watching his father's Elvis impersonator act. He later confessed "my dad's my hero."

Where does this line get drawn? The young man with the Elvis dad highlights for me that a "heroic moment" ...depends more on the eyes of the observer.

In this way, I'd like to offer

Satchel Paige...the author of one of my favorite heroic moments...

(*I've recently been to the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum)

Leroy "Satchel" Paige was an ace pitcher for the Kansas City Monarchs of the Negro Leagues.

Before Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and helped integrate “Major League Baseball” cities across the Northeast, Midwest, and South outfitted their own teams of the best African American ballplayers. To keep the Negro League afloat teams such as the Monarchs would barnstorm across the country playing challenge games against local white talent.

It was in one of these games that Stachel’s heroism stood out.

Bases loaded a white player on the opposing side told Satchel "he wan’t no pitcher. he’s just a no good darky!”

Defiant, Satchel stopped the game and called all the outfielders and the infielders to the mound.

He said, “I don’t need ya. cept the catcher."

According to one of Satchel's teammates, a man who was on the field that day, all his fielders, except the catcher of course, then retired to the dugout.

...To me, heaving a basketball 60ft. down court to sink a winning basket is "very cool" it's "amazing" "AWESOME!!!" It's not however the heroic moment I'd pick. I'd rather go with a man or woman whose deed took on the dark history of society, that stuck a finger to the hate and injustices of segregation!

It took NINE PITCHES! Three pitches to the first batter, three pitches to the next, and three pitches to strike out the side...

for the full account you can go to

http://www.coe.ksu.edu/nlbemuseum/reslib/clips/milespaigevid.html

awesome!

So tonight as "One Shining Moment" plays for the NCAA champion and as MLB baseball continues to fire up its season, I'd like to raise a muscle in salute to Satchel who gave us all a moment to cheer for and be inspired by...okay and he also gave us these...

Satchel's Rules For Livin'

"Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood."
"If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts."
"Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move."
"Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society—the social ramble ain't restful."
"Avoid running at all times."
"And don't look back—something might be gaining on you

Happy Monday,

Amanda...jangling around gently as I move : )

responding to disaster...

2011-03-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

"The biggest mystery about man is that he sees death around him everyday and yet doesn’t believe it will happen to him." (Buddhist scholar)

Perhaps this is why I like Buddhism so much. I can read this statement and say, well at least I don't have this problem...I am able to worry about it (death) everyday in myself and in others!

I've been listening to dharma talks. When disasters such as the earthquake/tsunami in Japan occur we (the collective "we") are left with the painful question "what can we do?"

If you know me well enough by now, I ask WWBTGD? (What Would Buddha Teacher Gil Do?)

Buddha Teacher Gil says that it is enough to "make the effort." That is, to make the effort to respond (e.g., a financial donation to the Red Cross or relief agency) even if it’s small.

In this way, I wanted to share a relief effort I am supporting. My friend and Monday Morning News "language expert" contributor Jen Chen's cousin is the brain behind this effort (and I guarantee you it is BIG)...

I just checked, according to reports, over 250,000 households are still without power. The ReadySet battery will help...If you are still looking for a place to donate; I encourage you to check this out.

http://fenixintl.com/donate

(I love the idea of a battery that you can charge via pedaling a bike!)

If donating does not feel right to you, another thing we can do is allow ourselves to become more committed to our day-to-day efforts. For example, if you are a teacher take some class time to talk to students about what they've seen on TV, check-in on your elderly neighbor, vote for clean energy bills...get your kitty a new ID tag with proper locating information.

The third important idea in the WWBTGD philosophy is to remember to not respond, to not be changed by the difficult circumstances in Japan is to do a kind of violence to ourselves. The nature of the human heart is to respond...

If these suggestions seem too simplistic, remember they are given in the spirit of challenge not comfort. The important questions are perhaps most difficult to grapple with...what can we honestly give? Where does giving truly come freely to you and sustain those around you with joy?

In this light I'd like to offer one last effort.

I have family both by birth and by choosing living in California. Several of whom have seemed to have parked it atop the San Andrea fault... : ( Curious, this morning I went onto the FEMA website...

I've compiled a quick cheat sheet study guide for what to do before, during, and after an earthquake the SGFWTDBDAAAE (another easy to remember acronym)...

Study Guide for What to Do Before During and After an Earthquake

BEFORE

--Prepare an emergency kit. Include in it: bottled water, a fire extinguisher, flashlights (AND BATTERIES), small First Aid supplies, non-perishable food items, blankets, medications and diapers (if it’s the big one someone is going to soil themselves).

DURING

--Drop, cover and HOLD ON!!!!!!!! Get under a sturdy desk, crouch against an inside wall and HOLD ON to something sturdy.

--If in bed, STAY in bed and put a pillow over your head. (This one confuses me...)

The danger during an earthquake seems to be not falling into the earth (i.e., large cracks opening up) but rather getting squashed...

--Do NOT run outside! If you are outside STAY OUTSIDE away from trees, electric wires, and especially the weird neighbors with the gargoyles. Most people are injured when entering or leaving a building and something heavy falls on them…like a large gargoyle?

AFTERWARDS

--If you smell gas turn the gas off. If you see crackling wires, turn the main electricity in the home off.

--IF TRAPPED do not yell? Again, this one is confusing to me, but I guess the idea is that yelling causes deep inhales thus dust into your lungs. (I’m covering my mouth with my shirt and yelling my fool head off). FEMA recommends blowing a whistle or tapping on metal pipes.

(To address this concern I’ve decided I will take the action of sending each of my friends/loved ones a whistle and carry along, pocket dust masks).

SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

--What to do with the little ones!? The same rule applies. Duck, Cover and Cling! Here I believe the clinging will occur to you the adult/guardian so be prepared to offer these words. “It’s okay, Mommy and Mommy are here for you and we’re going to be doing everything we can to keep you safe...Puff the kitty is an excellent hider. She’s gone to find a safe place...Yes, we can pray for her...No we can not go take her some of your goldfish."

--If the other parent is away or at work during this time tell the child that they know we’re together here and will come home as soon as heavenly possible.

okay and lastly, please use the SGFWTDBDAAAE only AFTER checking out FEMA's website http://www.fema.gov/areyouready/earthquakes.shtm.

Wishing you Peace and Comfort. Happy Monday,

Amanda

a trip outside the city limits

2011-03-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I've been hanging out in museums lately...how's that for a catchy opener?

Recently, I went to see an exhibit at the Johnson County Museum that tells the story of the All American Girls Baseball League. As you might imagine, this did not take long. Women's professional baseball has left us some prominent newspaper clippings and an over-sized mitten (i.e., an old fashioned baseball glove)...

Schooled through popular culture, I too enjoyed these pioneering women depicted in "A League of Their Own" but I went seeking more of the immediacy of the experience. Somehow the old grainy photos connected me to a look I recognized, a look that says there's a little more "sporty girl" in my DNA than you might realize...

I winced a little when I came across this document "League Rules of Conduct" which spelled out in gory detail...

1. ALWAYS wear feminine attire...AT NO TIME MAY A PLAYER APPEAR IN THE STANDS IN HER UNIFORM, OR WEAR SLACKS OR SHORTS IN PUBLIC.

2. Boyish bobs are not permissible and in general your hair should be well groomed at all times with longer hair preferable to shorter cuts. Lipstick should always be worn.

The list did not get any better ending at the bottom with...15. Players will not be allowed to drive their cars past the city limit's without the special permission of their manager.

It was a different time back then but I feel a "proper lady" should've been free to conduct her lady business!!!

Although not recorded for history, I played one year of Little League baseball. Here's how the back of my b-ball card would have read.

Team: Tipp City Optimists
Team Color: black
Position: 2nd base, pitcher
Seasons: 1
Stats: Batting Avg. .125, home runs 0, 1 fly ball out of the infield
Pitching Scouting report: high accuracy throws a good slow ball

*Interesting fact: One All-Star appearance that really confused an older woman in the park restroom. An indignant woman kept saying "young man! young man! You CAN NOT be in here!"

After finding an old stack of Sports Illustrateds in the attic, I determined I would be the next Sandy Koufax!--the first girl in Major League baseball playing for the Cincinnati Reds and pitching for the LA Dodgers on weekends.

Wandering through a museum I was able to wonder would I have played back then? (minus the challenges at the plate...lack of speed? power?...) somehow I could have managed this. I could field to the right and the left and had the discipline to make a solid plate appearance. I even had the family connections. (Great Aunt Margaret of South Bend could’ve been my miserly chaperone for the Blue Sox...) What I could NOT have managed was this...CHARM SCHOOL.

I will not go into full detail but rather highlight a few key items on the syllabus:

"Keep your uniform as clean and neat as possible. Always secure your stockings so that they are smooth and neat and remain in place. Keep your shoes clean and shining. And see if you don't feel better and play better ball..."

How is a girl supposed to keep her shoes clean and shining on a dirt field?

"Always carry your beauty kit with you when you go on road trips and equip yourself with all necessary articles for your toilette."

I think this means to carry a plunger with you at all times in case there's a backed up toilet?

"INTRODUCTIONS. Under all possible circumstances the reply to an introduction is "How do you do?" Well bred people do not say: "Pleased to meet you" but when it is actually true, you can say: "I am VERY glad to meet you."

What if I might like to smile and say HOWDY! (strike THREE!!!)

No, I would not have made it in "The League" but I am thankful to the women who did. There is no crying in baseball but there is a grateful heart. How many frustrations and embarrassments did Betsy and Edyth endure to follow a dream and speak the simple truth "I love to play ball?"

As I wheeled out the door and down the ramp, I braced for the bitter cold. I grabbed the brim of my cap when smacked with an early spring gust and gamely slid behind the wheel. I gunned the engine (nooo not really) and with a tip of my cap OFF back inside the city limits to keep doing my lady business! (i.e., workout, study for licensing exam, take out the trash, love on Mitty...)

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. you can go to http://www.aagpbl.org/ for more info on the All American Girls Professional Baseball League

Tourney Pick'Em Tips

2011-03-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

If you live in Kansas, there is one thing you are guaranteed this time of year. Wherever you go you are likely to run into random groups of people huddled around a TV looking intent or mildly concerned as they mull over the words to "Rock Chalk Jayhawk!"-a haunting victory chant.

Rooooock chaalk Jaaaaay Haawk...Kaaaay Uuuuuu

The mood and tone of a city is indeed set by the outcome of the madness.

MARCH MADNESS!!!

The NCAA Men's (and Women's!!!) basketball tournament is set to begin this week. I have my sheets of integrity here ready to fill out (aka the "Pick em' Pool" Tournament brackets). Over the years in doing this it has become my theory that knowing the most about sports does not make the best Bracketologist. My Grandma, routinely a top finisher the family pool, relies on a steady viewing schedule and then I think selects based partly on whether or not a team has a cute coach or handsome players.

Since this has proven an effective strategy, I've decided to put away my stat sheets and try a new approach this morning. Amidst the MADNESS an analysis of team nicknames and mascots seems a saner approach.

So...after research and analysis of the 2011 NCAA's 68 teams I've culled together some tips I hope you too will find helpful for filling out your brackets.

10 Tips for Tourney Pick'Ems!...using team mascots

1. Look for Indiana State "The Fighting Teachers" (although currently the Sycamores) to make a long run into the Tournament. As demonstrated by the current political battles in Wisconsin, a cohesive group of Teachers are hard to knock off their committed course...

2. Write this down somewhere handy...next to your sheet.

A Tiger beats a Wildcat (too generic) and a working dog (Huskies, "Reveille" the Collie) beats a domestic non-sporting dog (e.g. Bulldogs or Terriers).

In all there are 11 cat teams, 9 dog teams, 5 bears...and at least 2 rodents. In a cat vs. dog fight go with the cats.

3. Also, a man with a gun beats animal unless it is a grizzly...

4. There are several interesting match-ups in the first round I am excited to see:

"The Commodores" against the Spiders. Here I feel at least one of them, probably Lionel, would step on a spider...or possibly in choreographed dance moves inadvertently squash the spiders.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Pocket_(Commodores_album)

The Texas A&M "Aggies" will be clashing with the Florida State Seminoles. I believe FSU after losing in the conference tournament might be ready to beat the "land grant" Aggies over the uppity white mans proliferation of farming.

5. Purdue vs. St. Peter's. A trained craftsman beats a peacock. (You might also report this to PETA)

6. Looking to outwit your friends by nailing the tricky 8-9 seed matchups? No problem. How about out in the West region the #8 seed Wolverines vs. #9 seed Volunteers? A fierce rodent like animal fighting on it's back verses the helpful volunteer. Go with the Wolverines.

7. I have not yet been able to come down with a ruling for battles of mythical creatures so my advice is flip a coin or consult the oracles for contests between, Blue Devils, Pirates, Leprechauns, Redstorms, Bruins and Blaze a Fire Breathing Dragon

8. A Buckeye is a poisonous nut. They are also the #1 overall seed...coincidence? no, pick them!

9. Akron ZIPS!!!!!!! this team will run faster, jump, higher etc. Down side, if they win, it is Akron. Remember "It's gotta be the shoes money!" No MAC team is a good bet.

10. So,...my Final Four Includes a mythical bird (Kansas), a gator (Florida), huskies (U Conn), and dirty feet (North Carolina)? With the overall champions?...

Dirty Feet vs. a Baby Jay?

Dirty Feet.

okay, good luck and Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. Zips refers to a particular brand of kids shoe

Five random acts if cuteness.

2011-03-07T08:39:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

Not too long ago this mysterious clip went viral (or okay was at least a big hit among cat lovers) on YouTube.

Thanks to my favorite language expert (hello Eto : ) I've learned there was a huge trend in Japan where people discovered that if you put kittens beside a nabe pot (those pots you see in the video), they will climb in and curl up like it's a box. This is a particular game show in which they decided to do it en masse. At the very end of the show, the hosts declared it 'a success' because most of the kittens climbed into the nabes...

There really seems to be no further explanation. Kittens are cute and, okay, the Japanese are odd.

or maybe they are just really more in tune with finding the joy and delight in the everyday. With two weeks left of winter and a solid study routine, I feel myself slipping into the mundane...

Now, inspired! I've challenged myself to see if I can find at least Five Random Acts of cuteness...in one morning.

Five Random Acts of Cuteness

1. A little girl in the bathroom stall at church. I listened as she was schooled on what not to do with the communion bread. This little one had torn off a piece and instead of dipping it in the cup of Christ had left it to bob and swim in the grape juice.

2. The children of St. Andrew were called to the front for special prayer and community praise. They had been keeping coin collections for their brothers and sisters in Haiti (?) who as one child put it "Do not have as good a walls as we do." All sat with attention toward the woman kneeling with the microphone except two. Two random children turned to look for their parents both with fingers sticking in their noses. (I've been told they think better this way : ).

3. The 11:00 service Adult choir soloist. I know you're not supposed to have favorites but i do. A very tall woman in her 60's (59 and holding) sings with such spirit and energy it is catching. Her solo was a planned event but sitting in the back with obstructed view it seemed random. Halfway through the folksy bluegrass spiritual I saw her rock the page boy and lift her somewhat shrill soprano in jubilant vibrato. My heart leapt as she beamed and then acceded the planted microphone to an equally expressive (i.e. cute) "Man of (In)Constant Sorrow..."

4. Pastor Holly she is sometimes random and is cute...

I wasn't feeling too well but somehow perked up as she managed to equate Jesus' Transfiguration i.e.,

"Atop a mountain, he became radiant, spoke with Moses and Elijah, and was called "Son" by a voice in the sky..."

to a young child in the 1950's patiently kneading a yellow dye tablet into an opaque blob of lard.

5. Okay, sorry just a random thought. How did they discover that kittens will sit in nabes? According to Wikipedia, a nabe pot is Japanese earthenware typically used for communal eating of stews and soups. How did more than one person discover...I mean what was the conversation that occurred to discover that both of us have kittens that might curl up nice n easy in the communal stew pot? Just a random thought.

okay off to study or see if I can get Mitty (the pen stealing kitty) to sit in a crock pot : ),

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a brother's love is...

