Morning Dad

Good Morning,

I had a very adult weekend. I received my first speeding ticket, I traveled to Indianapolis to meet new friends, and I realized my parents have probably "done it" more than twice (brother, me).

Friday night I stayed at my dad’s as a midway point between Columbus and Indy.

Friday night is date night for Dad and Judy (his girlfriend)…

She drives up from her home in Centerville, parks her car in the garage and off they go…dinner, dancing or a concert someone read about in the GO section. (the GO section, the local newspaper entertainment section).

This weekend I stood and watched Dad flit around the kitchen in tippy-tap shoes (tip tap, tip tap, tip, tap) tidying and straightening in a mad rush. He was late in getting home from work and in only 10min. Judy would arrive!

Ding dong! She arrived 5min early!

So I dumped my load of dirty laundry on the floor and said “I’ll get it!”

Dad quickstepped his way to the bathroom.

Judy received a smiley welcome as I stumbled a little and banged into the glass door.

She was just looking so cute in her white and pink stripped sweater top and complimenting fitted white jacket, I had to hug her in my grubby possibly smelly Auburn sweatshirt.

…then I sent the kids off on their date.

In preparation for the early morning drive to Indy, I called it an early night.

I left a note out for Dad, "I don’t have an alarm could you please wake me up at 6am?...

Thank you.

Love,

Amanda

I drifted off to sleep with a comfort and peace I hadn’t felt in awhile.

I woke up around midnight. As I made my way in the dark toward the restroom, I heard the clinking of glasses and laughter amidst playful conversation in the dimmer switched living room…

How nice I thought they’re keeping it down for me. Muddle brained I returned to bed and fell into the deep dark disoriented sleep you can only get when sleeping in your childhood bedroom.

(my room has been left mostly untouched since high school except it now houses all dad’s books, i like the clean feel to it. i dislike the feel I get when I see highlighter stains on the comforter/bedspread).

I awoke at 6am with someone gently poking me through a mess of covers in the lower back. i guess Dad has since my last visit forgotten how to wake his daughter. He forgot that using words is a common waking method. There was just someone roughly outlined in the dark poking me in the lower back.

"okay, thank you. i'm up."

In about an hour, i was ready to leave.

"Morning Dad" stood and watched as i readied my bag for my day-trip. he asked dad questions,

"what are you doing again?"

Try explaining at 7am, a podcast and the community of friends built through the Internet to a man with a dial-up connection and Wal-Mart e-mail account.

"I'm going to meet some very good and interesting people i met through the Internet."

He looked confused and might have said something but all i could hear, think or see was how much i love "Morning Dad."

Dad wears tippy-tap shoes, crease-lined tan slacks, and collared shirts tucked and pressed...

Morning Dad has...hair stuck to his head, a sprout or two doin the rooster at the cowlick, long, baggy pj bottoms, and the UA (under armor) T.O. shirt...

i looked down as i readied my pack and grabbed my cane. "Hey dad, look Judy forgot her shoes."

"She’s still here…"

on my behalf 1. she did not arrive at the door with her little knapsack 2. it was very early, 3. everybody goes a foul of the law sometime. i bet she drives barefoot!

Our eyes met.

We both looked at each other each embarking on our new adventures.

There was a searching look, smiles, and a nod of recognition.

Another moment passed and we understood each other perfectly.

okay yeah, we don't want to know...


Happy Monday,

Amanda
bad citizen, clocked at 67mph in the 55

serious health or fashion risks

Good Morning,

Recently, I sat listening to my Buddha teacher Gil as he taught a meditation class to a room full of people new to meditation. He started fielding questions from the beginners when...

One woman with an edge to her voice said, basically, hey you little weasel why don’t you grow a pair and come down off your little Zen cushion! If you’re offering yourself as an expert in this meditation business, why don’t you give us something we can use like YOUR story!

He had one minute left in the class to tell her his story and the lessons he's learned in his 30 year history with Vipassana & Zen Buddhism.

He then pulled out the most masterful tool in the master teacher's toolbelt...he turned it back to her!

(oh this should be good)

If I may, can I show you how this works? He said...

