Miami Heat scouting report

Good Morning,

The saying is "old news is no news" but I don't think it counts during the lazy hazy days of summer. There's a particular heat that's caught my attention over the past couple weeks and won't go away. The Miami Heat! Ever since LeBron James announced his DECISION

I've been wondering about this man...

Dexter Pittman. Dexter Pittman is the big man you heard gulp when LeBron announced "I'm taking my talents to South Beach." The implication here was that LeBron aka King James would be joining up with D. (Dwayne) Wade and Chris Bosh to form the most dominating assembly of power and skills the NBA has ever seen.

Only there was only one problem with the signing of LeBron, the Miami Heat roster consisted of roughly 5 players (...a typical NBA roster is 15). At the very moment of the King's announcement, a night before he promised six championships to an arena full of screaming fans...the starting five looked and sounded like this

INTRODUCING...MIAMI THRICE...YOUR THREE KINGS!!!

SUPERSTAR LE BRON JAMES
SUPERSTAR DWAYNE WADE
SUPERSTAR CHRIS BOSH

SOLID contributor and asset Mario Chalmers!!!

...and at center? the rookie...Dexter Pittman who did good in college.

that's some pressure. i liken it to

what if the other MJ (Michael Jackson!) had turned to his back up dancer during the middle of Billy Jean and said "okay get up here with me we're gonna do the moonwalk..."

After The DECISION, the sports media immediately broke down the unfilled roster problem offering this bit of insight

"now all the Miami Heat need are shooters and big men..."

Isn't this the definition of ANY professional basketball player?

anyway...there are more players on the Heat roster now. many of whom most folks probably have never heard of

Yakhouba Diawara, Shavik Randolph?

In a free agent frenzy, the teams general manager and president Pat Riley is shoring up the final spots on the 15 man roster. With the starters in place now, the key is finding the right guy or two who can help build team chemistry.

I have been on the horn all morning working the deals...here's who I have so far on the board. i'll be ready when "Coach Slick" (Pat Riley) calls for my suggestions


Jimmy Chitwood- from the movie Hoosiers. notable in the scene where he sank like 84 shots in a row while the camera was rolling. he's a shooter. he's the quiet type who won't need to share the spotlight. as illustrated in his total of four spoken lines

"i figure it's about time I start playing ball again."
"if coach stays i stay. if coach goes i go."
and...in the big game "I'll make it."

Greg Brady (BMOC) he's a big man...Big man on campus
he's best in the one-on-one game. he likes to back in against smaller opponents (Pete, Bobby, Cousin Oliver) and work the fiberglass. great hustle but some question his ability to handle off the court distractions like groovy chicks.

(scroll to 4:15)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp8p11YbGW4&feature=related

Air Bud. He's a shooter. although he's rumored to have some legal troubles, a great teammate who could also provide some quiet leadership to the locker room.



Michael J. Fox (Teen Wolf)- some question his maturity if he has what it takes to play at the next level but no denying he has freakish talent and tremendous upside. measured at a 108in. vertical leap. throws down with authority.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30sYk9B4OqU&feature=related

Theo Huxtable (Cosby Show)
although has never used a regulation height basket...great attitude, great hustler. knows how to play second banana to a BIG star. knows his job and thrives as a role player.




Enrique Iglesias & Anna Kornakova (suggested mid season acquisitions)
They are big fans and supporters. great for mop up time when you have wrapped up the division and are shutting it down til the playoffs. they can get the party started early before sending the crowd off to South Beach.

The Williams Sisters. Serena and Venus are part owners of the Miami Dolphins they will build off of the popularity of the NFL and provide valuable cross-promotional efforts. In particular, Venus is thought to have special sway in LeBron's game. At a speaking engagement to promote her new book Venus said she would woo him to Miami with a slide show



"I'm from Florida, so Miami certainly is the best place," Williams said. "I actually have a slide show prepared, if he wants to watch, on why." Venus also later said "LeBron James would look good in a Miami Heat uniform." the very next day? he announced his decision to join the Heat...

Gloria Estefan- who does NOT want Gloria Estefan on their team? she speaks to the large Latina/o fan base and can backup the Stars Spangled Banner singer in a pinch.



Alright, that's all I have for now. Keeping it cool in Kansas. Hope you are staying cool where you are.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

it's never too late for a soccer date...

Good Morning,

I hope you had a wonderful 4th. I of course celebrated by watching Valentine's Day (a romantic-comedy movie)...like a all good Americans I am as confused about my holidays as I am about my sports...

soccer is futbol
football actually has very little to do with kicking...

There are two important soccer (i.e. futbol) matches in South Africa today and tomorrow. In this vein, I thought I would continue with some tutelage for those who have expressed interest in understanding the game so they might relate better to a sporty mate.