2011-03-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

Here's a very quick story from my youth. As I bent down to set up the BB-gun target, a row of Coke cans, I heard the unmistakeable click, click blat...of the "pump" gun. To this day, it is unclear whether the true bulls-eye was my butt or the bottom of my shoe but as I knelt to do my apprentice duty...I suspected the hee hee hee of my brother's voice was not meant to leave my sweat-panted hiny unscathed.

Perhaps this is why I was so moved this weekend as I looked out my apartment window to see Eric (my brother) bent over clearing a path for me with such meticulous care. It iced-over hard here this weekend. My brother was in town for a business meeting and up early the next morning to make his flight.

I'd gotten up early too to see him off. After hugs and safe travel wishes, no sooner had I turned to tend to Mitty "the treat jonesing" kitty than I heard a little knock on my door. It was Eric! He said, "Hey I just wanted to let you know, it's a sheet of ice out there. Be careful. I just fell."

Surprised, I checked to make sure he was okay then turned on the TV. The winter weather news crew flashed onto the scene and reveled in their morning horror stories.

"It's ICEY out there Bob! I live 30min. from the station and had a 1 1/2 hr. commute this morning!"

only to be out done by the next...

"Yes Carol, as you can see traffic here at I-69 and 435 is crawling. If you don't need to be out this morning stay in, and if you do be sure to leave yourself plenty of extra time!"

Although I would have loved it if he could have stayed, I also did not want my brother to have to extend his travel. Thus, I quickly urged him to be careful (TURN AROUND AND COME BACK if needed...) and advised that he head slowly to the airport right away!

Eric stood there looking concerned. My interpretation?...contemplating how to leave yet still do his duty to care and protect his little sister from hazardous foot steps.

I know! I thought. I have the quick solution to our problem! By my door I have a bag of rock salt. That is, a bag of salt maintenance crews use for spreading on icey sidewalks and walkways.

I handed my brother the bag and a plastic cup and asked that he throw some down...implying quickly as I parroted out the news crew's growing alarm, "You need extra time if headed to the airport!"

(...we had planned for a morning with a leisurely departure time not one of triple drive time and jack knifed semis!!!)

Doo do doo...

I looked out the window proudly at my brother in his smart looking pea coat and nifty running shoes.

Yes, i thought, that's my brother! Look at him putting down that salt for me!

I looked out the window still proud...

See how careful he's being!

I looked out and at the clock concerned...

Now what can be taking so long? Just exactly what is he doing?

This was not the simple maintenance man scatter. There was some sort of systematic planning going on out there. There was bending and stooping almost like a golfer setting up his put. He surveyed and turned and sprinkled...

Desperate to help or understand, I stepped out onto the door mat in my PJs. "Brother!? Brother? Are you done?"

I went back inside. Checking the freezer for more overnight provisions, there is no way I thought this boy's making it to the airport. Luckily, I had food...

Finally, I heard some foot stomping at the door. I can't help but tear up a little when I think of the words that came next. "Well Sister, I made you a path!" My sibling companion who used to shoot BBs at my behind had...cared enough to make me a path! It was the best path every made! It went directly from my door, down the sidewalk, around my neighbor's car and straight to my driver's side car door!

This person who used to bitterly complain about arrival times (a Senior providing car pool service cannot arrive at the early bird Freshman's time!) had seen through to my needs and let the demands of schedules sit to make a way for me to be.

This person who made me use the broom while he got to use the hockey stick...

okay...He indeed made it to the airport in time and is now home. I believe in you and love you Brother.

Happy Tuesday,

Amanda

Simply a Great Man

2011-02-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

This time of year there's a message on my phone the "Voice Mail Lady" would really like for me to erase. When I check for messages she lets me know...

"You have one saved message." She plays it for me then with voice unmoved asks me to press "7" if I'd like to erase the message or "9" if I'd like to save...

In a rush of anxiety, I'm always jamming on the 9!!!!! You see this is the last message I received from my Fishing Buddy Bill. He died two weeks after this recorded message.

It goes...

"This is Bill. Just callin to see what you was doin. I'll talk to you later. bye."

It may seem like an insignificant memento like somewhere over the course of two years I should have hit 7 but it's not! What the "Voice Mail Lady" has yet to understand is that this is not an unhealthy holding onto...I'm actually using it as a crutch for "letting go" into something else...simplicity.

In Bill's voice and words, I'm reminded of how very little we need to be okay...(And maybe that he's out there somewhere checkin in)...

An apartment with heat. (check)

clean underwear...OR a place you can clean it (check, check!)

a warm breakfast. or knowing there's always time for cereal...(check!)

a place to go where everybody knows your name...some people call it church (check!), TV called it Cheers...it could also be the gym (check!), work, school, AA meetings, or a hole in the wall diner called Stan's : ).

a good relationship with denim- i.e., a single item of denim clothing that fits comfortably (check!)

curiosity and a project to work on (check!)

the love of at least one good woman- preferably one you can take fishing and to car shows...(check!?!?)

In short, what I'm doing is using this message as what Buddha Teacher Gil would call an invitation to "let go" into simplicity. As noted in the frantic number punching, 9!!!! 9!!!, I haven't quite mastered this one yet, but I know there will be many more opportunities to practice...now, sorry I must go. Time to make some phone calls!...

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Gettin' crafty in the kitchen...

2011-02-14T09:28:00.001-08:00

Good Morning,

In my immediate circle of family (Mom, Dad, and Brother), there really weren't too many favorite meals or recipes. I suppose this is in part why I like cereal so much...Instead, we had one treat that made special appearances on birthdays and occasions like Valentines Day--THE RED VELVET CAKE!!!

The red velvet cake aka the "Roosevelt Chapman" cake in honor of a favorite UD men's basketball player in the 80's*, is silky smooth and curious in color. It is a mixture of chocolate and vanilla that like "Velvy Baby" can't be beat!...

While red food coloring provides its deep rich red appearance and the South's Paula Dean perhaps its resurgence in popularity, Mom did one better than the armadillo cake (see groom's cake in the 1989 film Steel Magnolias)...she always made this cake in the shape of a heart. Perfect!!! indeed for Valentine's Day!!!

So...this past weekend inspired by LOVE I finally learned what sound my oven makes when it reaches the pre-set and made my first red velvet cake from scratch!

I thought I'd share "5 Good Things to Know About Making a Cake" for those of you who are also decidedly uncrafty. For those who do know their way around the kitchen, I've provided the recipe for Mom's Red Velvet Cake at the bottom of this e-mail. Just to allay any fears the verdict on this one was/is "yum!" (wheeeewh).

5 Good Things to Know about Making a Cake

1. You must be fully committed to it. There is no half-a**ing it when making a cake from scratch. Once you have recipe in hand, be prepared to go shopping for oddly specific items...Cocoa (unsweetened) means unsweetened...butter (no salt) means without salt... bring an eye for detail. There's also making the cake then baking the cake, then clean up.

2. Much effort goes unnoticed (or gets curiously noticed). You need to be okay with that. For example, on Valentine's Day securing red food coloring...may involve standing on the lower shelf using the neighboring handy cornbread package as a reacher aide...driving around aimlessly looking for a parking spot...asking where they keep white vinegar?...No, it is not cool to recount your frustrations at Wal-Mart.

3. Yes, it's okay to borrow an electric mixer. These puppies will save you time! and rotator cuff injury.

4. Cognitive dissonance. You will experience cognitive dissonance when faced with your cake batter... "an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously" e.g., I'm gonna make the perfect cake! Oh do I love my people!...Can I stick my finger in it?...Do my loved ones really want my germs?...I decided the best thing to do here is take a position (e.g. I am not sticking my finger in the batter) and stick to it.

5. Don't start too late. Things that involve careful measurement, hot ovens, and blood red food coloring are really not great late night activitiezzzz.

And, the recipe!!!

Mom's Red Velvet Cake

Ingredients:

2-1/4 c. flour
1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
pinch of salt
1 c. buttermilk
1 tbsp. white vinegar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 tbsp. cocoa powder (unsweetened)
2 tbsp. red food coloring (1 bottle)
1-1/2 sticks (unsalted butter)
1-1/2 c. sugar

Pre-heat oven 350

Mix

in 1 med. bowl- flour, salt, baking soda

in 1 lrg. bowl- butter (softened), sugar, eggs

in 1 lrg. glass measuring cup- buttermilk, vanilla, vinegar

in 1 sm. bowl- cocoa, red food coloring (mix until makes a paste) *set aside to add last when mixing to prevent staining and splattering)

*stir up, whisk, mix, beat the heck out of everything in it's bowl. then using the ELECTRIC MIXER combine everything in the large bowl adding just enough (about 1/3 of contents) each time to keep a smooth creamy looking mixture. IMPORTANT-finally add the cocoa and red food color paste last. Once everything is incorporated mix on HI for about 2 minutes.

*be sure to use your spatula to keep wiping down batter splatter from insides of mixing bowl

Pour equal amounts batter into 2 pans. square and round. (not sure size)

Bake

25-30 min. use tooth pick test for doneness

Cool

10 min. before removing from pan. to make the heart. cut round cake into equal halves. orient square cake in front of you like a baseball diamond and then stick semicircles on to make heart shape.

Frosting??? Buy 1 or 2 cans of something at the store you like that is white fluffy and spreadable. goes best with cream cheese or butter cream fluffy frosting.

Wheeewh alright. Good luck and Happy Valentine's Day,

Amanda

10 Tips for Surviving Winter Weather

2011-02-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

The weatherman has promised 5 more days of crummy weather so I've asked myself WWBTGD? (What would Buddha Teacher Gil do?) After bending down to straighten out his meditation mat, I believe he would hold up an apple and say,

"We suffer less if we create meaning from it."

The apple of course suggesting I unplug from my iPod the straightening of the mat an invitation to consider the trajectory of William Tell's arrow had he a shortened leg and a stiff wind at his back.

(SPLAT?!!?)

so...

I've delved into my winter experiences so far this season and come up with

10 Tips for Surviving Winter Weather

1. Take control of your falls. When caught in the midst of an icy patch, try not to panic, tighten and/or flail. Go down on your own terms. It's best just to go limp and drop. Remember this little phrase "To bruise means I can reuse!" (the corollary "If I fight it. i'm really gonna bite it!)

2. A toe-drag gait (tracked with the windy path left in the snow...) is facilitated with a light snow dust. A fluffy snow can also offer a padded landing space. Do not get out the snowblower too soon.

3. When walking it's important to use a cane or other poking device such as a fallen tree branch to explore the path ahead. "If it's snow it's a go. Again, "if it's ice think twice!" Please disregard if traveling on ice skates.

4. Be extra careful in parking lots. Watch for icy patches like hazard lines and disability markings in the painted areas. I believe it's unfortunate how so far through use of modern man's initiative and planning we've made things worse. I propose a grass routes initiative. We need an army of people wearing fanny packs filled with road salt, sand or kitty litter!!! When out running errands or on a Johnny Appleseed walkabout drop a handful whenever you come upon a spot of painted ice.

5. Remember most wheelchair tires do not go in the snow. I'm learning this one the hard way. Three times this year I thought the walk was passable from my car to the doors of the gym. What I did not account for was snow drifting...

It's common knowledge do not drive a car into standing water in flooding conditions. What looks like 3 inches of water is actually 3 engine flooding feet.

The same can be said for wheelchair travel conditions in wiiiiindy Kansas. A dusting of snow soon becomes a tire sinking, panic huffing cussing !@#$ mountain in spots.

It is important NOT to wait for helicopter rescue. Rely on some Good Samaritans to make use of their workouts and ask for a 25 yard shuttle push!

6. Flares!...flares. Always pack the emergency kit, in case you get stuck in a crowd, with attention grabbing flares. (*social psychology bystander effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect).

7. Remember in a blizzard you are on “own time.” Let go ever so briefly from the discipline of external pressures and demands of routine. Here are two things you may want to do while trapped indoors.

Work on weight gain goals
Look out the window and pretend you’re in a snow globe
Call a friend and offer support as they try to potty train their puppy

8. Cut back on the caffeine. Cold weather makes for tight muscles ready to spasm and contract. Caffeine ensures this will happen often when your bladder reeeeeally has to pee.

9. Cultivate your practice of compassion, loving kindness and generosity. Everything hurts less when you do this.

10. I've just done a little research and learned yes, birds who winter up north DO suffer in the cold. I'm not sure what to do about this yet but I will start by keeping up the outdoor feeders...while I dress in layers, wool underwear, waterproof boots, gloves, scarves and then take off my gloves to throw the bread and put back in my iPod.

keep on keeping on everyone!!!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

darn gratitude

2011-01-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

Good Morning, Today's KC weather report...

*...FREEZING DRIZZLE WILL CONTINUE ACROSS THE KANSAS CITY
METROPOLITAN AREA TODAY. AFTER A BRIEF LULL THIS EVENING...THE
PRECIPITATION WILL CHANGE OVER TO SNOW TONIGHT. HEAVY SNOW WILL
THEN OVERSPREAD THE AREA TUESDAY. THE SNOW WILL TAPER OFF LATE
TUESDAY NIGHT AND END EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING.

I believe gratitude is integral to well-being and am darn determined to cultivate it. So...I have...5 things I am grateful for...

1. The Scoop Dogg-- The apartment complex bulldozer. More important than the bucket snow pusher on the front is the name on the side http://www.scoopdoggpushers.com/.
No matter the conditions it always makes me smile "fo schizzle my dizzle!"

2. Kids because in the delicate balance of doing, being, and knowing they show us it is possible to...make and believe EFFORT can be play.

3. $7 Superman t-shirts that rejuvenate gym workouts

4. realizing the fix to my Internet problem this morning was...an unplugged power cord.

5. Mitty!!! Mitty!!! realizing mitty was the quick fix problem with the power cord...(i'm also veeeeery thankful she did not fry herself).

okay, keep trying to cultivate the goodness this morning.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. *mitty cultivating "the practice" on the cushion

2011-01-24T08:09:00.001-08:00

Good Morning,

As I get ready to celebrate my 36th birthday, I'm starting to appreciate the crazy amount of love a parent has for a child. Yesterday, I came across a scrapbook my mom made for me one Christmas of old photos and keepsake records:

My mom wrote in beautiful penmanship...

FIRSTS

BABY SET OUT TO EXPLORE THE WORLD

On Mar. 1 BABY smiled for the first time and laughed on May 1. BABY first recognized Mother's face on Mar. 1.

What I like to think happened here is this...It simply took about a month for my eyes to adjust. There was no excessive gas thus no undefined smiling. On March 1, once I saw my Mother's face I was pleased. Then on May 1, I recognized this thing called Dad.

I do not know why parents keep neat scrapbook records of the BABY'S first nights sleeping or first feedings...

July 21, 1975 was a very significant day in history. Apparently, on this day I ate my first solid graham cracker!!!

Somehow a parent's love is so strong that they will write an entire paragraph on BABY'S SLEEPING patterns and habits in intimate detail when from what I can tell a sentence would've summed it up best.

The first night anyone got a decent night’s sleep was March 13, 1975.

Today's newborn may have video documentarian evidence of their every move, wiggle and first steps. I am left to piece together the story of my arrival from old photos, birth announcements and these curious things called hair clippings.

I was not an attractive infant. My mom cherishes the story of how my arrival was a relative breeze compared to that of my brother but the BABY'S FIRST photo suggests otherwise. Taken in black and white I look appropriately smooshed and blobbish.

IT'S A GIRL! the birth announcement celebrates. It warms my heart to know that I was not apparently a disappointment from the get go. My mom used four exclamation points after BABY is a Girl!!!! and never less than two anywhere else.

The hair clippings suggest nature's protective covering to ensure the survival of the BABY through childhood...

Light brown, fuzzy baby hair adds a layer of cuteness to the squishy skull. Then the head starts to harden and God needs something to help promote the innocence and continued sustainability of the child. This comes in many forms but on September 30, 1976 it seems I was getting by on silky locks of blond hair.

Okay, I bet you get the idea by now, I feel very grateful to both my parents for welcoming me into this world with such love and attention. Although it is safe to say, I will probably never experience the joy of welcoming a child into my own life, I'd like to celebrate and appreciate the joy that is held in the eyes of my friends, family and new people when I see it. The "it" that drives a parent to...scrapbook.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. fun photo- At what age does the BABY start eating like this!? And what exactly happened to my sock?

inspirational people...

