turn em' kine

What would make a straight girl I’ve just met say “I think I’m in love with you?”

I just explained something I'm working on to my engaged co-worker.

For the first time ever i felt my face fade and shift into the Shane face…huh, wuh? I coolly turned to my computer. "I just really want this to work for you."

i'm not as savvy and experienced in the world of sexual matters as Jackie Warner.

i do not walk into a room and present with an "aura of fearlessness and confidence." (Jackie W.) Quite the opposite. I walk into a room checking for hand holds and any obstacles that might be in my path. What I do think gets noticed is the deeper strength and conviction of someone who has struggled with a difficult past and come out of it okay.

The turn em kine potential that I have is written in the lines of concern on my face.

I think in looks and mannerisms I invite interest from people both straight and gay (dyke, femme, bi, etc.) On their part, I think there is a genuine interest and curiosity that gets misrecognized perhaps as a sexual desire.

This in and of itself is not enough to turn the straight woman. The actual turning happens when she starts to realize how open I am and experiences that "feeling of safety" (Jackie W.) in all my responses--physically, verbally, emotionally I am consistent. At least I think the hidden aspect of it is the community acknowledgement and acceptance they get to feel when the threatening emotions occur “what is this? Can I be in this relationship?” It is my theory that in some subtle way the turned experiences the larger power that comes with something “hideous and unacceptable” (physical disabled body) being actually “something good and okay.” then something deep inside when they look at me says “yes.”

My other theory is that I’m just hot, charming, and a sexual bad ass! Hopefully one of those is true : )