Sunday, October 28, 2007

self-gratitude

Good Morning,

After something like a sibling's wedding, I think it’s natural to examine your life in finer detail. I was sitting staining yet ANOTHER piece of driftwood this weekend...when I thought, "How did I end up here?" The spiral down from here is always a succession of thoughts about perceived inadequacies and what it really means to be a successful/happy 32yr. old.

What follows are 10 nice things I forced myself to write down about myself at the end of the day (Sat.)...after craft-time/breakfast with my Fishing Buddy Bill and taking some Taco Bell to my friend Melissa in "the home" (nursing home).

10 Things

I can have a conversation through a drive-thru speaker without yelling at anyone.

I have earned enough faith and loyalty in a friendship to be trusted to feed someone a chicken soft taco.

I can look someone honestly and squarely in the face when told it’s important to stand-up when farting less something else come out (...and simply nod and say good to know).

I understand the Taco Bell menu is a lesson in impermanence…a popular item in July might not be there in October.

And can continue to hold in high regard...

The entire staff at the 5th Ave. Taco Bell who has never seen or heard of the commercial with "the naked guys in the hot tub filled with ice…"

When someone asks "chalupas or taquitos???" I’ll say taquitos!!! quite chipperly.

When asked "when did you get admitted?" It still hurts but i can say, confidently no, I’m NOT a patient here!

I can make Melissa laugh.

When asked how do I handle jealousy? I can answer from a place of examined conscious and reasoned faith.

I know there will ALWAYS be a place in my HEART…maybe not my apartment for ANOTHER piece of driftwood (see photos)

(...yep, that's 10 )

Happy Monday,

Amanda


Before

After

Monday, October 22, 2007

Wedding Photos










Whhheeeew! Finally, the "big day" has come and gone. I did not get to do my hip-hop dancin' but was able to have some fun documenting the experience instead. This link should take you to a photo album with captions! : )

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=uxwx3fw.4r90p1d4&Uy=4avf1b&Ux=0

Happy Monday!

Amanda

Sunday, October 14, 2007

letting go...










Yes, the groom and his "best" person are ready for a big day of wedding F-U-N!

I laugh but I must admit to also having some sisterly sadness...finally, next Sat., i have to "officially" share my brother/best friend.

The link below is the "movie" i made of my wedding thoughts. hope it's fun.

http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/iMovieTheater20.html

Happy Monday.

Amanda

p.s. "special guest" appearance in the credits... : ) : )

Sunday, October 7, 2007

...i'm specializing in hip-hop












Good Morning,

I went home this weekend to my Dad's for a "social" dance lesson...He tried to teach me the "slow fox-trot."

What's that? Counting all those steps...I've decided to specialize in hip-hop!!! (okay my body decided : )

Peace!

Happy Monday,

A-Lo/Amanda

Click below for the Fisherwoman! move!!!

http://web.mac.com/amv12/iWeb/Site/the%20fisherwoman.html

http://homepage.mac.com/amv12 iMovieTheater18.html
(for Windows)

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The "Venerable Amandala" Two Questions on Enlightenment


Good Morning,

As you may know by now, i have a curious mind. While i might come across as timid or shy in person, i am FEARLESS when it comes to getting answers to my heartfelt questions.

Recently, there have been two main questions i've been struggling with:

1. Can a person become "Enlightened" on a respirator?

AND

2. What are the other ways to "Enlightenment" besides meditation... (I'm not sure but i think this is like asking the Catholic how to get to Heaven without praying).

The heart of Buddhist practice is focusing on the rising and falling of the natural breath...

Elightenment is what i see as the ultimate promise of the Buddhist faith.

For those interested, below is a piece that hopefully realisticlly and humorously captures the correspondence i've had with regards to these questions within the Buddhist Community.

I hope you find it truly entercational (entertaining and educational).

Happy Monday,

Amanda "The Venerable Amandala"

AUDIO
http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/.Public/audiodharma.mp4


Good Morning,

When I was a child in my grade school we had a pencil machine. It was an army green aluminum monster that sucked down dimes and quarters and dispensed its coveted prize with a POP! I could barely hold my excitement as my precious wooden wonderments would roll out into the tray…and if it was NFL WEEK! I walked around for days with unsharpened Kenny Anderson or Dan Marino in my pocket.


Today, with perhaps this same excitement and zeal I download and listen to A LOT of Audio Dharma on my iPod. Each week I’m hopin for an Anushka Fernandopulle or Lama Cathy!