"I'd like to, if i may, turn it around a bit and the question here might be to ask yourself what inside you makes it so you feel [right now] you need to ask this question?"

She was livid. Above the murmur you could hear the barely restrained anger in her voice…"SEE YOU AREN’T EVEN ANSWERING MY QUESTION!

Your avoidance proves to me your ignorance on this topic!"

waoh...when i asked Gil what this was all about!???? what do i do if someone ever attacks my credibility like that?...he told me i should breathe...

i don't think he's ever wanted to be a personal trainer.

I did not write "The Book on Personal Training" but I am reading it. i have a goal to become certified as a personal trainer putting my years of dedication and practice to a better use.

Not surprisingly i'm finding "The Book" was not written for scholars. After you get through the basic building block chapters (muscle anatomy and physiology) the rest is pretty much common sense.

"The Book on Personal Training" says it's important to identify and stratify potential clients. says it's good for business.

I've been lookin around...i say that's a bit harsh. most people walk through the gym doors a little self-conscious about the "junk in the trunk" already. they don't need trainer's walking around with the FAT stamp or VERY OBESE!!!

okay, anyway here's my list of potential clients so far. i've chosen to classify based on serious health or fashion risks...(and to practice what i might say : )

client 1- the guy who keeps giving himself a wedgie

solution: it's important not to have the fitness short stuck in the butt. Consider switching from cotton (which might cause chaffing) to a lycra-cotton blend. this will be more slippery and hopefully not get stuck as bad. you might also consider wearing underwear.

client 2-anyone wandering aimlessly in black socks and white tennis shoes

solution: Make sure the color of your socks does not match the color of your fanny packs or lifting gloves. Lifting gloves come most often in black, i've also seen them in blue, green, red and on occasion pink (...with socks to match). let's avoid this.

client 3: Dear elderly Asian man...

Long sleeve button up shirts and sweats pants is an okay look for the hospital but perhaps a little too formal for the gym

solution: Along with any medications you are taking please bring your fitness clothes to your first meeting with the trainer. set goals to determine when you should be wearing them.

client 4 Fabulous and 40’s –women in tight fitting leotards…you are liberated and happy with yourselves or just do not care...fabulous

solution: Along with any medications you are taking please bring your fitness clothes to your first meeting with the trainer. set goals to determine when you should be wearing them.

client 5: Misfit people like me...e.g., always wearing the same old sweatshirt

solution: patience. Auburn sweatshirts are always okay to wear.

sorry so long and rambling today.

Happy Monday

Amanda

on the job or i have occupational daydreams!

Good Morning,

I want you to think back to when you were a child and then to write down any careers or jobs that you've ever thought about doing…don’t worry about skills or abilities just write down anything that's ever sounded interesting to you.

I give these instructions when administering tests to people at my job.

(I’m sometimes bored. My Buddha teacher Gil says this is okay…I’m supposed to breathe and investigate the boredom…

I don’t think he’s ever administered tests or been this bored).

I work for a small company that helps people with disabilities find employment.

Last week here’s what one young woman wrote down in her booklet to the above prompt.

"Occupational Daydreams"

There is pencil coloring in the white spaces of the
big block letters…

Wal-Mart
Meijer
K-Mart
Policeman
Fire apartment (an arsonist?...Is she setting fires to the apartment?)

I do intakes and assessments with new clients. Mom had come to the intake interview with this young woman that day and provided the following information

Current employment? Sitting around lazy at home

(okay, thank you. we ‘ll have to work that into the resume)

as you can see we disabled people tend to have more leisure in our day so…it’s also important to ask about

Leisure activity:

Spare time: read, coloring
Television: cartoons, racing-NASCAR
Reading: Romance novels

Yes, this is how I spend my time too. : )

We disabled people are not a homogeneous group we are:

(i.e., other unaltered responses to "Occupational Daydreams")

pilote (flying planes)
hemptologist ...and there’s probably even a
herpetoligist or two

…hemp and herpes the Adam & Eve of all good minority groups

I have a favorite word on the reading test. I hand them a laminated card with a list of words on it and ask that they read it back to me slowly. My favorite word is “assuage”

I sit readied at the edge of my seat as one time a surly young man read it back “ass usage.”