It's Never too Late to have a Soccer Date 101

Off-sides. This is usually what all the yelling and finger pointing is about...
It is a penalty call indicating the offense has had an unfair advantage.

When the offensive player positions themselves behind the last defender so there is no one between them and the goalie before the ball is passed...He (or she) is OFF-SIDES!!! The voracity of the yelling you hear coming out of your soccer person is because it's all about timing. To engage him or her in dialog at this moment you might try turning and saying "yes, dear we really need to look at when the ball was passed" or you might try nodding in agreement "yes, that was a highly subjective call." No worries ESPN/ABC will provide replay graphics with enhancements to help settle things.

Flopping. Gives soccer a bad wrap. It is why you might have heard soccer called a "sissy sport." Often players will fake phantom injuries to draw the refs attention and hopefully a penalty on the other team. Typically, flopping is seen at the highest levels of competition where it is considered poor sportsmanship to be expected. To everyone else it’s still confusing...

This is why I have uncovered a little piece of audio.

http://vimeo.com/13128863

I've boiled it down to one simple rule you can share in these moments with your soccer person.

"yes, dear that's bad acting. i believe if you get hit in the stomach hold your stomach. if you get hit in the face, hold your face."

or...if this is all too much try making up your own rule. the "Kaka rule"

just throw up your hands and say this's absolutely ridiculous Kaka!"

alright. have fun. let the games begin!

Have a Terrific Tuesday,

Amanda

staying positive...can be an adventure

Good Morning,

I saw an interesting sign this weekend...

The Pioneer Ridge Retirement Community now offers programs such as Assisted Living and the new "Rapid Recovery" physical therapy...

"Rapid Recovery" at a retirement community?

Isn't it more like just keep pluggin’ along you’ll get there?…anyway

I’ve been a little down.

It seems a seemingly unretrainable part of my brain wants to be enjoying summer's playground a little more...running through the waves, hiking up trails, getting my cycle ready for the Tour de France! (okay, I'd settle for the Tour de Lawrence...).

I think this is the same part of my brain that when driving home from the Farmer's Market this weekend said let's keep going! I am not ready to go home yet! And with the AC (air conditioner) chugging along we hit the open road looking for adventure...in Kansas.

When did this start happening? The quirky determination to look for the positive?

It must have been when I asked the swishy-legged nun--“swishy-legged” because that’s all I knew of her--she wore heavy nylons that swished when she entered my hospital room.

I asked her the tough questions…Did God care? If I’m “God’s child” did he know this had happened? (*note to new reader. i could breath and move my biceps a little. that was pretty much it. oh, and i was 16yrs.)

She told me “yes” and that “he was sad.”

I pushed it a little further. "Then why didn’t he stop it? He’s God. He can do anything…"

She smiled down cherubically, patted my shoulder and said,

“because it’s like this…God was there. He was sitting atop a very tall building yelling down to you during your accident ‘I care Amanda!’ but he was too far away you couldn’t hear him.”

This was the exact moment I stopped believing in GOD.

(I still do not know what she meant...)

and started looking for god in the small fun things like nuns in swishy panty hose.

I admit to days where I still struggle with the "why" question but for the most part it helps me if I believe "God never promised me a Rose Garden." I can appreciate the joy of finding a life littered with new adventures!

I thought you might enjoy seeing what awaited on campus at Kansas State University...

KSU Insect Zoo from Amanda Vallo on Vimeo.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

5 Things I Learned at Nebraska Summer Writers' Camp

Good Morning,

I am back from my week at the Nebraska Summer Writers’ Conference. There were a number of other activities (camps, conferences, workshops) on campus for the week so I was surprised when a nice worker at the dining hall asked “So what do you people do at a writers’ conference?” She was holding a pencil with a big fat eraser and an unfinished crossword in one hand and a scanner for my meal ticket in the other. I took great pleasure in informing her that “some of us write…or we sit in class and do crossword puzzles.”

I thought you might like to know what I was doing when not doing crossword puzzles...

5 Things I Learned at the Nebraska Summer Writers’ Conference

when one person decides to have ice cream everyone has ice cream!

As mentioned, there were many camps and “kid” activities on campus last week. We all shared the same dining hall and had the same lunch/dinner hours. A cheeseburger with a side of pizza topped with onion rings the typical plate, the one staple in EVERYONE’S diet a trip over to the soft serve ice cream machine (I scream YOU scream we all SCREAM for ice cream!)! A few nights my timing was off and I arrived at the smokin’ machine just as let’s say the volleyball camp arrived. If you saw one knee padded pony tailer wandering over there…you must wheel FAST!!!...before the other 50 arrived.

there’s a type of arrogance that even if it’s true it's annoying

Benjamin Percy. There’s a type of arrogance that even if it’s true is annoying. In a room full of writers eager to learn creative non-fiction, it’s a bit off-putting to hear him refer to his personal relationship with an Esquire editor "I call him up and say what's up asshole?"…his attitude toward non-fiction writing as “it’s mercenary" or to hear “nonfiction? that’s my Big Mac at McDonald’s job…"

culture shock...