2011-01-17T10:45:00.001-08:00

Good Morning,

I really appreciated my cousin's reply to my thoughts on some gym patron stereotypes last week. Megan (my cousin) lives in Portland, Oregon and had a regional touch to add...

"I noticed a lot of New Year resolutioners. I hope they stick with it. Oh and we have a lot of young Asian men who look like they are training for martial arts videos. They are fun to watch as they do crazy pull ups and high kicks, etc."

With this as inspiration, this morning I thought I'd share an entry from last week's "gym patron typology" that due to word count got edited off...I saw her again this weekend...

The Wee Sprite. She wears minimalist FiveFinger running shoes and enters the gym in a full sprint. Other patrons while alarmed have learned to ignore her I can't. Her moves are part dancer, part cheerleader, part awkward kid in high school who lettered in Cross Country...

She wears a Whole Foods tote over one shoulder filled with nothing but an extra t-shirt and a catalogue of Native American jewelry and prints of endangered animals. Her stare is icy and always straight ahead like the hungry wolf of winter. Thwap thwap thwap! She jumps off her elliptical machine mid-stride and starts a frenzied series of jumps and arm-waving incantations.

What is she doing? No one knows.

She engages no one but her weird series of deep knee bends and kicking at the water fountain draws curious looks.

I can never stop watching...

She runs to the abdominal mats doing a flying set of leaps...just when i think she might be a hurdler she starts doing quick transition yoga poses and cheer-leader jumps.

The fast and furious approach is hard to watch and evokes in me a painful curiosity.

I have not written her story yet, but when I do I have a sense that it will end something like this.

"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

okay, that's all I have today. I hope you find some time for your own relaxation and reflection.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

the lifter

2011-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

As part of my daily routine, I like to go to the gym for a good workout. The gym I attend is large with two floors of machines and equipment. To navigate the maze I motor from station to station using my wheelchair. It's speedy, efficient, and yes, safer than walking on tired legs.

Often, other gym patrons like to approach and offer words of support and encouragement. Over the course of 20 years of workouts this form of spontaneous support and sharing has touched me deeply and inspired me. There's only one problem. Sometimes people go overboard.

I was seated at the seated row machine concentrating hard on another "rep" when a woman in her late 50's squatted down beside me. She held a clipboard and had something important to say (well as important as it can be when the woman is wearing an over-sized tee and yoga pants). Without much introduction, she announced she wanted to give me an Award!

"An award?" the natural question I assumed here was why? She wanted to give me an award for...pushing a wheelchair?

Not exactly, she wanted to reward me for being an inspiration, a "Fixture" at the gym (i.e., Someone who always seems to be there, no matter what time of day it is).

Slightly irritated I smiled and nodded. I do not like to disappoint my "fans" so I tried to soften and listen. I shared whatever information she needed for her clipboard and laughed at the task that lie ahead of her.

She now had to go home to her husband, a person of influence, and explain to him why her submission for "the Award" was his Foundation's ticket to lots of tears and a $200 a plate chicken dinner. (What would her husband be telling the committee?)

...just what would she put on this nomination ticket? "There's a girl at the gym I see there every day and she uses a wheelchair...she walks too and has nice muscles!"

I cannot think of a more absurd set of qualifications so it is not surprising to me that I have not won any Award. In fact, after our interview/conversation this woman now seldom makes eye contact. I can only imagine it's awkward unsuccessfully nominating someone for an Award! (I think there should be an Award for those who have endured pain and perhaps marital disharmony on my behalf).

Anyway, all of this to say I think it's important to watch our stereotypes. We often need to make sense of a flood of information at a place like a gym. This can lead to quick judgments and embarrassing errors (see Award!).

If you've ever worked out in a gym, you've probably noticed stereotypical people too.

The Preener- Someone who checks themselves out in the full-length mirror repeatedly throughout a session.

The Screamer- Typically male. The "push" part of a lift is accompanied by an excessive often disturbing SCREAM.

The Cardio Queen- Very attractive (or secretly attractive) to Screamers & Preeners. CQ's live in Spandex and rule the treadmills and elliptical machines from their cell phones.

The New Years Resolutioners- Those whose fitness goals are broken in the first 30 days.

For a complete rundown of this lengthy list you can go your local gym.

It's about this time of year I encourage you to join. You can breathe easier as the "New Years Resolutioners" providing the most punishing pedals on the stationary bike or blitzing the ellipticals with lightning fast pedals...have gone out in a puddle of sweat.

It's the brief down time before the next flock of fleeting new members--those bent over gasping on the StairMaster trying to get bikini ready have left the core of gym culture and moments to appreciate...It’s not the Awards but the rewards of your efforts.

It is a common misconception that the most buff and serious lifters congregate in the free weight section, the area of the gym noted for its impressive racks of hand held weights, padded benches and excessive screams. The most experienced lifters crawl, hang, grunt, and yes, preen a little all about and around another central fixture called the cable cross over machine. Notable for its impressive steel frame and a workman like system of pulleys most come as multi-station units that give the look and feel of a jungle gym. Brilliant in its efficiency and functionality those with the trainer's mind and bodies literally hang out here.

I sat at the seated row station squeezing out another modified rep. (I will not give the tedious details but let's just say there is a proper form!...that belies my balance and desired capabilities). I noticed a young man as he approached, definitely an "Accessory Guy" or maybe an "Ego Lifter." I'd just watched him move an impressive amount of weight and every muscle in his arm ripple and pop as he recorded his progress in a log. A two-gallon jug of some powdered concoction sat close by and a well-used hand towel hung limply over his shoulder. I could see we were both wearing ear buds and required iPods to blast over the gym's re-modeling prize, a new speaker system with bone vibrating bass to PUMP UP THE 80's ROCK!!!

I smiled and nodded a hello. It is customary for the Accessory Guy/Ego Lifter to ask for use of multiple cable attachments. (I will say this is about the only place in life where a guy can ask a complete stranger woman for the ankle strap, rope, and double stirrups and not evoke lots of anxiety). I was prepared to share my equipment stash when the Accessory Guy surprised me with something else.

He pointed to his big arm then nodded at mine. "You're gettin' muscle." Yes, I felt inside like a giddy little schoolgirl. I'm so glad you noticed. Outside I nodded and gave a slightly surprised but cool “thanks.” That’s my reward. Come on and join me. What’s yours?

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Air Travel cont...

2011-01-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

If you can remember a little while back I had some challenging air travel. It involved a trip through Chicago's O'Hare on a Zamboni-like transport and a young driver named Juan.

In this spirit, I thought you might enjoy the account of my most recent air encounters.

This year on my flight home for Christmas things started off poorly. After a thorough pat down in which the security officer informed me of the new rules "We must now follow the leg all the way up until we meet resistance..." Bad news. I learned my flight was cancelled.

This necessitated a trip back to the ticket counter to watch an angry man with a very misshapen head (it was much longer than it was wide like it'd been smushed in a toaster) get even more ugly about interrupted travel plans...

"I'm going to Detroit!" He kept announcing to his beleaguered wife. It did not matter that our cancelled flight had been quickly rebooked for the next plane to Minneapolis with connection flights preserved. This man was going to Detroit! Ready to teach the airline a lesson!!! (...and get his a$$ snowed in).

Using logic only airlines understand, I quickly grabbed my boarding pass for snowy blizzardy Minneapolis and headed back through security with only seconds to spare. The airline counter agent who responded with textbook customer service had provided a "passenger assistant" to expedite this process. Unfortunately, with the help that arrived I now had two challenges- getting through security and getting her ("the help") through security as well.

I will not waste time here describing her areas of weakness or professional growth edges there are surveys that can be filled out for that...

I made it onto the flight and touched down nary a light chop or wobble in the Twin Cities. Forsaking all weathermens' predictions, I guess St. Paul merely shrugged at the winter storm that blasted the East Coast and sent it onto Detroit and then Philadelphia, New York...

In Minneapolis/St. Paul I had a layover.

I do not know why they call the time between Flight 1 and Flight 2 etc. a layover. I have never laid anywhere during this time nor find it relaxing. I admire the seasoned traveler who seems to have it down. They never seem to be laying anywhere either but there is a casual comfort to their business. Mostly I've decided these people are engaged in business I would not like to have...talking their numbers into cell phones or typing steadily into a laptop or a personal assistant device.

Instead what I like to do during my layover is to observe and await the call for "special boarding."

I don't know why exactly they do this but airlines like to seat "us" the weebly and the wobbly in the special disability seating section known as the "bulk head seats" right behind First Class...in exchange for a little extra leg room you get a few panicked stares and the unease of having your survival tools (e.g. a bag filled with emergency underwear and reading material) stowed far far away...

anyway!!!...

It is a little known fact that some of the best conversations on the plane happen here. I'd like to share two...

The poorly aging trophy wife...Berta.

When she arrived she sat down with a symphony of sighing and the croissant rolled from a paper bag and tumbled about her feet. I watched as she dove across the aisle to save it from being tossed with her purse into the overhead then again as she fumbled for it on the floor...as it tumbled about her feet.

She never introduced herself just grimaced and sighed as I helped her find her seat belt then she fell asleep.

The sound of free beverage service awoke her clutching her croissant in the crumpled paper sack now like some jumbo shrimp peeking through the sweat stained, oil soaked hole in its cover. She asked for juice.

With the first shaky sip one eye opened. With the second…she could sense she was not alone.

Berta. She's always tired but never too tired to close her eyes again and engage in a one-sided conversation with a smiling neighbor in the aisle seat...

Berta inherited a considerable fortune from her now dead husband Jim the ex-Kansas City Chief and spends her days traveling back and forth among her 4 adult children providing cloying advice and overstaying her welcome. She sits now in Coach (instead of carrying Coach) and has lost a great deal of her fortune paying for therapy and buying her grandchildren...trips, dinners, doctor's visits, shopping sprees. It is likely that she is somewhat hearing impaired and around the Christmas holiday will share how her children insist she bring 4lbs. of sausage for the breakfast casserole she makes every year.

In short, Berta is a hot mess.

My second conversation was with a woman named Sheeva. Sheeva is a fictional character in the Mortal Kombat fighting game series.

"As brutal as Goro and Kintaro,
she possesses more than enough
power to destroy any opponent
unfortunate enough to cross her path..." -Mortal Combat Armageddon Bio Card

Thankfully the Sheeva I met was more...

The light giver.

She swung a plastic grocery bag filled with sour cream potato chips and a sandwich and pointed to her seat. "That's me over there." Her arms were filled with other traveling essentials like an over sized purse, crossword games, and a book. I swiveled and groped for my backpack. As my items spewed forth, I smiled and sized up the predicament. I don't think you're getting through here. How about I move over?"

Snug as two peas (one large one small) in a pod Sheeva and I sat. The boarding music hummed the tinny Christmas songs. Brenda Lee "Rocked Around the Christmas Tree," Andy Williams was having "the Most wonderful Time..."

Sheeva and I kept it light and fun too. I asked if she was in the spirit this year, the spirit of Christmas! She said, "Oh yes, I’ve had a lot of Christmas this year. I’ve been watching the Hallmark Channel."

She'd also been listening to Christmas songs on YouTube and was easily tickled by asking "Have you heard that one All I Want for Christmas is Ho’s?" (No, I had not).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC8JA3NHmKE&feature=related

I asked, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Not Ho’s," she said. She wanted Bose noise canceling headphones and a Flat screen TV, a big enough workspace to post up and analyze her astrology charts a job she related to gambling.

Using my powers of guestimation, I determined that she was 46?

Sheeva laughed and smiled a flattering "oh no, honey, I'm 62." Sheeva grew up in East Dayton then after a brief flirtation with marriage and a 2 year stint in an ashram (she wanted to find the common thread shared in all religions) headed West...the death of her ailing father and the business of a good friend landed her in Las Vegas, now a single woman with two adult children she seldom sees.

She knows race relations. When she forgot to take her own advice and cash-in at the slots before playing for the next big hit (it's almost as big a rush as sex!!!) she needed other employment. When money's tight she's a nurse for a wealthy white couple who have at times treated her like a slave. "I was volunteered by them to push around some 160 lbs. woman through Disney World in a motorized chair that no longer worked...on carpet!" (for anyone that’s like 250lbs. of dead weight and a brutal tracking surface).

The couple with the woman needing 24/7 assistance sat in First class on their anniversary trip to Jamaica and had her sit in the very back of the plane...on-call. She's experienced the discrimination of being judged to be second class but being good enough to crawl and climb over people to be at her maiden's service...

As she talked, I could not stop looking at her missing bottom two front teeth and how her tongue darted around them sliding past the black built up in the roots--little black dots on dice of bone and ivory. Sheeva's golden skin like a plump, fresh warm ginger bread woman...the flight attendant interrupted stopping in with a basket of treats.

"Cookies!, pretzels!!, peanuts!!!" She piped.

Sheeva, brightened "ooo cookies please." The cookie biscuit. It's not a cookie or a biscuit (unless in England?) I smiled every time at the smell of Sheeva's sweet ginger cookie breath.

I offered her my sign, Aquarius and she offered an unexpected reading.

She'd been watching me too.

"You were mean to the gate agent back there."

"How?" He’d asked if I needed any help getting myself down the jet way or getting from the door to my seat. Confused I struggled to remember. I think I said as friendly and politely as I could after five hours of air travel "No."

"...How was I mean?" I sputtered.

"You didn’t let him help you. Didn’t you see he wanted to help you so bad?"

During the holiday rush amidst the onslaught of panicked travelers with cancelled flights this seemed debatable. I thought I had done a nice thing. Not asking for assistance.

"It’s taken a long time," Sheeva said, "but it’s something that I’ve learned being a Leo (her sign). There have been times when I’ve needed the help and people have wanted to help me so I let them. It’s filing a need of something good in them."

I must have looked doubtful.

I had to turn it around in my head, she insisted. People want to help you. By letting them help, you are giving to them."

Something shifted inside of me. I don't know about other people or how I feel about this as a general rule but in the moment I could feel...it was true for her.

The plane touched down nary a bobble or wobble in Dayton. We taxied to the gate. Sheeva gathered up all her things. We sat and waited for the other passengers to deplane.

“Are you going to let me help you get off this plane to the baggage claim?"

This year on my flight home for Christmas things started off poorly. They ended pretty good. For once i just let go in the lightness and simply said "sure."

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. Today marks 20 years since my SCI. There are approximately 6 million people. That's the same number of people as the combined populations of Los Angeles, Philadelphia, and Washington, D.C. today living with paralysis. To you I say remember it's never to late...live with hope.

bowl game swagger

2010-12-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

It's Friday I just wanted to keep a finger on the pulse...

I came across an item I thought could enrich your day.

Today and definitely tomorrow for many attention swings to the college football bowl games. Amidst the hype and hoopla you may come across the impassioned argument about paying players. The argument may go:

"The five athletes suspended for The Ohio State Football program...Would they be trading their memorabilia for tattoos if they had been paid a stipend to play the game?"

Those who see this as a financial decision tend to argue "No! Pay the athlete and the problem goes away!"

For those like NCAA president Mark Emmert I've heard him argue the point in these terms...

These athletes are being given a world class opportunity to train and develop their skills. The quality of education they receive is enough and besides the money made on selling their jerseys is not going directly into any one institutions pocket but rather into the general coffers which is then used to strengthen and support the overall high quality of the environment these athletes get to train in...

We cannot ever get to the point where athletes are paid!

(for more to this argument go to http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/2010-12-15-mark-emmert-ncaa-pay_N.htm)

(...sigh) as in most things the answer lies somewhere in between. Folks like Mark Emmert are masters at spinning the question.

I'm not here to argue whether athletes get paid. I think it's clear college athletics is a big business with athletes in high revenue sports already being "paid" like Superstars with unquestioned adoration and affection. I see contrast in the soon to be millionaire and the soon to be laid off single mother trying to provide a happy holiday (including buying one of those stinkin jerseys) for her kids...

This is the levity I took this morning when looking more deeply into the bowl game swag bags. Gift suites, electronics, watches, luggage...And I found this

The Helen of Troy hair dryer!

Perfect! with so many of these boys wearing the long flowing hair these days. it's not just a Tom Brady thing but a trend among college players too!!!

