Heaven sent bakery

Good Morning,

How old is Jesus now? How many candles were we supposed to stick on the cake? What about those little construction paper crowns and sitting on balloons in a balloon popping race?...

These were just some of my thoughts yesterday sitting outside the Heaven Scent Bakery!

Heaven sent a bakery to O'Fallon, Missouri. It has a drive-thru, free Wi-Fi and according to my sources on the inside it has the look and feel of a Denny’s...

Denny’s to me has always stood out from the rest for its extremely large American flag. Lined up next to a Bob Evans or Cracker Barrel, the Denny’s stands out for having a flag the size of a small city block. They know we in America like things BIG and will eat anywhere we can hope to find a pancake that big on our plate...

At Heaven Scent, the signage was different (see photo). A large plane trailing banner someone had pulled across the entrance (the pastry gate?...) it said "Happy Birthday Jesus!"

I sat outside in a car with my belly full of mango and too much time to think...

What would happen if a young boy from say San Juan traveled up North to visit family in Chicago? In addition to seeing his first snow…he would be filled with angel cream filling and greeted with a birthday banner… HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEYSUS! (aka Jesus)...

okay enough, in this manner, i'd like to help start your week with something light and joyful.

Here's my...

Top 10 Christmas Present Items

1. hand quilted potato bag (stick a baked potato in a bag and it bakes better…who knew?)

2. Hempz (marijuana) lotion

3. Kinoki foot pads

"Kinoki foot pads collect heavy metals, metabolic wastes, toxins, parasites, cellulite and more, giving you back your vitality and health!"

If worn x-mas night, results will completely disgust you the entire x-mas morning! All my cellulite must of come out of my foot…

4. a pen light for Mitty

5. an awesome Detroit sweatshirt (hope you like it too. i think it's going to be my new Auburn sweatshirt!!!)

6. breadmaker…and the machine (sorghum wholewheat, honey wholewheat, wholewheat pumpkin…the kitchen is smokin' here!)

7. a San Diego Chargers "W" clinching a 1st round playoff bye

8. a goat- i.e., a donation to Heifer International

http://www.heifer.org/ (for more info.)

9. a sunlight therapy lamp

10. gift subscription to the Shambhala Sun

Alright, namaste. (i.e., The Spirit within me recognizes and honors the Spirit within you).

Be kind and good to yourselves this holiday season as it continues.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

most intriguing person of the year 09

Good Morning,

Susan Boyle, Elin Nordegren, Lady GaGa...are all good candidates for most Intriguing Person of the Year.

However, I'd like to offer my own submission. The most intriguing person 2009 has got to be this woman (see above).

Here's the story...

I made my wayward plod to the check in desk. "hello i said i am in town for a couple days and would like to purchase a day pass." A young woman stared back at me nonplussed. I repeated my request...you know like a day pass. a one day trial of exercise. A faint flicker crossed her eyes and she replied "oh."

i waited. oh what? oh she had one. oh they don't do the day passes here...

finally she said "a day pass that'll be $20. do you want one?"

$7 will get you a day of muscle building sweat and a swift meeting with the spindly manager in Kansas.

In L.A. ?

$20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for a second i thought i might try to explain that i didn't want a room and breakfast...i just wanted to workout for like 2 hours.

I must have stared too long or gasped. The girl at the counter looked out over my shoulder and reeled me in "so do you want one?" i'd sent my ride on ahead...

Sooo...I let go of my dolla bills ya'll and officially joined the California economy as I handed over the plastic. there ya go swipe that baby!

interesting, only then did my front desk assistance come alive. she seemed soothed to have found a familiar toy...

Anyway...this woman (in the photo). I spotted from my perch and captured with my cell phone. If you live in Southern California do you know her? Where can I find her?

Just a few things I'd like to point out why I like her:

That is an oxygen tank next to her treadmill.

That is a water bottle with mister nozzle action in the cup holder.

There is a large tote bag hanging from the treadmill arm.

She is wearing double athletic knee braces.

The treadmill is on an incline.

AND, she is watching Divorce Court.

Pardon the borrowed colloquialism but she just seems "soooo L.A."

Alright. sorry for the randomness...