The Audio Dharma is free, downloadable talks given by scholarly sorts about the Buddha’s teachings.

www.audiodharma.org

For me these Dharma talks bring peace of mind but also lead to questions. Recently, I have been trying to get practical or useful answers from a Dharma council designated to answer the Audio Dharma listener’s questions.

My goal is:

to get past the council to the "head honcho" Gil Fronsdal. so far, no success.

So far my main two questions:

Can someone achieve Enlightenment on a respirator?

And

What are the other ways to Enlightenment besides meditation…

I like these people. They respond very quickly…probably something to do with bad karma.

Anyway,

What follows is the correspondence I’m having within the Buddhist community…again, i hope you find it truly entercational...


***please forward to Gil Fronsdal***

Dear Gil,

I am a regular listener to the Audio Dharma via the
web. I feel I am learning a great deal from your
talks and in this light, I’d like to ask an important
question about the breath (this week’s episode
9/2/07). Is it possible to become Enlightened if you
breathe on a respirator?

I am asking this question with all sincerity. I have
done considerable work with spinal cord injury
patients at a rehabilitation hospital. I myself have
a SCI and as part of my practice I have developed strong
aspirations to help others find some sort of comforting
spiritual practice amidst the traumatic conditions of
a spinal cord injury.

Again, I would appreciate any of your consideration
and thoughts to the question: Can a person become
Enlightened if breathing is artificial as if on a
respirator?

Thank you for your time. I love your podcast.

Amanda (in Columbus, OH)

(reply I received)


Dear Amanda,

Gil is currently unavailable until October and due to the many e-mails he receives, he is unable to personally reply to them. He has created a "Chaplaincy Council", a group of experienced practitioners, who also periodically teach at our center, to respond to dharma questions from our community and extended listening community. I am going to forward your message to the Council as I am sure one of them can answer your question satisfactorily.

Kind regards,
Lori Wong
IMC E-mail Communications

(POOOOOOP!!! I can’t find the Reply!!! I must have deleted it in my excitement!)

Okay, so this is my response… to the reply I received from someone in the Chaplaincy Council named Richard…


Dear Richard,

Thank you for taking the time to consider my question
and your prompt reply.

I mean this as a reflection on myself and not as an
evaluation of you...but I am still a bit frustrated in
reading your reply. In certain situations, I feel
there is still a large distance between Buddhist
philosophy and practice. In my immediate goal of
helping vent dependent or recently injured spinal cord
injury patients, I can only imagine resistance to the
idea that it is how we relate to the experience, not
the experience itself that matters. Physical pain and
fear are such powerful forces in the untrained mind.

In this respect, I was wondering if there might be
some readings or resources where I might turn to
further investigate the use of Buddhist techniques
with traumatically injured hospital patients.

Thank you again for your time.

Amanda

(reply from Richard. received same day...)

Hi Amanda,

You are absolutely right. There are lots of experiences that are too much for us to be present with. It is important to recognize that there is not only one approach or answer to how we handle a situation.

I always make a distinction between how we work with experiences that are not too much for us to handle, and those that are. For those within our ability, then the practice is learning to work with how we relate to the experience. For those experiences that are too strong, whether physical pain, fear, confusion, etc., we still want to work with them the best we can, but since they are past our limit, we mostly have to find some relief. They're simply too much and we need to have the tools for changing the experience - bringing down the intensity, getting relief somehow. Otherwise we're just going to suffer and struggle since it is beyond our current ability to handle.

With practice we open to an ever-widening range of experiences that we can be present with, but we will always have our limits.

You had previously asked a general question if one could become enlightened if on a respirator, and I would answer that general question the same way.


Richard,

Thank you so much for your furthered reply. Your
response is helping me to relax my perhaps furrowed
brow. (please do NOT read this as furry...i've been
worried/concerned NOT growing big eyebrows : )

(and that’s a baaad attempt at Buddhist humor…within the Zen tradition instead of one’s nose growing it is said one’s eyebrows grow with every lie told…that’s why some of the monks have those big eyebrows…anyway)

Finding relief amidst the experiences that are too
strong for us sounds like a good place to start. I
am excited to also know the door is still open to my
higher goals and aspirations. It feels more realistic
and possible now to widen my practice.

Thank you again for helping me take my beginning steps
in this life long process.

--Amanda

okay, beeeeep. times up! I will save Question 2, for another Monday...

Click link for cool "Outro" song (Angelique Kidjo and Dave Matthews "Iwoya")

http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/iMovieTheater16.htm