Today at 2pm EST, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Miami Hurricanes will be going toe-to-toe after a week with...vanity, hot air, and a product suggesting these once heavy hitters are now taking on light weight durability.

The Sun Bowl will be an important opportunity for them to show off their hairdos.

In this respect I'm giving the edge to the "U" (the Miami Hurricanes). Watch for these guys.

Travis Benjamin- voted "Best Hair" by his teammates. A lightning quick wide receiver who can spread the field, beat you deep, and wraps a mean orange Ace Band Aid around his hair...

(from The Miami Hurricane.com)

“It feels good because you have players come up to you and be like, ‘Man, you’ve got to cut your hair so I can have the longest hair on the team...’”

Benjamin said that he hasn’t cut his hair since the eighth grade, but is considering cutting it next year if an opposing player tackles him by his dreads.

That’s something that has yet to happen in a game, though!"

For the Irish watch for Trevor Robinson #78 offense, guard...

See he is not smiling because he has lost his edge.

hmm, I guess some bowl games really "do" blow. Stay on the bright side ND fans.

Hope you have a Happy New Years Eve Day,

Amanda

Looking forward to the family holiday...

2010-12-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

10 Ways to Spice Up Your Holidays and Enjoy Your Family

1. Watch White Christmas sing all songs loudly and slightly off key. (except if your name is Uncle Dan and we have determined it's best if you harmonize).

2. Have Grandma cook a family favorite and leave out a key ingredient. The rest get to take turns playing "guess the missing ingredient" while listening to Grandma giggle. It's really a great way to pass on the recipe.

3. Do something notably different with your hair. Mine will be significantly darker this year. You may prefer trying out the Nicki Minaj...

4. Take the family on a driving tour of holiday lights. Bring an award and give it to your favorite house. Better yet mail it to their address!

5. It may be too late for this one but...make it a tacky sweatshirt gathering! This works twofold. Not only do you take off the pressure of what to wear also the aunt who always buys these (or irons on the applique) gets to see her handiwork.

6. This one’s simply a time saver. Gather everyone together in the living room. Form a giant circle and hold hands. On the count of three yell THANK YOU! We are renouncing the age old practice of thank you notes!!! If somebody reeeally wants one...

replace "thank you" with an entirely different phrase. To that end, I will be using the phrase: "May your tribe increase." After some research, I found that it is a traditional form of well-wishing in India.

Other non-thank you "thank yous" you might use?

• Cheers
• Ta
• That's great
• Cool
• OK
• Brilliant
• Lovely
• Nice one
• Much appreciated
• Fab
• Awesome
• Wicked
• Merci
• Danke
• Gracias
• Super
• Ace

7. Have “alternative” story time (or as I'm seeing it...recount the beginnings of the first white elephant gift exchange). Here's my entry...

The Buddha too arrived in the world in what some would call a mythical or magical way.

One night amidst a great festival Queen Maya went to her quarters to rest. In a vivid dream, she dreamt four angels appeared and took her into white mountains where a great white bull elephant approached holding a white lotus flower in his trunk. He circled her three times then struck her with his trunk and entered into her right side. Thus it was in 10 lunar moons she would give birth to a son. According to tradition, Queen Maya asked to return to her father’s home to give birth. With the King’s blessing she set out in a large procession in a royal palanquin

Along the way she so captured by the splendor of a beautiful garden grove she asked to stop. As she reached up to touch the fruits of a blossoming tree her son, the Buddha, was born…while she was standing up, he came right out…

8. Christmas Day at 5pm “King” James and the Miami Heat take on the Los Angeles Lakers! Get out your Gloria Estefan records, push the furniture back and practice your spicy hot salsa dancing as your pre-game warm up!

9. Set up a hot chai tea stand and pass out cupfuls to crazy runners or intrepid dog walkers passing through the neighborhood.

10. Every time a bell rings take a big swig of eggnog (...spicy because of the nutmeg and rum!)

okay, have a very Merry One, : )

Amanda

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-21T07:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday (on a "tuneful" Tuesday),

Amanda & Mitty : )

new beginnings

2010-12-13T08:36:00.001-08:00

Good Morning,

January marks 20 years since I sustained a spinal cord injury. I was riding home with a friend from school when a lady ran a red light and broadsided the car I was riding in two blocks from my home. I woke up in the backseat wheel well and watched all my efforts to stand produced one small movement. My arm slowly lifted and dropped with a thud hitting me in the face. Instantly, I was a C5-C6 quadriplegic. Thankfully, no one else was injured.

Although I have made a considerable physical recovery and peace with my circumstances, I am still driven to look for resolution to unanswered questions.

In the spirit of new beginnings, I recently had "Muffins with the Minister" at a new church.

Over muffins (and grapes I might add...)

I learned things like the difference between “orthodoxy” and “orthopraxy,” how religion spread across the American frontier, and why perhaps every Wednesday afternoon before CCD class we had orange drink and cheese puffs--the Catholic church does not rely on shared governance when determining matters inside the church body (I would've voted for a cookie!).

Perhaps this is why I never really asked further after the “swishy-legged” nun.

I’ve told the story before but it basically goes like this…

I was 16 paralyzed from the neck down when the “swishy-legged” nun walked in “swish-swish-swish” to my darkened ICU room. I could hear her panty hose as she waddled up beside me and smiled down with a kind grandmotherly face. I cried, "Why did this happen?" I apologized for whatever sins I might have done…sometimes I am mean to my brother…sometimes I like to act like a big shot…I mean sometimes I showoff in sports…

I cried, “Does God care?”

The nun responded,

Yes God cared. He was in fact there (at the scene of the accident). God was sitting atop a very tall building and he yelled down "I care for you Amanda!" but he was too far away so I couldn’t hear him...

What? This makes no sense!

Now almost 20 years later, I still couldn’t hear him but listening to Pastor Holly’s talk I thought I’d try again. After “Muffins with the Minister,” I asked for an individual meeting to get a Christian perspective on why this (a spinal cord injury) happened.

Well, my meeting with Pastor Holly did not go as expected. As is the way of today's on-the-go culture, we met at a Panera Bread and shared a Pepsi. If there's one thing I took away from the talk, it's this Pastor Holly has run a marathon and has an interesting way of eating an apple...(okay, that's two...)

As we sat outside at a table next to a busy side street, I watched as she pulled a plump red apple and a kitchen knife from her purse. Pastor Holly is a down home girl from Texas. There's a refreshing candor and earnestness when she listens and a pfffft (finger!) to the world when she gets down to business. Still, I was caught a little off guard as she deftly sliced her apple and tossed the seeds, peel, and fleshy extras over the iron gate...right onto the sidewalk!

I was ready to ask the big question “why did this happen?” (in Christian terms) when our conversation took an abrupt turn. “I really don’t know what to tell you (about your injury).” The gist of her reply was random, permanent debilitation yep, that’s a tough one.

A week later our discussion with my reservations and permission, ended up in the morning's sermon. Very strange to hear some of the most intimate details of your life shared so publicly. Thankfully, the sermon was long and my story served as an illustrative point not the main message. I'm not sure anyone in the congregation realized Holly was speaking about me and I'd like to keep it that way.

I think a common theme we share in our stories (yours maybe in coming out; mine mostly with adjusting to SCI) is suffering. I went to the Adult Education class after Pastor Holly’s sermon and a professor of theology spoke on this topic. Bob Mesle of Graceland University is talking about suffering in a way I've never heard it before and it really resonated with me.

Basically he says

When people are in pain (here we're talking emotional/spiritual) it hurts more if it feels meaningless. Therefore we can expect people in pain to look for meaning in it.

As spiritual seekers, we take two main Paths. The first is to look for the hidden meaning in suffering saying what happened is not really bad after all, because everything that happens to us is really God's will and therefore good. Using this logic I would say, I'm glad my spinal cord injury happened because "everything happens for a reason" and the lessons I've learned from it outweigh any of the problems or negatives.

Yesterday as I sat in line haggling with the Costco Pharmacist about trying to find my bulk order of Fleet, “Liquid suppositories!” I had to say. “Could you please go check on them in the back!” I had to wholeheartedly reject this conclusion.

The other path (WHICH I THINK IS MORE HEALTHY AND REALISTIC) is to acknowledge that bad things happen to good people (things God did not intend or predetermine) and what we CAN DO is create whatever good we can out of what is left.

This is the path I am choosing.

I know with a spinal cord injury I will never get an answer to the BIG why question. I believe there is no solace in continuing to look for the hidden meaning in religious leaders they aren’t really our faith, just humans with struggles like us.

Instead, I’d rather focus on new beginnings, what’s left in the life before us. In this way, I can live today taking comfort in joy and whatever good there is left.

And there is plenty…I found it today.

Across the crowded mall, I saw her. Her eyes lit up like the sparkling Christmas lights all around. With her one strong arm she waved and beckoned me forward. With her one strong leg she scooted her wheelchair my way. I didn’t know this beautiful stranger with the cotton white hair and bright red sweat suit but she knew me. Although unable to speak, when our footrests finally met her smile melted my heart and lifted me…

Yes, yes! Her eyes said. She grabbed my hand and nodded her encouragement. She nodded excitedly to my wheelchair then sat herself up straighter in hers. She shook our clasped hands “We’re doing it together! Keep going keep going!”

Yes, I promised her we are strong!

This January for me is a month of new beginnings…

So why did this, a spinal cord injury happen?

Let’s let go and together

Let’s live on!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

how to adventure through Crate and Barrel...

2010-12-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

If there's one thing I've learned about ridin' around in a wheelchair in the winter it's that it is important to look for adventure both big and small. As things like ICE scraping and grocery shopping become the main event, some of those smaller adventures can take on more significance and meaning. For example, this past weekend my mom was in town and wanted to do some of her holiday shopping at Crate and Barrel.

I've created a pictorial primer for people in wheelchairs (or anyone for that matter) on how to enhance the experience.

How to Adventure Through Crate & Barrel

Create memory games with the flatware...

Play "hide the nut" with the menorah...

Always fun, stick a spoon on your nose... (*note to my wheelie friends. when the 5th sales person asks you if you need help say "yes" can you stick this on my nose?)

Practice your quad rugby or wheelchair football moves with a GIANT pine cone...

(watch out for glitter pants)

And last...don't overlook the arts. You can create some Kleenex origami and display the rest of the contents in your pockets using cool Memo clips!

Alright, now let's get out there and do it! Many bright wishes to your holiday adventures. Happy Monday.

Amanda

what not to bring to church game night

2010-11-29T08:50:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

Getting settled in a new place is never easy...or at least that's what "they" keep telling me (i.e. whoever "they" may be). I guess this is why almost a year after moving here to Kansas this is how I found myself last Friday sitting at my first Church game night.

As the 35mph winds with gusts up to 45mph!!! set in, I decided to go against my stroooong desires to avoid the invitation in the hopeful spirit of meeting good people.

In this respect, the evening was a success. There were many nice couples there...and a nice warm place to sit. Feeling a little lost, there was one more person circling the church game table that I did not invite...my competitive 16 year old that was injured in a car accident. She is very competitive and believes in the Michael Jordan school of gaming and competition...anytime, anywhere I will take you down! GAME ON!!!

Although, I understand that all are welcome...this is noooot who you want to bring to the church game table. For example, when the player to my right wanted to delay her turn by fawning over "The Arnold's" pickled cashews...it's not right to want to reach out and slap her bowl away or yell "Come on Mrs. Mauch! game on!" or chant "BOOOOR-ING!!!"

Anyway, what I'm trying to say or encourage is for anyone like me who feels socially awkward to get out there and do it!

I think being social is the hardest easiest thing to do...

So, quickly checking my invitation...

For my first bit of advice, here are 5 games NOT to Bring to Church Game Night

(*note- the host's invitation may encourage you to bring ANY game you'd like. Do NOT listen!).

1. Battleship- Although still one of America's most popular games. A little isolating to have only 2 players. The object is also very anti-Jesus. If you must, try "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!" instead of "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!"

2. RISK!- Leave the dust on this old classic. Not a good idea to show up announcing your desires for war and world domination.

3. Operation

Zap it!!! Never a good idea to surround yourself with a group of strangers, tiny forceps and a nude character.

4. Twister or strip twister- Remember you will probably be with adults who probably have not been drinking. There will probably also be a wheelchair user or two...who does not want to be the designated all-time spinner.

5. Trivial Pursuit Bible edition- Simply stay away from whoever has brought this game. This is not a time to display for everyone how much you do not know about your Bible. Nor do you want them to see the surprised look on your face when someone says "Bible study..."

Alrightee, hope this helps.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Top 10 Suggestions for Giving Gifts to People with Paralysis

2010-11-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

Last week I shared an alternative Christmas story, this week I thought I'd provide a slightly different take on another holiday tradition--GIFT GIVING!!!

Top 10 Suggestions for Giving Gifts to People with Paralysis

1. Don’t ask them to go try it on for you. This is the opposite spirit of gift giving because you now are asking them to do a workout.

2. Realize that the hug is optional. A simple nod, thumbs up or fist bump can hold just as much meaning and appreciation and is much easier on the balance muscles.

3. Have a little organization to the photo ops. After wassailing and feasting, it never hurts to get up and move some furniture around. Let the one with the least mobility choose where they would like to stand or sit then others fill in accordingly. *Caution try to avoid the disability Santa effect. This is the tendency for the disabled person to be in the center of EVERY photo...

4. Go light on the tape. Although not great for the environment, gift bags are best. I have come to enjoy the challenge of Grandma's four sided Scotch tape safety seal but I think this is rare. Remember noooobody likes having their presents opened for them.

5. Remember "Humility is the love of truth over the love of self." I think this means don’t get too excited with yourself if you come up with the perfect disability item...like... no skid slippers! when what they really want are night vision binoculars!!! It's very good to be humble in our practice of generosity.

6. Also, important, adapted technology for the home can be a bad item for anyone during the holidays, for example, the talking scale.

7. Returns are never easy but they can be a total bear if one must do this pushing a wheelchair through the howling wind of January. A good rule of thumb here is to ask yourself could I write a believable thank you note for this gift I am about to give? If the answer is NO put the item back...or down and just hand out cash.

8. Think your options through. A massage is a wonderful gift. Take a mental test drive through the facilities is it accessible? Are there qualified people there to help? A day of pampering can quickly turn into a day of weird if nude assistance arrives unexpectedly or is unfortunately required.

9. Time and attention. Never rush the disabled person. A special gift you can give is to show genuine interest in letting them tell you their story.

10. Lastly, if you need gift ideas or suggestions

5 items I love because they make my life easier

my wheelie cart
heated neck wrap (it's filled with some kind of good smelling seeds and heats in the microwave)
my Buddha bowl (ergonomically designed to fit the hand and easy to carry)
slip on shoe trackers (excellent over snow and ice)
my iPod

okay, Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving too!!! Travel safe.
p.p.s. One last thought. Help set all doodads and gadgetry before leaving! this includes anything with buttons smaller than a thimble.

meeting with Pastor Holly update...

2010-11-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

Well, my meeting with Pastor Holly went quite well even if the outcome was not expected. As is the way of today's on-the-go culture, we met at a Panera Breads and shared a Pepsi. If there's one thing I took away from the talk, it's this Pastor Holly has run a marathon and has an interesting way of eating an apple...(okay, that's two...)

As we sat outside at a table next to a busy side street, I watched as she pulled a plump red apple and a kitchen knife from her purse. I would describe Holly as a down home girl from Texas. There's a refreshing candor and earnestness when she listens and a pfffft (finger!) to the world when she gets down to business. Still, I was caught a little off guard as she deftly sliced her apple and tossed the seeds, peel, and fleshy extras over the iron gate...right onto the grass!

Our discussion with my reservations and permission, ended up in yesterday morning's sermon. Very strange to hear some of the most intimate details of your life shared so publicly. Thankfully the sermon was long and my story served as an illustrative point not the main message. I'm not sure anyone in the congregation realized Holly was speaking about me and I'd like to keep it that way.

So...

As a far more interesting side note, I'd like to mention that the choir had a soloist this week--a tremendous woman of spirit who goes for the high HIGH note at the end of every song. Finally, standing apart from her peers...a six-foot tall, gray hair woman shaking her shoulders smiling up at the Lord in glee!!!

I thought, well alright then... : ). Let's celebrate her. I witnessed after the service her JOY as she continued singing down the hall and on into the bathroom.