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. best wishes to you and yours this holiday. peace.

southern California Living

Good Morning,

Well, I'm back in Kansas but as they say, I've "drunk the juice" and am completely smitten with southern California...

I decided this the morning of the trip when I walked outside wrapped in a blanket...because it was December, it was sunny, and eating a bowl of Cheerios outside on patio furniture seemed so "naughty girl" in December.

Looking back, I can see how the chair was not prepared for sitting. There were widely spaced plastic strips to help frame and support the overlying cushion...NOT a rapidly descending behind! I aimed and plopped my behind hoping it would hold. WHOOPS! CRASH!!! It did not...and there I lay pinned in the chair, starring up at the beautiful clear blue sky thinking YES this is where I want to be...

I love dolphins, whales, and now feel I have a visceral connection to the sea crab. I could do nothing to free myself just flailed my limbs about.

Pain registered in my rump. I was unsure how to call for help. "Uh, uh Shan?" I cried trying to sound calm, cool, unalarmed. Shan sat just inside engaged in the world of students, grades, deadlines, computers... "Uh, Shan!?" I tried again. "I uh need help."

Shan said she heard a crash, but it did not sound as alarming as previous CRASHES I have landed (see fat lip photo!!!). Still, within a moments notice she was at the door...

In looking back, I keep insisting. Come on Shan that had to look hilarious. I was stuck in a chair, feet in the air...Shan will only reluctantly admit there's an element of surprise I bring to the table that cannot be overlooked...I'm calling it survival or humor.

Attached is the picture of the chair (sorry Javette. thank you for your hospitality).

For more complete picture, here is the link to my other trip photos...

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?token=720896328308:1696782557&facebook=true&sourceId=984136008703

My point. Sometimes when life gives you those painful moments when you don't know if you're gonna laugh or cry. Choose the laugh if you can. Otherwise it's really gonna hurt in the end.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Buddha parenting

Good Morning,

Well, you may have noticed that there was no Monday Morning e-mail last week. I was in Vermont. Vermont this time of year is everything you can imagine...beautiful sky, clear blue mountain lakes, chill to the bone cold, warm apple cider...

Like much of the country it is also flu season. Soon after I arrived I discovered what I would be sitting down at the Thanksgiving table to say I am thankful for...

I am thankful for my health and Pedialyte.

For three days in a beautiful home in Vermont, I watched as my friend parented a sick toddler. I have never changed a diaper and I will offer that the one time I held a newborn infant I described that it felt like holding a sack of potatoes...

Anyway... : (

Although this little one could count among his team of care a NICU nurse (neonatal ICU), a pediatrics floor nurse (the next door neighbor), and a mother working on a specialization in Hospice care nursing...(i believe we had him covered...) STILL the experience of being home alone when a toddler has their first all night barfing experience is SCARY!!!

The evening had been going so well. Mama #1 had left for work. She brings home the muffins working the night shift at a hospital in Burlington, a one hour commute away. The baby had "eaten" half a cheese stick, showered the dogs with crackers, and made a most accurate two-handed toss of a sippy cup into the cats' water bowl. He delighted in bath time...dumping buckets of water on his head, splashing the ducky in the water so hard my friend and I had to hold up towels to catch the aftersplash and muffle the cheers fit for Shamu (oooo ahhh yayyy!!! clap clap clap).

Freshly bathed lathered, lotioned, and powdered the child sporting head to toe cuteness in PJ's continued to delight and entertain with kid games. A newly constructed nylon play thingee (Crawl and Play hut?) had tunnels to explore and a monster to find...my friend crouched hidden behind a hanging door. Much to my surprise I found hidden among the loads of toys the timeless yet always engaging $1.49 floaty ball. You know the one, swirled like an Easter egg kept in mass at the bin at the end of the grocery store aisle, and mostly good for causing a fit? We had no kicking, screaming, or crying just happy games of toddler running and tossing and tossing and catching the running toddler.

Anyway, my point? Things were going well. Perhaps too well. The routine set in motion worked beautifully. Soon we had the little guy in bed and seemingly an evening to ourselves to catch up.