It’s not all about me. There are also assessments they have to fill out at home and bring back. I find something called the Work Assessment Survey in the client’s folder when I go to write up the report. Here are some of the hidden gems that have lightened up my day.

(writing reports is REALLY boring. my Buddha teacher Gil says this is okay too…I’m still supposed to breathe and investigate the boredom…

I don’t think he’s ever written reports...)

Disability of record/primary diagnosis?

Fibromyalgia effects my muscles and leguments.

i'm pretty sure legumes are beans, makes me think of a new structure to our anatomy.

What caused your disability?

Birth (in very dark leaded pencil)

If I had awards to give, this would be my favorite a small fellow in a wheelchair…asked to check any essential job functions that might be a problem for him. There’s a list of abilities e.g., standing all day, using both legs, walking for 8 hours...

The only item he marked was…lifting over 100lbs.

I believe him!

okay,

Happy Monday.

Amanda
awaiting the rewards of new employment $$$...my first L.L. Bean tankini!

*COMPLETELY kidding. i just like saying "tankini"

the GED typist

Good Morning,

Last week at work I had the unenviable task of typing up the General Equivalency Development test in large font. I think I was supposed to feel a little bit better about myself when my co-worker with a calm pleading to her voice handed it over and said "Make it work."

My Buddha teacher Gil says in times like these you're supposed to breathe...

in the Pali language the word "piti" means to drink. It also means happiness. So with each breath we drink in the happiness...

I don't think he's ever been given the GED and been asked to type it.

The GED, for those who are unfamiliar, is the test an adult without a high school diploma can take to certify that he or she has American or Canadian high school level academic skills.

According to Wikipedia, to pass the GED Tests, and earn a GED credential test takers must score higher than 40 percent of graduating high school seniors nationwide.

Famous people who have a GED include:

Bill Cosby
Waylon Jennings
L.L. Cool J
Britney Spears (ooo I hope she's Canadian)
Paris Hilton (ditto)
Jessica Simpson (ditto ditto...pleeease cannot be smarter than 40% of American seniors)

The GED tests five subject areas: Social Studies, Science, Reading, Writing, and Math.

At a typing speed of far less than 40 wmp, i have a very good idea of the questions in each of these content areas.

So, this morning I'd like to offer you the 10 Building Blocks of the American Psyche:

MLK Jr. "I Have a Dream" speech
George Washington (isolationism)
Crazy Horse (because everybody needs to know a little
something about Crazy Horse)
Anne Frank
The Great Depression
At least one of the following sayings:

(a) “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
(b) “Honesty is the best policy.”
(c) “Health is everything.”
(d) “You can never be too rich…”
(e) “The early bird catches the worm.”

International Space Station
Hybrid cars
Compatible blood types
Direct Deposit
Determining Distance by Parallax

okay maybe not that last one...i'm currently trying to figure the marathon distance on an elliptical machine. the calculation (used in astronomy) is proving difficult.

alright,

if you're back at work and reading this-Happy Monday.

if at home, Happy Spring Break!

if you are not reading this and still sitting on your meditation cushion...enjoy your breath. : )

Happy Monday,

Amanda
certified LFT (Large Font Typist)

"with nothin but my t-shirt on!...oops...i did it again, that's HOT"

dance montage or i like dance quotes!

Good Morning,

Every time the Fighting Irish score a touchdown a little leprechaun comes out and dances the jig (yes, his legs were very well rested this season). In perhaps a similar manner, I thought I'd trot out some high flutin' entertainment this morning. Below is the link to a dance montage I put together...mostly because I like saying the word "montage" and came across some good dance quotes... : )

"Please send me your last pair of dance shoes, worn out with dancing as you mentioned in your letter, so that I might have something to press against my heart." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

(attached photo...okay?)

anyway...Happy Monday & Happy St. Patrick's Day.

http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/iMovieTheater35.html

Amanda
Chairperson for Funkateer Nationals '07,
"feelin' funky fresh, green and noodly in '08!"