This is the kind of week I'd like for you to have.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. sorry for the lack of profundity. this topic is a large one to digest.

new meetings...

2010-11-08T08:37:00.000-08:00

Good Morning,

I've been wearing so many name tags lately I had to check myself at a house party this weekend to make sure my shirt was not already announcing Hello My Name is…Amanda : ) when meeting people.

Two weekends ago I had "Muffins with the Minister" at a new church...

Over muffins (and grapes I might add...)

I learned things like the difference between “orthodoxy” and “orthopraxy,” how new religion spread across the American frontier, and why perhaps every Wednesday afternoon before CCD class we had orange drink and cheese puffs (...snacks that turned everything orange and melted on tongue contact)--the Catholic church was not built on democracy nor does it rely on shared governance when determining matters inside the church body (my vote woulda been for a cookie and milk!).

Perhaps this is why I never really asked further after the “swishy-legged” nun. I’ve told the story before but as a refresher it basically goes like this…

I was 15 paralyzed from the neck down in a darkened ICU room when an elderly nun walked in swish-swish-swish. I could hear her panty hose as she waddled up beside me and smiled down with a kind grandmotherly face. I cried "why did this happen?" I apologized for whatever sins I might have done…sometimes I am mean to my brother…sometimes I like to act like a big shot…I mean sometimes I showoff in sports…i forged my parents signature on my take home practice sheet for my trumpet...

I cried "I'm sorry! I'm a good kid I swear!"

Feeling incredibly abandon I asked, "Does God care that this happened to me?"

The Nun's response was

Yes God cared. He was in fact there. She told me to imagine it as if God was sitting atop a very tall building and he yelled down "I care for you Amanda" but he was too far away at my accident so I couldn’t hear him...

His voice just didn’t carry that far.

Sister Swishy Legs smiled down lovingly, patted me on the shoulder and left. She returned later to offer me Communion which I could not take because I wasn’t eating at the time…I know in these words you cannot hear me so I will admit there was/is frustration in my voice.

So...

Now almost 19 years later, I thought I’d give the "Muffin Minister" Pastor Holly a shot. I am meeting with her tomorrow to discuss and ask questions.

After five good years exploring and studying Buddhism, I find myself an open and willing audience. I do not expect miracles but I would like to welcome Christianity? God? Jesus?into my life. I'm sitting down to talk with someone (i.e. a religious woman) tomorrow I admire and respect.

I guess my point is...I was raised Catholic and do not feel it is wise or virtuous to runaway from the basic roots of one’s understanding or connections to love and faith. I have a private understanding that will grow and because I think it may help others in their journeys to come to terms with difficult things I will also share some of the insights, understanding, observations and conclusions I come to…

in time.

okay, Happy Monday,

Amanda

Halloween Costume Suggestions

2010-11-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

A little change to the program this week. The "spirit" was not with me Monday morning so I thought I'd move it to Wednesday...wohoo get crazy jump around!!!

The topic I had to discuss was Halloween costumes for people in wheelchairs. While the disabled child (or adult) could essentially be anything they want, wouldn't there also be some best practices or strategies for those who want to incorporate the chair into their costume?

Indeed there are! At least from my research, I've been able to cull some of the most popular themes and offer a few of my own suggestions...

*Note while these suggestions are kid focused my advice is not limited to parents of small children. It is for adults or anyone who would like to work a wheelchair into their next holiday gathering...where there is booze. : )

Halloween Costume Suggestions...

1. Make the chair into the child’s favorite vehicle. Using a sizable box as the car frame and creative extras to add details, you can create a race car, a fire truck... For those in the "Martha Stewart advanced class" you may even try the Fred Flintstone car...the child then provides the motor and wheels. (see photo)

2. Turn the wheelchair into another mode of transportation. My absolute favorite here is the magic carpet ride.

This is also perhaps a good time to mention that it is always important to consider age appropriateness when choosing your costume...hmmm

3. Make your weakness your strength. Play to the disability theme. Go as a skier who blew out a knee…a gassed tri-athlete needing wheelchair medical assistance, a motorcross racer who did not land the jump. Popular now for the boys might be Brett Favre (a 41 yr. old and often injured NFL quarterback) who most recently has been seen being driven off the field on a motorized medical cart.

4. Look for famous historical figures who have been notable wheelchair users.

Former president Franklin Delano Roosevelt is a good one. You could also perhaps institute this presidential theme and be Abraham Lincoln sitting on his "throne" in the Lincoln Memorial.

5. Look to current pop culture for entertainment stars and celebrities you might like to celebrate. For example, the young man in Glee- nerdy Glee club member Artie Abrams or disability rights advocate Lady Gaga???

6. Go as any occupation where you are synonymous with your work instrument. For example, a TV news anchor, a sports analyst...this is what I've chosen. A welcome addition I'm sure to the ESPN College Game Day crew.

7. Okay, and lastly in keeping with this theme. Go as a statement of curiosity. Go as Dwayne Wade (a megastar NBA basketball player) in a wheelchair after a shoulder dislocation...You don't even have to shrug your shoulders to try to explain. Just be cool.

Alright, hope you are having a Happy Monday kind of week,

Amanda

taking on devastating hits

2010-10-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

On October 16, Rutgers University offensive tackle Eric LeGrand sustained a paralyzing spinal cord injury. The very next day, in the NFL there were at least four incredibly violent head to head collisions in which players wobbled off the field with concussions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYL5ltBZZlg&feature=related
(a link to one of these hits)

Last week the sports talk world exploded with debate over the culture of football and these devastating injuries. I am a HUGE sports fan. I watch and embrace college football and the NFL as a land of giants and heroes. I've also however experienced a "devastating injury"--a spinal cord injury delivered by the deadening impact of a large white station wagon! In this regard, I'm motivated to add my voice to some of the aftermath and discussion.

I really take issue with Mike Golic a former NFL defensive tackle and host of "Mike and Mike in the Morning" on ESPN radio's indignation when posed the idea of asking defensive players to aim lower in their tackles (and not to target the defenseless receiver's head).

Golic incredulously cried, "Now you want me to take a shot at the knee? If I get hit with a concussion, I’m out for 2 weeks. If I get hit in the knee, I’m out of the league!"

It was 5 in the morning. I listened still a bit numb to what I'd heard...I thought...

Try telling this to the guy on Rutgers who just broke his neck. Ask him would you rather blow out a knee or take a shot in the head? It only takes one hit. How arrogant to suggest that life begins and ends with “the League.”

Another voice I cannot get out of my head is James Harrison's. A Pittsburgh Steeler's linebacker who delivered two of these helmet to helmet blows. In a post game interview, he made a curious distinction, "I try to hurt people not injure them."

what???

According to merriam-webster.com, hurt means- to physically harm. syn. injure. Injure means- to inflict bodily hurt...

Isn’t it harder to mentally maintain this distinction than to adjust tackling technique? I say if James has the time to consider hurt vs. injure before leaving his feet he surely has the time to drop his shoulder and extend his arms.

Changes need to be made.

For the most part, the NFL agrees and is taking action. They've stepped up enforcement of existing rules and started handing out harsher penalties and fines.

Surprisingly, Mark Schlereth a 12 year veteran of the league who's racked up 29 surgeries for multiple injuries including several concussions argued strongly against disciplinary action.

http://fifthdown.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/mark-schlereth/ (for full analysis of his screed)

A day after James Harrison received a steep $75,000 fine, Mark Schlereth went on ESPN to give a rant about the the NFL as the "national hypocrites league." I cannot remember any of his points only the thought why am I listening to this man whose nickname is "Stink?"...given to him for preferring to pee on himself rather than leave the field of play for a restroom break...which i'm sure his QB did not appreciate...

anyway...

Unfortunately, just greater enforcement of existing rules is probably not enough for real change to occur. ALL can agree the culture of the BIG HIT in football must change. This will require a change in the mentality of the NFL players.

I've given it some thought. Here are my 10 suggestions to the NFL for how this can take place.

1. Stop trying to re-label these hits as "egregious" and go back to calling them devastating. That’s really more encompassing of their potential result. Ask Eric LeGrand.

2. Put more So You Think You Can Dance dancers on Gatorade bottles!

+ = Athlete!

...expanding players' idea of athlete and what's cool. (okay maaaybe not...)

3. Try embarrassment. Stick a big testicle sticker on the player's helmet for each of the devastating hits he makes.

4. Unleash the injured player's mother on the offending tackler.

5. Have a repeat offender spend the day with Muhammad Ali reading him his books and helping him pen his autobiography.

6. Send the offending player to Spain to take part in the running of the bulls.

7. Issue everyone a single bar kicker's helmet. I don't know how anyone feels menacing in this.

Lastly 8,9...try a few cosmetic changes to the field: let the grass grow knee high and put out some orange barrels. This slows traffic waaay down EVERYWHERE...

AND if all else fails...

10. Allow every team to sign at least one unicorn at wide receiver.

Coming to blows with a pointy horn should do it.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

fashion statement...

2010-10-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I have a problem. I have the unique opportunity to get involved with a group of women who are developing an on-line community for women with disabilities. I’m not sure my role yet with mobilewomen.org but I am on-board! As I’ve been perusing the site, I’ve noticed something others might have missed…but you as my friends, family, and loyal readers would know. I am not very “girly.”

I'm hoping the editors let me bring my own sense of quirky style and humor to disability, beauty, and fashion…this morning I thought I'd take a stab at it.

My first piece of advice. Scuff your shoes up a bit.

One of the most depressing realizations in my recovery occurred when I looked around the rehabilitation hospital’s therapy gym. Thanks to the department stores generous buy and return policy, I had just been fitted with a new pair of sporty looking tennis shoes…

As I looked around at the other patients lying on the mats, it occurred to me. We are not bonded by age, ethnicity, injury, will to succeed…but by the simple fact that we all have white shoes. I mean really white, glow in the dark teeth bleaching white.

Just because you’re not going around tromping through puddles or walking the streets does not mean you want your tennis shoes to yellow with age. Ask a good friend whose hygiene you trust to go for a walk in them a couple times or if you’d rather give them to your service dog and ask her to bury them and bring them back.

After this, find a good hoodie- The hoodie wear for the most part gets overplayed but it is a wardrobe essential.

Number three? Get a hat.

Chances are good that someone else is doing your hair. There is no guarantee that they are having a good day or that they have taken all of their medication. I had a certain routine down that involved a little bit of mousse, a little bit of blow drying…that was pretty much it. After my accident, I sat and watched as various care-givers played beauty shop nervously on my head. Making their task more difficult, I had a halo vest they had to work around. The result was always some approximation of what I would have done but…some sort of follicular sensory memory on the scalp would tell me this is just not right! That layer belongs over here!

A good hat allows you to correct these mistakes. It leaves only an inch or two sticking out to create your stylish look and once removed throws you into the mix with everyone else experiencing fun and creative hat hair.

Number 4. Keep the food dribble off the hoodie. Simply put keep your clothes clean and practice good hygiene.

Five?

Designer socks. It may be that your foot is misshapen and will not fit into a shoe and yet you know about the backlash against those “cripples” who just wear socks. This issue has been debated recently on the Ouch Talk Show. Click here to find more on the shoe vs. no shoes debate. http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/podcast/ouch_talk_show_56_-_early_october_2010.shtml

In this instance, where you really must go shoeless, I’d recommend something in between. You know like this...a sock that looks like a shoe : )

No really, if there is one piece of advice I could give to any woman in any fashion situation it’s this...

Number six- Do not show up in just your bikini for adaptive swim class.

I once watched as a young woman showed up at the check-in desk in just her bikini in her power chair…She wore goggles, flipper fins, a two-piece and an attitude that said I’M HERE!

The front desk worker, teased and snickered at her co-worker. “Uh John your 10 o’clock appointment is here.” The two shared looks and giggles all the while I stood by helplessly feeling like “disability cop.” I wanted to throw myself around her like a blanket. Equally, I wanted to punch the big kid/teen bullies in the nose for their laughing.

So, in selecting your swim suit here’s what I’d recommend: don’t let the suit be what attracts attention to you but rather the attitude and life you give to it. If you want to present confident, secure wear a simple cover up.

Number 7- This is not a good look. photo of self in high boots.

Number 8- Take a firm stance on kitty apparel (...and Christmas sweaters). I was reminded last week of the "ageless" way strangers approach someone walking with a cane or in a wheelchair. As I made my way to the checkout counter at Quik Trip (the gas station) with my fountain drink, a woman with arms full of "booty" stopped me repeatedly with a well-practiced phrase "Can I help you sweetie?" and "Let me get that for you baby doll." More confused than grateful I let her walk me to the counter... then my car. Clearly I thought this woman thinks I'm twelve. I nodded and thanked her for her heroic efforts as finally the basis of her good deed was revealed, "I have a son like you" she said. She then continued to mother me asking where I lived and if I had someone waiting at home to help me carry in my purchases...

okay, my point? all I can think about now is this woman's poor son who she might dress up like a baby doll. dressing him in a way that reflects her cares and interests in the world. Before this happens in your world...

I think it's wise to explore your personal style and set boundaries and limits to what you'd like to wear.

For Number 9- I borrow from Wendy Crawford, founding and managing editor of mobilewomen.org who also happens to be an experienced fashion model. Number 9!!!!... Don’t accessorize your chair with stuffed animals, fuzzy dice or balloons. Instead, redirect the focus and accessorize you! By adding one great piece like a colorful scarf, interesting earrings or necklace (there are so many beautiful yet affordable pieces right now), you can completely transform a basic outfit without spending much.

what i think this means is: Make the statement don’t be the statement or curiosity.

And lastly, Number 10-Don't drop the ball at the gym. I'm not a public nude person but am always amazed by the number who are. At the gym, there's always a nude conversationalist in the locker room targeting disabled people. I've found the older nude woman walking around in the locker room...fresh out of the showers to be very friendly but extremely difficult to talk to...model for her and everyone good fitness attire. Try wearing a t-shirt and fingertip length shorts, a simple white towel wrap will make a fine dress and smart fashion statement after you hit the showers too.

Alright. Hope this helps.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Stevie Wonder's song for literacy

2010-10-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

Stevie Wonder.

I love this man.

knowing you can always count on Stevie…for sure that’s what friends are for : )

Recently, he has been caught employing a unique strong arm tactic.

In lobbying the United Nations for better copyright rules for the blind, he vowed "change your ways Intellectual Committee or I am going to write a mean song on you!"

I love Stevie Wonder but I worry about his qualifications in this area “My Cherie Amour” and “I Just Called to Say I Love You” are not going to do it.

I don’t think Stevie realizes he is too nice…

“Overjoyed?”

Over time, I've been building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
I've gone much too far for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away

Or…

“Knocks Me Off My Feet?”

I don't want to bore you with my trouble
But there's something 'bout your love
that makes me weak and knocks me off my feet.

I’m afraid Stevie’s words might not pack the necessary political punch…

According to the World Health Organization, over 300 million people worldwide have significant visual impairments or blindness. With only 5% of printed material available in a readable form for the blind or visually impaired (e.g. Braille, audiobooks) that’s A LOT of people “living in darkness…” (those are Stevie’s words not mine).

In Stevie’s speech before the UN’s 184 member World Intellectual Property Organization he threatened that he’d return in one year and perform a song “about what you didn’t do!” should they not heed his call to ease up global copyright laws.

So, by the powers invested in me by the MMN I thought maybe I could help Stevie out (I mean that’s what friends are for right?)

What Stevie needs I decided was to sit down with a more militant voice. Someone not afraid to stick the digit to the establishment…You know, what would happen if Stevie met with arrogant rap artist Kanye West? I got a 1st hand glimpse of lyric sheets

“Runaway” (as performed at the MTV video music awards)

http://idolator.com/5626322/kanye-west-runaway

(Stevie's edits are in bold)

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong 
You/we’ve been puttin’ up wit’ my/this sh*t just way too long
 I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most 
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast

Let’s have a toast for the windbags
Let’s have a toast for the a-holes, 
Let’s have a toast for the dumbags Every one of them that I know 
Let’s have a toast to the  turkey boss That’ll never take work off 
Baby, you got a plan Run away fast as they can…from responsibility.