There are 5 stages of cultural shock felt by people who have to operate in a different and unknown culture such as when a young American beat reporter takes on a long assignment in Mumbai (India). Closer to home, I’m pretty sure a similar phenomenon can occur in a week when the “athlete” sits in a classroom full of other writers…

In the beginning, there were encounters that struck me as strange and at first I experienced a formidable language barrier.

My neighbor turned and implored us all...

“You know when you’re seven you don’t want to go home and tell your parents you were picked last for the kick soccer team…”

Several agreed. I could not get past the “kick” soccer team. Who calls it “kick” soccer? All soccer is kick…By the end of the week though, we had sailed through "Negotiation" and were well on our way to enjoying conversations of the World Cup!



Go Big Red?

With the addition of Nebraska, the Big 10 now has 12 teams while the Big 12 now has 10…in the sports world the language that speaks is money.

and lastly...

you are the only one who can tell your story right now

However you do not need to repeat yourself. Sometimes it’s okay to let others do the heavy lifting (i.e. writing/speaking) for you.

When I am in blog mode, I love having the help of ESPN radio call announcers.

I’d like to conclude today with what I hope are helpful (and fun) tips to my new sporty-writer friends for watching the 2010 World Cup Kick Soccer Event.

In soccer the rules are simple. You cannot touch the ball with your hands.

Here's JP Dellacamera and Tommy Smyth with the call...(no you are not missing video. i just love the flow of the language they share : )

that's a handball... from Amanda Vallo on Vimeo.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

Kickin' it with Class

Good Morning,

I am coming to you from a remote location today. I am at the Nebraska Summer Writer's Conference! Before the fun starts here I thought I'd check in with you all on another matter of importance and concern--the World Cup!

The World Cup 2010 Soccer (i.e. Futbol) Tournament started this weekend in South Africa. Since I will be away from the TV for the week I thought well we all don't need to miss it...here's what to set the DVR for:

U.S.A. team's Landon Donovan- He is America's best player and looks a lot like Brian Boitano.




*factoid to drop on your soccer friend. Landon left traditional h.s. at age 15 and went to a full-time soccer academy as part of US Soccer's push to develop world class talent. Now 28 this mid-fielder has run incalculable miles.

England's Fans

England has the "Premier League." The home of the best soccer in the world. However when it comes to the World Cup the England Fan will be easy to spot--faces painted in the St. George's Cross, wringing hands, and furrowed brow. They won their first and only World Cup in 1966. It is a great source of woe and national lament that they have not won one since.

*factoid to share with your soccer friend. the U.S. tied with England (1-1) on a ball that went through the goalie's legs this weekend.

the sound of a herd of flatulent elephants

The vuvuzela- a cheap plastic noisemaking trumpet is a favorite of South Africans. South African fans blow this fog horn like instrument throughout the entire match...so you will see what it sounds like when 94,000 drunken people try to moor a boat! The overwhelming drone has also been described as sounding like a swarm of wasps or a herd of flatulent elephants.

*factoid to share with your soccer friend...over beers: Did you know an elephant fart can last a good 5 seconds?

Diego Maradona on a winning streak?

The manager (aka coach) decides the final roster for each of the the 32 national teams competing in the World Cup. There have been many eye-popping omissions. Argentinian legend and current manager Diego Maradona explained his odd roster selections this way:

Maradona answered his critics after locking up a spot in the World Cup by telling media members to "suck it and keep on sucking it."

He has also promised to streak nude if Argentina wins the World Cup (...and we will all be watching for this!)

*factoid to share with your soccer friend: Diego Maradona is looking old and a bit pudgy. I don't know if the citizens of Buenos Aires are ready for a World Cup.

and finally,

players reactions to the new ball

Adidas has provided the official 2010 World Cup match ball--The Jabulani!!! It means to celebrate or be happy. Here’s U.S. backup goalkeeper Marcus Hahneman’s review of The Jabulani:

“It’s horse----. It’s the worst soccer ball I’ve ever played with. It’s plastic. It feels like s--- when it comes off your foot. It moves like crazy. It swerves. … You can’t tell what it’s going to do.”

*factoid to share with your soccer friend: Marcus Hahneman maybe shoulda stayed home.

okay, I'm glad I didn't stay home! Time to kick it with my writing class.

Happy Monday,

Amanda