And then...over the baby monitor I heard a lullaby. The unmistakable tingling of some wayward musicians mechanical tinkering. My friend has the 6th sense...smell, taste, sound, touch, sight and toddler hearing. Undetectable to the non-mother ear she heard...barfing!!??

As my first exposure to such an uh, phenomena I still have oh so many questions and a few observations.

Why does barfing always start at 12am?

How can they eat what amounts to ½ a cheese stick all day then produce enough barf to soak through 2 tee shirts?

Why can a child stick Cheerios in his nose crackers down his pants but stick an ergonomically designed thermometer under an armpit and you have screaming?

What is a parent to do when a child wants to be picked up and put down at the same time?

Why is it a child is either hungry, wet, in pain, lonely, or tired. The parent is guaranteed to be at least 3 or 4 of these at all times?

So my trip to Vermont? I mostly tried to stay out from underfoot and sat looking concerned at my friend...

I suppose what I have to offer this morning is what I hope is a note of encouragement to anyone who is a parent. Did you know that the Buddha had a son, Rahula?

When the Buddha came back after the six or seven years of seeking his Enlightenment his wife was not pleased. She sent her son to ask the Buddha for his inheritance!!! The Buddha, the son of a King, upon hearing this request turned to his attendant and said,

"He desires his father's inheritance, but it is wrought with troubles. I shall give him the benefit of my spiritual Enlightenment and make him an owner of a transcendental inheritance."

Annnd immediately he had Rahula, his 7 yr. old son ordained as a novice monk.

Woah mama!

I can only kinda, sorta imagine what the reaction of his wife was...no palaces and riches for you, just a little robe and a hut for Rahula...without full parental consent!

So, the Buddha himself was NOT a perfect parent. In fact parenting exposed him as a human being who acted in less than fully awake or wise ways.

If nothing else perhaps you can congratulate yourself today say I have parenting down at least as well as the Buddha.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

10 Things to do with a Gigantic Bowl of Fruit

Good Morning,

Being new to an area requires effort if one would like to make friends and build community.

So...last Friday we loaded up the car with a gigantic bowl of fruit and headed off to our first pot luck! I will spare you all the details but I will have you know that the street naming system in Lawrence if faulty. Oklahoma St. is not situated between Ohio St. and Oregon St. it is somewhere out in BFE!!! Anyway, because this was truly an open to the community event there was no one expecting our arrival. We also realized at some point at a small gathering food function you really can be "tardy for the party" (holla Kim Zolciak Housewife in Orange Co.!)...

http://www.imeem.com/people/vzHrLba/music/8KZ9w5Ye/kim-zolciak-tardy-for-the-party-mix/

All this to say...we decided we were hungry enough to head home, call off the search and drown our sorrows in a bowl of fruit. Much of the fruit has been given away however we are still asking what to do with all this fruit?!!!

10 Things to Do with a Gigantic Bowl of Fruit.

1. stick it on your head a la Carmen Miranda and perfect the postures of your samba dancing

2. make a "real time" nativity scene. watch the carpenter Joseph start as a fine young grape...then shrivel to a raisin. no crib for a bed? see what happens when baby Jesus lays on a pineapple tidbit...how growth and development are necessary, without it Jesus would have been trapped and confined to an empty husk...

3. do a reverse Trick or Treat...knock on your neighbors' door and hand them a piece of fruit. instead o saying "Tick or Treat!" you get to end with an emphatic you're welcome!

4. take the entire bowl with you to your next doctor's visit and say "here. here is all fruit i'm not eating..."

5. get out your easel and beret and perfect your still lifes

6. drop healthy sized grapes on the floor for your cat so she can have kitty soccer practice. feed her oranges at halftime.

7. if the college football team of your undying devotion is having a stinker of a year, let the fruit bowl set...we're goin to the Rotten Bowl this year! (i.e. not the Orange Bowl, Cotton Bowl, Sugar Bowl...)

8. if someone in your household likes to cook and is good natured, as they enter the kitchen grab a new fresh fruit variety from the bowl and say "today's big ingredient is...the strawberry GO!"

9. add an orangeman to your giant marshmallow family with Twizzler swords

10. eat the fruit it is yummy

okay, Happy Monday,

Amanda