No seriously, while others laugh I give him credit for having the guts to perhaps work the lyrics

“Pro-visually impaired global copyright laws” into a song.

If there is anyone who can impact the course and direction of visually impaired literacy through song, Stevie can. Look at what he did in the 80's. In reaction to apartheid, he single-handedly penned, "It's Wrong" and turned South African and world sentiments on its ear. Okay maaaaybe not. I've never heard this song but it is kind of catchy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqVGyLtqQCk. and i'm sure impactful at the time.

What I'm trying to say is let's not give the guy too much razzing (unless of course the song is blatantly awful and promotes participant clapping, group hugs and swaying). Let's give it a chance and get behind the song...whatever it may be. I mean come on anyone who can dedicate "I Just Called to Say I Love You" to Nelson Mandela in prison and have it sound cool deserves our support.

Now that's cool!

Keep shining knowing you can always count on me. Happy Monday,

Amanda
Messenger for Peace : )

hidden thoughts of car purchasing

2010-10-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

(drivin's for the birds...)

Good Morning,

My head has been floating in a strange otherworldly bubble the past couple days. my car died...

my motor expired unexpectedly last week on the highway. thankfully i know very little about what happens underneath the hood of a car because it wasn't pretty...little gray puffs of smoke and by the time i had her pulled over i felt her give way beneath my white knuckle grasp

i loved the Protege 5 and will admit I cried.

so i needed a new vehicle before i O.D. on the smell of the rental car's Febreeze!!! (yuck...)

This lead me to those awkward and uncomfortable conversations this weekend with overly slick men of the USED car lot.

As i sat in the cubicle awaiting Ed to do business, i realized I had penned down my research on my negotiating sheets (the back sides of my day-by-day kitty calendar). it's a nice touch to see photos of cats saying "Do I hear the can opener?" and "Yuck! It's the wrong brand!"

while my side read

Kelley Blue Book Prices
Consumer Reports Review...gas mileage, safety records, engine
Car Fax notes- recalls, reliability

trade in values...

my mind was filled with other thoughts or questions i really wanted answers to. i've pared it down to seven you might use on your next car buying trip.

1. Given the unexpected and sudden nature of my last car's demise, I appreciate all this talk about service and Warranty but should this outlay of costs present itself again in short order...

Can I sleep in it overnight to see how it feels?

2. The car I'm interested in the Honda Fit is advertised as economical and roomy. Can we see how many balloons we can fit in it?

3. Would I like to take a test drive? Not really but i'd like to hide stuff in it and see how long it takes me to find it. That's the reeeal test.

4. What am I really looking for in a car?
Good cup holders and singing acoustics.

5. she died just after i'd just filled her up with a full tank of gas...just seems somewhere in there i should be able to recoup that cost...

6. Can i have some assurance the previous owner did not have passengers that put their sweaty feet on the dashboard?

7. Can i bring my cat over to see if she likes the ride and if it has belts to fit her Pet Taxi?

okay, that's all i have for this morning. i'm off to seal the deal! safe driving and

Happy Monday to all,

Amanda

p.s. 2008 Honda Fit Sport i'll post a picture : ) it's red!

football companion

2010-09-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

This weekend during the Fall football excitement it dawned on me not everyone asked Santa for a real football helmet every Christmas…

still I believe there are many who want to love their football fantastic loved one and share in the experience.

So...

I've started a communication primer for anyone who wants to understand the game better or perhaps even put some ease into your relationship…romantic partner, friends, your mother…whoever that fanatical fan in your life might be.

First, I thought we'd explore some common phrases in sports talk, then move on to Coaches' speak, and finally I have a few viewing tips.

Common phrases in sports talk

You are especially likely to hear these terms during pre-game shows or interviews.

“Makes plays with his feet.” What the announcer is saying is often this guy...wants to tackle...

this guy

It simply means a quarterback who is quite good at avoiding would be tacklers by running. When a play breaks down (especially on 3rd down) the quarterback who "makes plays with his feet" will improvise and often make a 1st down by...juking and jiving versus throwing the ball into the stands.

Funnily enough the player least likely to “make plays with his feet” is the slow-footed kicker.

"Avoid making turnovers"- We are not talking pastry tarts here. (cherry turnovers, apple, cinnamon…). The coaches really do not like it when anyone drops the ball or throws it to the wrong team. Turnovers are so scary because they provide a devastating shift in momentum. Kind of like the sugar crash in energy after the pastry treat.

Coaches' speak

Whether watching a TV broadcast or listening to the game on the radio you are going to hear men with loud voices (and varying degree of manners) yelling into microphones. To be fair they are responding to a stock set of questions but still you can expect to hear some of this...

"Make some plays"- These are the coaches' go to words.

He uses them before the game...

“We need to get after it on defense have some guys step up and make some plays."

after the game...

"I told our quarterback to stay within the limits of our offense…Denard? he's our leader. he can make some plays (...with his feet)."

in the off-season...

"yeah this is gonna be a big year for us...we’re not gonna out physical anybody but we got some young guys who can make some plays..."

Basically, "make some plays" is the mainstay of the coaches' verbal diet.

Other popular sentiments expressed in coaches' speak include:

"Taking it one game at a time." It's a 16 game schedule…(aka it's a marathon not a sprint) and

"ball club"- I thought we did some good things but there’s a lot we need to work on if we want to be a great "ball club." My guys know that but we’re ready to get after it and back to practice...

You should NOT hear anything about "the old fumblerooskie" but if you do check this out...

Other terms you might want to listen for and not use quite yet include:

Naked bootleg

Bump and run

Tight End

Viewing Tips

To make your viewing experience more pleasurable I suggest...

After, perhaps not during, it is okay to try to disengage your loved one from their beloved football. The technique I am about to share is a rich and powerful tool but you must use it well. Communications can really suffer and purposes backfire if used without mindfulness and practice.

Okay, let's say you want to disengage your loved one from a game ...maybe get them to go take a walk, see a movie or something...

Here's the secret. Every sport fan no matter how loyal responds to the word "unwatchable." In the sport fan "fraternity" there's an under-evolved part of back-and-forth banter in which a game is called out as boring...

"That game last night was unwatchable man."

The code of behavior here is to turn away from the slaughter.

Example: The score of the game is Chargers 688 vs. Broncos 0...

It must be delivered with mild disgust and annoyance in your brow...simply turn to your loved one and say

"honey, this game is unwatchable" ...how about we go for a walk?

don't be afraid to try it.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

my morning SIG Alert

2010-09-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

The word of the morning here is "Generosity." According to Buddha Teacher Gil, the Buddha recommended that we begin this practice with friends and family--where it is easiest to give.

so this morning i'm gonna give you all a piece of my mind!!! noooo

i thought i'd simply give one interesting thing i learned last week. hmm...

i've learned a new word. it's an acronym really...

i was sitting in my car listening to a program on a California radio station when the traffic reporter broke in and reported:

"so far so good on San Diego's freeways, no accidents, no major slowing around town, we're looking at a little bit of drizzle this morning. if you're heading into Riverside and Orange County no major delays and no SIG alerts for you..."

"SIG alert?" what the heck is a "SIG" alert? i thought as i watched the Kansas wind blow through the window, get underneath the bill of my hat and bloooow it off into the back...

Sure Is Gusty!!!!

Stinkin' It (better not be) Gone!

Anyway...in California I'm sure the SIG alert is different. Here's what I've been able to come up with I encourage you to come up with your own.

SIG Alert

S
I
G

Stop in go traffic
Smog in typically green areas
Signals out
Sun is too glarey
SUNGLASSES!!! instant glare
Stay inside garage
Stuck in ground
Sand in gears

Sorority girl on the loose...

alternatively it might have been the "CIG Alert"

CIG Alert- def. a greasy smoking road crew worker blocking traffic

See how generous I'm being? I haven't ruined your fun today by providing some old, useless, stogy definition. Come on play along...SIG!!!! What the heck could it mean for the traffic situation in California?

Okay, once you're done playing here's the rub.

"SIG"- A Sig Alert is defined by the California Highway Patrol as "any unplanned event that causes the closing of one lane of traffic for 30 minutes or more."

According to Wikipedia, the term originated when Lloyd "Sig" Sigmon began developing a solution to the growing communication problem between the 1950's news hounds and the CHP. (The cranky CHP did not want to share its bulletins). A SIG Alert is a bulletin that would go out after a scanner device picked up the police communications on a special frequency and automatically recorded it at the news agency. Apparently in the 1950's a BIG RED ALERT BUTTON would go off!!! and all would rush to see!!! Now we just use the term to control morning rush and confuse out-of-towners.

Okay, this has been your friendly and generously created train wreck of an e-mail for today.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Two wings of freedom~ resolve and relaxation

2010-09-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

So, this is something that happened in Chicago's O'Hare Airport on my return trip from visiting my parents.

There are travel guides that will warn about the size and dizzying delays of traveling through one of the world’s busiest airports…

But I had my strategy!

As my connecting flight taxied to the terminal, I grabbed the dogged ears of the in flight magazine and flipped to the diagrams in the back. I strained on the edge of my seat with my seat back in the upright to hear the flight attendant’s kitten soft voice squeak out the new departure gates.

“we are arriving at F Concourse F as in Frank…Kansas City you’re leaving out of gate C as in Charley 24...”

I checked my Terminals map…she had not made the correct call for my game of airport BINGO! I needed another F gate! Not one all the way over here in C China!

I calculated my speed and distance. I couldn’t reasonably think to get to there or make my connection if I pushed it in my chair.

I will take the shuttle! I’ve shuttled in Dallas and Atlanta. Other than the two-second sprint it takes to get on before the doors close this service isn’t bad.

The shuttle gate appeared a simple easy push on the map...

For visuals, let me just share with you, I have a strategy when I push my wheelchair too. Backpack on my lap and cane secured through a tight loop with rubber-tip stopper end sitting on the footrest. If the cane should start to fall, then I grab it with my knees!

For someone this resourceful let me just say.

United Airlines is of no help. A business run by monkeys they have no strategy.

I soon found myself staring out a window down at a shuttle bus.

A large directional sign with arrow pointing downward said TO SHUTTLE

This a mere suggestion. A creative use of signage…a thinkers thought vacation if you will. I suppose this marked a place for a people gathering to imagine stairs or manifest an elevator to take people TO the SHUTTLE.

No stairs
No down escalator
No elevator

There were not even unlatched windows so I could jump there. Don’t ask me how I’d do it in my chair…that parts not in my strategy.

There was no service to get a person in a wheelchair down to the shuttle.

(Who do these people think most need to use this service?)

Anyway

Monkeys, monkeys I tell you running this business.

So…I started grabbing anyone in a suit with a walkie-talkie. With today’s business travel and cell phone use, not as easy as it sounds to distinguish help. Eventually I found someone nearby with the right badge-a tired looking African American woman. Sleepy-eyed she kept shaking her head no to my questions or mild complaints…

“So there’s no way if you’re in a chair to take the shuttle?” I had a strategy darnit!

“What if I like crawl down the stairs and you come carrying the chair on your back after me?”

“What if I roll down the stairs, protecting my head and neck of course with my hands, and you push the chair down after me tied to a sled…”

No she wasn’t having it. Any of it…she had shaken her head in pity and wandered off to get some help.

Next a kindly stranger stepped in. a lively, snappy looking woman traveling with her mom. We had been on the previous flight together. She was fresh off having to watch her mother, an older woman with mobility issues, white knuckle repel down giant steps to get from the fuselage door to solid ground.

She was just as confused about the pseudo-service and hovered like a gentle bull-dog at my side. “I’m not leaving you until they get it right.”

The two of us managed to collar a man with a green badge and chunky antenna walkie-talkie.

As is the case in most of these situations, he called someone and promised assistance in 5 minutes. That person never came and he grabbed the next gangly looking teenager with an airport issued vest.

This young man grabbed his pager, scrolled through his assignments and looked panicked. He quickly tagged the next guy with an empty people mover chair moving swiftly by who tagged a third guy we will call Juan.

Juan now had the assignment of transporting me to my destination. Gate C24!!! I had a strategy!

“Can you get me down there I pointed to the shuttle?”

No. No. He shook his head.

“Then I need a push to gate C24.”

His eyes grew distant. He chuck-chucked and gave a far off look. “That’s a loooong way away.”

Okay so you want me to stay here? Am I supposed to pitch a tent?

Yes, I know that and if we don’t get a move on it I may be the first person in the history of Chicago’s O’Hare National Airport not to make it the full length of the airport in two hours.

Let’s go! I started to assist him with my push.

“Wait. Wait.” He said and disappeared…

Understandably he did not like my chair. I do not have sissy bars. Little handles that pop out top in the back for anyone to hold on or push.

I haven’t solved this problem yet so my only solution is to assure my escort that it is okay to push me holding atop my chair or at my shoulders.

They always state “I don’t want to hurt you” but once they get past the looks I know the reason, human touch with a stranger is awkward…

I really wish we could all get past that. Lend a sister a helping hand.

With doubtful looks, Juan returned.

Juan had disappeared because he too had had a plan. He’d called for a cart. I frowned and shook my head. No way, I’ve never needed a cart. That’s is too much assistance. Let’s go!

…and we were off again!

Sometimes just when you don’t want it to help arrives.

Juan and I intercepted his co-worker and buddy out joy-riding in the luxury-sedan of all people mover carts. His was white, with backing beep, cushion seats. It had that smooth humming cruise and silent click click of breaks and was just speedy enough to blow a little wind through your hair.

Juan determined that I couldn’t stand or transfer myself onto a seat. This cart he cluck clucked wouldn’t work. I did not argue because the rest was true. We could not fold up my wheelchair. It’s a sturdy sport frame that would not accommodate a luxury ride. For this deluxe transport, I would need to fold the wheelchair up like a bike and stick it on the carry rack.

And then…Juan found another nearby transport.

Big gray monster. Hard to described it but it best looks like a small Zamboni machine. The driver stands behind at a steering wheel with the passenger perched in wheelchair atop a four walled-flat bed platform. Juan pulled around laid down a small metal ramp with tire grip grid so I could board. The best I can describe it felt like ascending a parade float that beeps.

What does the world look like from inside the electric people mover cart? I realized as a person I am completely invisible now. No one sees me…here I am just an unfortunate obstacle or pitied person. When I looked out it wasn’t pretty.

So many seemingly insular people…yelling at each other through cell phones, wandering aimlessly or striding purposefully to our next complaint…the departure screens are too faint, this refundable ticket makes no sense, for some reason my carry on needs to be a GIANT bag of popcorn...

Juan turned at a service elevator--the slow moving kind with creaking steel cables and flickering lights. Nervously I entered--by the time we had descended one floor I had him in my strategy…a swift kick to the groin and a punch to the neck I think I could take him!

Stepping off the elevator we had traveled back in time?

Like a heard of cows wandering across the dirt road people did not heed our beeps. Come on people moooove it! Sooo slooow. I have a strategy! And you’re blocking it.

Juan drove steady and patient at the helm while i sat leaning forward (his Rose looking bold and lusty on the Titanic) leaning into the great sea.

With admirable skill and steady patience, Juan did not hit anyone. With a few polite toots and a backing beep he pulled up alongside C24, the well-peopled Kansas City gate and again lowered the little ramp.

I was not excited to become visible again but dutifully agreed to an escort down from my perch. Juan grabbed my backside. I clung to my cane and worldly possessions (my backpack). Juan tugged and we got stuck precariously on a ledge. One wheel spun awkwardly in place and I teetered a bit. I like to think I heard the crowd gasp in shock and ready for helpful participation but I “oops, careful! And whoopsied” out into a scene that included an elderly woman lying across two chairs using a newspaper as a blanket and a mother trying to entertain a young child.

I recognized this mother from our previous flight. She was traveling with her mother and two small VERY active children and had somehow managed to arrive at the next gate first!?…she had two screaming wandering children and I had a strategy!

Slowly Juan worked me down off the ledge. I thanked him and must admit gritted my teeth a little as I handed him the tip…I had a strategy! You all just defeated it.

As you read this I’m sure it is clear. I made it home. The take home in my story? I'm working on it but I think it goes like this...it's really not about getting there first. We might have a plan or strategy! but it’s really learning to relax wherever we go and enjoy the ride.

Top 10 Coming Home Curiosities

2010-08-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

The A-lo production studio has a new address, i.e., I have moved!

Please get out your address book and pencil me down. I might need to call once I forget all these numbers.

XXXXX (sorry removed address...)

In addition to the move, I've been doing a little traveling. Last week you may have noticed there was no Monday Morning News. I was in Ohio visiting my folks. Things did not go as planned. My intention to provide an encouraging update from a remote location quickly left as too much sitting on Dad's back porch sniffing citronella left me adle-brained.

so this morning what i have left are simply my "Top 10 Coming Home Curiosities." I hope you enjoy and to my family- thank you for always being the love and source i can take on this life journey...wherever it may lead.

1. The decorative trash can- There's clean and then there's reeeeally clean. I can tell you there was a note of pride in my grandfather's voice as he shared the housecleaning lady at the new assisted living apartment had taken my grandma aside and marveled "yours is the cleanest place in the building!" My father (and Judy) did not fall far from this tidy tree. It was with this same "Grandpa's" pride and a little panic that I watched as a friend who stopped by at the house to pick me up headed off to use the bathroom. There's a trashcan in there i'm afraid to use. Since I've been traveling home since adulthood, i have never seen anything in it. Any deposits are swept away at the drop of a Dixie cup...

A trash can without a liner is just unsettling...

and out walked my friend momentarily confused "um, i didn't know where to put this?"

she held an empty cardboard toilet paper roll. A clear sign that what one is facing is a decorative trash can.

2. The holy relics- Off on a sight seeing tour of my dad's boyhood home we drove through Maria Stein, Ohio...home of this country's second largest collection of holy relics. That's 1,100 items that include things like body parts from saints (usually bones) or objects that belonged to saints...

Driving past the large red bricked living quarters of the Sisters of the Precious Blood very curious to me how much i did not want to stop...

"Dad are you driving me out in the country to drop me off at the convent?"

The Sisters keep constant prayer vigil over the relics.

3. The typewriter- At the Dorothy Love Retirement Community under constant care and supervision of my grandfather, I found another holy relic...a new typewriter!!! a. I didn't know you could still buy these and b. how can a man with double-vision in one eye use this to line up his signature?

4. St. Henry did they ever think of calling the town St. Hank? St. Henry (Dad's home town) a small town that lives and breathes high school football. A quick pit stop at the gas station with all of the waves and friendly slap on the back greetings suggests "Henry" might be too formal.

more universal curiosities?...

5. Thought arisings- When stuck without wheels there's a point where this thought starts creeping into your head "I wonder how I would reaally look driving Dad’s car." It is no secret I'm not the most comfortable person behind the wheel of a car. There's no real physical reason for this...I can turn the wheel, step on the pedals...it's just like in my head i can't fully reach out and encompass the vehicle...I can't command it's dimensions in space. my athlete's sensibilities want to have precision and control over the entire car body.

so...driving a large luxury sports sedan is like getting behind the wheel of a boat...parking it like docking a biiiiig boat with no bumpers...

but about after the third day with no wheels you begin to wonder...hmm, i wonder how i'd reeaaally do behind the wheel. running errands takes on simply needing a back roads itinerary.

6. The curio cabinet. I had heard so much about a new curio cabinet. I was curious...The "curio cabinet" is a beautiful piece of wood furniture with doors and windows, filled with curious items like delicate china and Hummels...

(this is a Hummel)

7. Grandma’s Velcro shoes...very curious. I have no answers for these.

8. I learned my other Grandma does not like fish. Just curious, how many Friday Night Fish Fries did this woman suffer through during the Lenten Season?

9. The term “Okies”

It is a myth to think we have no impact or place in the world whatsoever…Overland Park, Kansas is already circled in G-ma’s atlas and Kansas curiously received a nod in the Steinbeck classic Grapes of Wrath. Dad is reading this book and noted Kansas as the starting off point for those “Okies” (Oklahomans?) the Joads as they make their journey out West.

And last...

10. How hard it is to say "I'm writing a book about my muscles!" (and life experiences) when sipping tea with your mother and a good friend at The Sanctuary for the Arts. You can check this site out if you're curious

http://www.sanctuary-for-the-arts.com/

you will probably feel inspired too but not too muscly. : )

alright, thanks for letting me workout my creative muscle this morning.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Back to School Tips

2010-08-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Good Monday,

I realized there are some people in my world right now who are experiencing "Back to School stress!!!" so I thought i'd try to help out this week with a few tips...

Back to School Tips

1. Do not get in the car with anyone whose music is louder than their engine.

2. Although I know it will be hard, try not to use Marcia Brady speak “

or groovy Greg's wardrobe

3. Do not text message anyone any of your body parts ever. Not even your doctor.

4. If your mom starts acting weird, go ahead and remind her of all the really unpleasant things you do…leave your wadded up gym socks next to (not in) the hamper, drink from the carton exclusively, have several of your loudest friends over, take forever and a day in the bathroom… this should speed up the letting go process.

5. If you want to change your name, now is the time to do it! Melanie wants to be Mel, Charlie wants to be Charles. Make good use of the roster call using your full voice. "It's not Stefani anymore it’s Lady Gaga!"

6. Hug all your friends. Tell them you love them very much and then go make one friend…in the band, on the chess team, the kid who wears a helmet (not a football helmet but one for different safety reasons). Life will be much richer when you learn to think outside your “posse.”

7. Eat breakfast every morning.

8. Do not wear sandals on gym day (I learned this from an eight-year-old)

9. Cover the basics. To be one with everything you do NOT need one of everything. Of course you will get your Trapper Keeper...some good pens, blue jeans, but try to leave some room in the shopping cart. inner peace will not come from having things...

10. Remember someday the guy you are going to school with and never talk to will be your Facebook friend writing

"I have water in my gas. What’s the best way to get it out?"

Best if you can to help him now.

11. Know where bathrooms are located. This is a tip for kindergartners but applies to us all (leave your zippers, snap leotards, and complicated jumpsuits in the drawer).

and last...

12. Remember everyone you meet is in the same boat. I will pray it is not the Titanic.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

creative solutions to a bagging problem?

2010-08-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

It always surprises me when my competitive instincts kick in...

at the grocery store the other day it happened again. as the cashier began scanning the purchases i began to try my hand at bagging...bread and perishables on top...keep eggs separate from the cans...

i experienced a simple fluidity of movement, a narrowing focus of direction and purpose to my effort that starkly contrasts my day to day...

with a heart inclined toward simplicity of mind i thought "hey i can do this!" i'd already filled out the part-time job application in my brain and acquiesced to the uniform--black pants and a white collar golf shirt.

and then the bubble burst as I realized my other duty. "Aren’t they (the baggers) responsible for bringing in all the carts?"

oops. yes this little detail of the job description i miiiight have overlooked.

Sooo...In the spirit of equal employment opportunity (EEO) this morning i've tried to answer the question

How could I get the carts in or perhaps perform an equal service?

With my personal trainer certification, I could organize and assist the work force with cart pushing training. I could organize some drills.

With my ear for rhythm, pace and sense of timing...i could sit in the cart train as it is pushed and serve as an encouraging coxswain.

With a Segway, i could go out into the parking lot and put little red flags on the carts that have blown away or could wrestle in a scraggler.

i'm willing to challenge people to use fewer carts…instead of asking "paper or plastic?" i will ask "cart or no cart?" suggesting they could go cartless out to the car

to reduce cart usage and thus eliminate this job duty description altogether, i will hold special events such as...a meet and greet with the KU Jayhawks o-line. "Push for the cure!" kids can get autographs and for every cart they push in Hy-Vee will donate a nickel to charity.

if positioned just so i can harness wind-power to do my job for me. the wind can just blow the train of carts in.

i could push the carts in using a Powerchair wheelchair with plow attachment

and last two other services i could provide.

i would be willing to head up a "paddy wagon" roundup crew to go into urban areas and sweep the streets for abused and abandon carts. i will bring them home and rehab them.

i would also be willing to organize a precision cart drill team to travel and perform in parades. in this way, help build awareness of aisle safety maneuvers and in-store etiquette.

okay, just a quick one today. sorry so scattered. stay cool!

happy monday,

amanda

10 Hot Summer Observations

2010-08-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I don't know about where you live but here it is hot Hot HOT!!! and not in a take it to the streets sexy salsa dancing kinda way.

The following are just a few observations kind of my verbal slam dance in response to the weatherman's challenge this morning "it's going to be muggy and buggy out there!!!..."

10 Hot summer observations

it’s so humid some of the road sign letters have started to drop and now the church is advertising for Vacation Bible c ool

it's so hot when i'm driving down the road and open a window it smells like a firework has gone off…i keep finding myself hunkering down as if the car is getting ready to explode

it's so stinky hot the sign no shoes, no SHIRT, no service no longer applies to just men…i sat in the car yesterday and realized it was a young woman slipping on her shirt outside the CVS pharmacy…before I go too far here, she was wearing a bikini top!

it's so hot...I watched a rain cloud form and leave

it's so hot...I read a summer safety article titled “What Drowning Really Looks Like”...hair’s wet, straight down in front of eyes…and thought well shoot that could be anyone

it's so hot and humid...I almost sat down in the hairstylist’s chair and said I want a 4 in the middle and a 2 on the sides (buzz cut)

it's so hot...i found myself lingering just outside the doors at Wal-Mart to experience a sudden drop in temperature…over and over…

it's so friggin hot...the take and bake bread was nearly done by the time i got it home.

it's so nasty hot...I could've thawed the evening meal on my head…frozen peas work as an ice pack

and last? it's so hot...

Mitty the freedom dashing kitty sprinted to the open door met the blast of heat...turned and said no way!

alright. hope you're staying cool.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Miami Heat scouting report

2010-07-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

The saying is "old news is no news" but I don't think it counts during the lazy hazy days of summer. There's a particular heat that's caught my attention over the past couple weeks and won't go away. The Miami Heat! Ever since LeBron James announced his DECISION

I've been wondering about this man...

Dexter Pittman. Dexter Pittman is the big man you heard gulp when LeBron announced "I'm taking my talents to South Beach." The implication here was that LeBron aka King James would be joining up with D. (Dwayne) Wade and Chris Bosh to form the most dominating assembly of power and skills the NBA has ever seen.

Only there was only one problem with the signing of LeBron, the Miami Heat roster consisted of roughly 5 players (...a typical NBA roster is 15). At the very moment of the King's announcement, a night before he promised six championships to an arena full of screaming fans...the starting five looked and sounded like this

INTRODUCING...MIAMI THRICE...YOUR THREE KINGS!!!

SUPERSTAR LE BRON JAMES
SUPERSTAR DWAYNE WADE
SUPERSTAR CHRIS BOSH

SOLID contributor and asset Mario Chalmers!!!

...and at center? the rookie...Dexter Pittman who did good in college.

that's some pressure. i liken it to

what if the other MJ (Michael Jackson!) had turned to his back up dancer during the middle of Billy Jean and said "okay get up here with me we're gonna do the moonwalk..."

After The DECISION, the sports media immediately broke down the unfilled roster problem offering this bit of insight

"now all the Miami Heat need are shooters and big men..."

Isn't this the definition of ANY professional basketball player?

anyway...there are more players on the Heat roster now. many of whom most folks probably have never heard of

Yakhouba Diawara, Shavik Randolph?

In a free agent frenzy, the teams general manager and president Pat Riley is shoring up the final spots on the 15 man roster. With the starters in place now, the key is finding the right guy or two who can help build team chemistry.

I have been on the horn all morning working the deals...here's who I have so far on the board. i'll be ready when "Coach Slick" (Pat Riley) calls for my suggestions

Jimmy Chitwood- from the movie Hoosiers. notable in the scene where he sank like 84 shots in a row while the camera was rolling. he's a shooter. he's the quiet type who won't need to share the spotlight. as illustrated in his total of four spoken lines

"i figure it's about time I start playing ball again."
"if coach stays i stay. if coach goes i go."
and...in the big game "I'll make it."

Greg Brady (BMOC) he's a big man...Big man on campus
he's best in the one-on-one game. he likes to back in against smaller opponents (Pete, Bobby, Cousin Oliver) and work the fiberglass. great hustle but some question his ability to handle off the court distractions like groovy chicks.

(scroll to 4:15)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp8p11YbGW4&feature=related

Air Bud. He's a shooter. although he's rumored to have some legal troubles, a great teammate who could also provide some quiet leadership to the locker room.

Michael J. Fox (Teen Wolf)- some question his maturity if he has what it takes to play at the next level but no denying he has freakish talent and tremendous upside. measured at a 108in. vertical leap. throws down with authority.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30sYk9B4OqU&feature=related

Theo Huxtable (Cosby Show)
although has never used a regulation height basket...great attitude, great hustler. knows how to play second banana to a BIG star. knows his job and thrives as a role player.

Enrique Iglesias & Anna Kornakova (suggested mid season acquisitions)
They are big fans and supporters. great for mop up time when you have wrapped up the division and are shutting it down til the playoffs. they can get the party started early before sending the crowd off to South Beach.

The Williams Sisters. Serena and Venus are part owners of the Miami Dolphins they will build off of the popularity of the NFL and provide valuable cross-promotional efforts. In particular, Venus is thought to have special sway in LeBron's game. At a speaking engagement to promote her new book Venus said she would woo him to Miami with a slide show

"I'm from Florida, so Miami certainly is the best place," Williams said. "I actually have a slide show prepared, if he wants to watch, on why." Venus also later said "LeBron James would look good in a Miami Heat uniform." the very next day? he announced his decision to join the Heat...

Gloria Estefan- who does NOT want Gloria Estefan on their team? she speaks to the large Latina/o fan base and can backup the Stars Spangled Banner singer in a pinch.

Alright, that's all I have for now. Keeping it cool in Kansas. Hope you are staying cool where you are.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

it's never too late for a soccer date...

2010-07-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I hope you had a wonderful 4th. I of course celebrated by watching Valentine's Day (a romantic-comedy movie)...like a all good Americans I am as confused about my holidays as I am about my sports...

soccer is futbol
football actually has very little to do with kicking...

There are two important soccer (i.e. futbol) matches in South Africa today and tomorrow. In this vein, I thought I would continue with some tutelage for those who have expressed interest in understanding the game so they might relate better to a sporty mate.

It's Never too Late to have a Soccer Date 101

Off-sides. This is usually what all the yelling and finger pointing is about...
It is a penalty call indicating the offense has had an unfair advantage.

When the offensive player positions themselves behind the last defender so there is no one between them and the goalie before the ball is passed...He (or she) is OFF-SIDES!!! The voracity of the yelling you hear coming out of your soccer person is because it's all about timing. To engage him or her in dialog at this moment you might try turning and saying "yes, dear we really need to look at when the ball was passed" or you might try nodding in agreement "yes, that was a highly subjective call." No worries ESPN/ABC will provide replay graphics with enhancements to help settle things.

Flopping. Gives soccer a bad wrap. It is why you might have heard soccer called a "sissy sport." Often players will fake phantom injuries to draw the refs attention and hopefully a penalty on the other team. Typically, flopping is seen at the highest levels of competition where it is considered poor sportsmanship to be expected. To everyone else it’s still confusing...

This is why I have uncovered a little piece of audio.

http://vimeo.com/13128863

I've boiled it down to one simple rule you can share in these moments with your soccer person.

"yes, dear that's bad acting. i believe if you get hit in the stomach hold your stomach. if you get hit in the face, hold your face."

or...if this is all too much try making up your own rule. the "Kaka rule"

just throw up your hands and say this's absolutely ridiculous Kaka!"

alright. have fun. let the games begin!

Have a Terrific Tuesday,

Amanda

staying positive...can be an adventure

2010-06-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I saw an interesting sign this weekend...

The Pioneer Ridge Retirement Community now offers programs such as Assisted Living and the new "Rapid Recovery" physical therapy...

"Rapid Recovery" at a retirement community?

Isn't it more like just keep pluggin’ along you’ll get there?…anyway

I’ve been a little down.

It seems a seemingly unretrainable part of my brain wants to be enjoying summer's playground a little more...running through the waves, hiking up trails, getting my cycle ready for the Tour de France! (okay, I'd settle for the Tour de Lawrence...).

I think this is the same part of my brain that when driving home from the Farmer's Market this weekend said let's keep going! I am not ready to go home yet! And with the AC (air conditioner) chugging along we hit the open road looking for adventure...in Kansas.

When did this start happening? The quirky determination to look for the positive?

It must have been when I asked the swishy-legged nun--“swishy-legged” because that’s all I knew of her--she wore heavy nylons that swished when she entered my hospital room.

I asked her the tough questions…Did God care? If I’m “God’s child” did he know this had happened? (*note to new reader. i could breath and move my biceps a little. that was pretty much it. oh, and i was 16yrs.)

She told me “yes” and that “he was sad.”

I pushed it a little further. "Then why didn’t he stop it? He’s God. He can do anything…"

She smiled down cherubically, patted my shoulder and said,

“because it’s like this…God was there. He was sitting atop a very tall building yelling down to you during your accident ‘I care Amanda!’ but he was too far away you couldn’t hear him.”

This was the exact moment I stopped believing in GOD.

(I still do not know what she meant...)

and started looking for god in the small fun things like nuns in swishy panty hose.

I admit to days where I still struggle with the "why" question but for the most part it helps me if I believe "God never promised me a Rose Garden." I can appreciate the joy of finding a life littered with new adventures!

I thought you might enjoy seeing what awaited on campus at Kansas State University...

KSU Insect Zoo from Amanda Vallo on Vimeo.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

5 Things I Learned at Nebraska Summer Writers' Camp

2010-06-21T09:25:00.001-07:00

Good Morning,

I am back from my week at the Nebraska Summer Writers’ Conference. There were a number of other activities (camps, conferences, workshops) on campus for the week so I was surprised when a nice worker at the dining hall asked “So what do you people do at a writers’ conference?” She was holding a pencil with a big fat eraser and an unfinished crossword in one hand and a scanner for my meal ticket in the other. I took great pleasure in informing her that “some of us write…or we sit in class and do crossword puzzles.”

I thought you might like to know what I was doing when not doing crossword puzzles...

5 Things I Learned at the Nebraska Summer Writers’ Conference

when one person decides to have ice cream everyone has ice cream!

As mentioned, there were many camps and “kid” activities on campus last week. We all shared the same dining hall and had the same lunch/dinner hours. A cheeseburger with a side of pizza topped with onion rings the typical plate, the one staple in EVERYONE’S diet a trip over to the soft serve ice cream machine (I scream YOU scream we all SCREAM for ice cream!)! A few nights my timing was off and I arrived at the smokin’ machine just as let’s say the volleyball camp arrived. If you saw one knee padded pony tailer wandering over there…you must wheel FAST!!!...before the other 50 arrived.

there’s a type of arrogance that even if it’s true it's annoying

Benjamin Percy. There’s a type of arrogance that even if it’s true is annoying. In a room full of writers eager to learn creative non-fiction, it’s a bit off-putting to hear him refer to his personal relationship with an Esquire editor "I call him up and say what's up asshole?"…his attitude toward non-fiction writing as “it’s mercenary" or to hear “nonfiction? that’s my Big Mac at McDonald’s job…"

culture shock...

There are 5 stages of cultural shock felt by people who have to operate in a different and unknown culture such as when a young American beat reporter takes on a long assignment in Mumbai (India). Closer to home, I’m pretty sure a similar phenomenon can occur in a week when the “athlete” sits in a classroom full of other writers…

In the beginning, there were encounters that struck me as strange and at first I experienced a formidable language barrier.

My neighbor turned and implored us all...

“You know when you’re seven you don’t want to go home and tell your parents you were picked last for the kick soccer team…”

Several agreed. I could not get past the “kick” soccer team. Who calls it “kick” soccer? All soccer is kick…By the end of the week though, we had sailed through "Negotiation" and were well on our way to enjoying conversations of the World Cup!

Go Big Red?

With the addition of Nebraska, the Big 10 now has 12 teams while the Big 12 now has 10…in the sports world the language that speaks is money.

and lastly...

you are the only one who can tell your story right now

However you do not need to repeat yourself. Sometimes it’s okay to let others do the heavy lifting (i.e. writing/speaking) for you.

When I am in blog mode, I love having the help of ESPN radio call announcers.

I’d like to conclude today with what I hope are helpful (and fun) tips to my new sporty-writer friends for watching the 2010 World Cup Kick Soccer Event.

In soccer the rules are simple. You cannot touch the ball with your hands.

Here's JP Dellacamera and Tommy Smyth with the call...(no you are not missing video. i just love the flow of the language they share : )

that's a handball... from Amanda Vallo on Vimeo.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Kickin' it with Class

2010-06-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I am coming to you from a remote location today. I am at the Nebraska Summer Writer's Conference! Before the fun starts here I thought I'd check in with you all on another matter of importance and concern--the World Cup!

The World Cup 2010 Soccer (i.e. Futbol) Tournament started this weekend in South Africa. Since I will be away from the TV for the week I thought well we all don't need to miss it...here's what to set the DVR for:

U.S.A. team's Landon Donovan- He is America's best player and looks a lot like Brian Boitano.

*factoid to drop on your soccer friend. Landon left traditional h.s. at age 15 and went to a full-time soccer academy as part of US Soccer's push to develop world class talent. Now 28 this mid-fielder has run incalculable miles.

England's Fans

England has the "Premier League." The home of the best soccer in the world. However when it comes to the World Cup the England Fan will be easy to spot--faces painted in the St. George's Cross, wringing hands, and furrowed brow. They won their first and only World Cup in 1966. It is a great source of woe and national lament that they have not won one since.

*factoid to share with your soccer friend. the U.S. tied with England (1-1) on a ball that went through the goalie's legs this weekend.

the sound of a herd of flatulent elephants

The vuvuzela- a cheap plastic noisemaking trumpet is a favorite of South Africans. South African fans blow this fog horn like instrument throughout the entire match...so you will see what it sounds like when 94,000 drunken people try to moor a boat! The overwhelming drone has also been described as sounding like a swarm of wasps or a herd of flatulent elephants.

*factoid to share with your soccer friend...over beers: Did you know an elephant fart can last a good 5 seconds?

Diego Maradona on a winning streak?

The manager (aka coach) decides the final roster for each of the the 32 national teams competing in the World Cup. There have been many eye-popping omissions. Argentinian legend and current manager Diego Maradona explained his odd roster selections this way:

Maradona answered his critics after locking up a spot in the World Cup by telling media members to "suck it and keep on sucking it."

He has also promised to streak nude if Argentina wins the World Cup (...and we will all be watching for this!)

*factoid to share with your soccer friend: Diego Maradona is looking old and a bit pudgy. I don't know if the citizens of Buenos Aires are ready for a World Cup.

and finally,

players reactions to the new ball

Adidas has provided the official 2010 World Cup match ball--The Jabulani!!! It means to celebrate or be happy. Here’s U.S. backup goalkeeper Marcus Hahneman’s review of The Jabulani:

“It’s horse----. It’s the worst soccer ball I’ve ever played with. It’s plastic. It feels like s--- when it comes off your foot. It moves like crazy. It swerves. … You can’t tell what it’s going to do.”

*factoid to share with your soccer friend: Marcus Hahneman maybe shoulda stayed home.

okay, I'm glad I didn't stay home! Time to kick it with my writing class.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

TKO Emergency Padding

2010-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

"On April 3, 1974 a “twister” measuring F-5 on the Fujita scale cut a path directly through the middle of Xenia (Ohio) killing 34 people, injuring an additional 1,150, destroying almost half of the city’s buildings..."

I was born one year later in a small town near by.

Although I have no memory of the event, I do recall the extra urgency in adults' voices, for example, my first grade teacher as she lead us into the boys' bathroom…more alarming than seeing the boys’ urinal for the first time were the instructions to kneel down against the wall, shut up! and..."everyone clasp your hands together cover and protect your neck and head!!!…"

Growing up in the wake of such a disaster, I learned to take my extreme storms seriously!

Now living in Kansas (54% chance of a tornado in any given year), I have checked with my local community resource guide for disaster preparedness planning for those with special needs…I was a little surprised by the questions:

If you absolutely had to, could you bump down the stairs on your butt?
yes.

Will you need something to strap on to protect your butt?
probably...

Have you tested this method?
???

(http://www.douglas-county.com/depts/em/preparedness/docs/pdf/mitigationplan_all.pdf *see for more planning)

...As you will see in this clip, I am prepared!

TKO Emergency Padding from Amanda Vallo on Vimeo.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a song for the men of the 151st division...and those who love them

2010-05-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

I've been sitting here this morning trying to best capture and express my deep appreciation for those who have fought in wars or died in the service to my country.

I'm a little too far away to put a flag on the grave of my Grandfather...(I know he worked on planes in Africa and was bitten by a monkey...).

I'm a little too apprehensive to call my other proud Grandfather in the assisted living center and yell into the phone THANK YOU GRANDPA I REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!

I don't think anyone would reeaally appreciate my singing You're a Grand Old Flag! (the only patriotic song I know all the words to...)

marching in a parade and playing "On Wisconsin!" on my trumpet is also out...

I'm aware that Memorial Day should really include everyone who's died in a war. You can't just celebrate the U.S. service men and women without thinking of the human cost on both sides...

when 70,000 people die instantaneously (Hiroshima) it feels wrong to me to chow down on a hot dogs and sizzle up the BBQ!

still...I want to remember and celebrate this day...

so...

My celebration today is to offer you this. A family favorite clip from the movie White Christmas both of my Grandfathers would enjoy. I say let's remember the General Waverly's we know and try to honor and respect the values they have taught us... duty, loyalty, personal courage, selfless sacrifice...

(now i'm gonna go see if i can mold and style my hair like Betty's!)

with thanks on a mindful memorial Monday,

Amanda

*1st chair trumpet emeritus Central Middle School Band

A Special Guest Post...

2010-05-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

(...from my mom)

First of all, I have to say I feel honored to be a guest contributor for the Monday Morning News. I am very proud of Amanda's dedication and her ability to write weekly, often poignant and always entertaining pieces. She's my Baby Girl and I'm gonna keep her! Ya know what I mean?

NOW, about this trip. About six weeks ago, I received a FB message in which I was asked what I would like to do and see in KC and Lawrence, along with a thorough list of possible choices. The following is my Top Ten or However Many I End Up With List. We'll start with #10...

10. Raiding Amanda's pop stash and watching her grimace when I popped one open. One less for her...heh, heh...bad mommy...heh, heh...

9. The multitude of soft down pillows on the bed, not to mention the bed itself. It made for SUCH good sleeping, not that I need any help. I could win a gold medal for sleeping if it were an Olympic category.

8. Looking at hair magazines with A. and Shan, trying to find a new "do" for Sue with A. and Shan. Sue didn't like how her hair looked in pictures. Bunch of bad hair days. Hate that.

7. Watching my grandkitty Mitty do a military low-crawl wearing her "take a walk" harness. Not only have A. and Shan not been able to take her for a walk, I don't think they've even been able to get her out the door. Mitty does not like being harnessed.

6. Watching a machine make a gift wrap bow at the Hallmark Crown Point Center museum-type place. Actually, the WHOLE place was awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoBQHk2yF00 (click for demo!)

5. The fact that the founder of Hallmark's name (...HIS name) was Joyce C. Hall. The current CEO and two other top positions are held by other "Halls" all named John.

4.Shannon is an AWESOME cook. I say, whenever I get a chance, how much I hate vegetables. Man, if Shan cooked for me, I'd eat them every day! I ate ALL my vegetables.

3. Oh, and Shan bought some cotton candy at the Crown Point "Classy Expensive I Can't Afford Anything" Mall. I hadn't had cotton candy since A. and her brother were little things. Ahhhhh.

2. I had the BEST ever cinnamon roll when A. and I went to a restaurant for which I cannot remember the name. It was huge (I'd say 3 cubic inches?) and I ate the ENTIRE thing. Of course, I was with Amanda and we talked, shared and tried to get caught up on each other's insides, so maybe I didn't even realize I was eating the whole thing. Although I'm pretty sure my mouth knew it. In fact, it's reminding me. Salivating now.

1. My VERY favorite part of the trip was Thursday evening when A. and I were watching the Michael Jackson This Is It movie. Amanda put her head on a pillow on my lap and let me play with her hair. We used to do that a lot. That is definitely the #1 on my list. That is so It.

Amanda is asleep next to me as I write. I miss her already. I always miss her. but right now I miss her more than ever.

(Happy Monday)

Life Would Be Perfect If...

2010-05-17T07:37:00.001-07:00

Good Morning,

I recently participated in a Twitter uh Tweet thread to complete the phrase "Life Would Be Perfect If..."

The original source was Meghan Daum. The prompt an open invitation to her followers to help promote her new book...

whoa to the eager fan and novice Tweeter. In the "whoops!" of a keyboard click, I conveyed to an audience of one (Meghan Daum) or the tech savvy listening audience of NPR's Morning Edition that I have an upstairs neighbor who wears ski boots.

(#Life Would be Perfect if...@Meghan_Daum...My upstairs neighbor went on a very long summer vacation! Right now i think she is doing aerobics in ski boots!)

anyway

I think the reason for my eager excitement was that in four weeks I will be attending a writers conference and taking a week long nonfiction writing course with Meghan Daum.

I feel the need to prepare for such things so this morning, I thought I'd write a book review.

Alo Book Review

"Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived in That House"

I was very worried that this book would be hard to read. As a non-home owner, I grit my teeth at the very thought of watching HGTV or stopping by my apartment rental office to inquire about upgrading to the new "Serenity" model...a more spacious floor plan. Much to my surprise, within the first few pages of "Life Would be Perfect If..."

I did not need my "zero-depth lagoon style pool" or "large garden tub" (perks of the luxury apartment community) to douse my disappointment.

…in the first few pages instead of conversation as deep as a newly rolled wall paper I found MD's intelligent, incredibly honest self-exploration into her real-estate obsession.

She takes her reader on the journey from her multiple moves through childhood, to her

"I majored in moving" college years at Vassar, the rent challenged apartment years that come with an entry level writing job in NYC, and as an adult her ping pong moves across the country between farm houses in Nebraska and L.A.

Life Would be Perfect If…I Lived in That House?

MD's assertion becomes a question as she slips into the craziness of the real-estate game (in L.A. California in the early 00's). She finds that she no longer functions in her daily life. Her writing, reading, and social life have slowed to a trickle...she wants a house more than she wants a boyfriend.

(While I believe even for the apartment renter..."crown molding" or a "spacious sunroom" could go a long way...)

The cool factor of this book is in the deeper message.

It can be found in MD's inner often witty musings.

...In a description she provides for a catalog clothing company called "Soft Surroundings..."

pp. 197

There was one particular ballet top that I liked so much I purchased it in six different colors. I also ordered a long, embroidered jacket with a Japanese-style collar that was entirely too big for me even in extra small (one of the seductions of the catalog is self-delusion engendered by its enormous sizes) and, I later realized, made me look like the “artsy grandma” on a Lipotor commercial.

The message seems clear. We are hardwired to search for authenticity in our inner and outer lives.

anyway...

In 2004, 36-year-old single woman with a dog MD purchases her first home. The remainder of the book is spent with MD against all prior wisdom meeting a man and answering the question...Life would be perfect if i lived in that house?

No it wouldn’t MD concludes but it’s worth looking at what’s going on with ourselves in the process.

In MD's case the perfect house and the perfect man provided overcrowding and a little space to think again. Her final lesson arrived at...It's not finding the home that makes us whole it's letting it be...

Would I recommend this book? Yes, with a few simple reservations.

At times it seemed MD is making the blanket assumption that everyone was crazy-eyed or talking home ownership in the early 00's (or at least held interest in rental properties).

At a similar age, i have not experienced this yet. i hold in my hand seven brochures for luxury apartment communities and still have no memories that living in Runaway Bay or having a "Serenity" floor plan will bring me any...i can only recall memories that this (acquiring housing) is no fun.

This one is minor. The next one is a biggie for me. The heart of this book, MD's first home purchase took place in 2004. This unfortunately was also the time of the Indian Ocean Tsunami where over 200,000 people died...many from inadequate shelter. I think this book is best for those whose dreams are still intact. This book is for someone who is a least able to think middle class.

Happy Monday, (okay i might have to leave those last two points off if she asks at the conference)

Amanda