Carlotta

Good Morning,

I learned something about myself last week. If you look like Mrs. Butterworth, you will get in my car.

That is, I was at least somewhat wittingly a participant in an interesting (read entertaining) scam.

I was sitting in my car at an intersection in downtown Columbus when a broad-hipped woman in flip flops asked me to roll down my window so she could tell me her car was being towed. She had a cell phone but did not have any money to get her car "depounded."

It was one of those moments in life you're not really prepared for…simple engagement with the eyes...

She asked, "Do you want me to get in?"

No I did not. I shook my head no, she hopped in.

Carlotta was a large black woman in her late 20’s. She smelled of flower perfume and soap. She promised "I don’t do this often." I settled myself thinking that’s really not a line a hooker would use...

As scams go, this one was pretty simple. She needed $40 to get her car "depounded."

Once in my car, I had no idea what to do with her other than explain that I had very little cash and then to drop her off at "scary Kroger."

I quickly learned this wasn’t going to work because she’s been practicing her schtick for months...it went, she had just moved from Texas to be with her aunt who had cancer and had been visiting her all day at the James (OSU Cancer Hospital).

I didn’t want to interrupt but the actual building she had been visiting was the Convention Center. This aunt, I thought, was also making a speedy recovery and in full voice as I listened to Carlotta on the phone.

Through the cell phone conversation I could hear her aunt was someone who feared for Carlotta’s safety (I have no idea if Carlotta is her real name that’s just what I’m calling her).

Carlotta told her aunt the Lord had blessed her with me, a miracle, and yes, she was being careful...it was a nice woman!

Unfortunately, the Aunt was also down on her luck…

She was $41 short of what it costs to get Carlotta's car "depounded..." if she did not get it soon…tonight…the fee would go up!

I did not want to point out that she didn’t seem to be holding the car’s title and registration which I’m pretty sure would also be required at the depoundment.

I just knew I would not drop anyone off at the scary Kroger-a poorly kept grocery store on the edge of OSU's campus that cannot keep carts around for fear that patrons will steal them and scrap them...

Columbus, Ohio is on a grid system. When I first moved here I learned many of the important roads are on parallels and perpendiculars...i've been here 10 years and the layout...well, at times i still need to consult MapQuest. Carlotta??? the newly arrived Texan must reeeeally know her parallels and perpendiculars…

She became a tour guide directing me into the most appropriate exit lane as we tooled down Rt. 315 and headed toward her aunt's, the depoundment, or certain death. I couldn't tell exactly which...

If I were to die in the next 15 min., I figured at least i would have an entertaining story and Jesus to lead me to my death...

Carlotta's voice shook at little as she shared...she was from a little town near Aberdeen Texas, the policemen here were mean and laughed at her and her car's depoundment. she was very happy that Jesus had sent me to her.

Sadly, she broke character. She perked up, "This is cute in here. Nice. When did you get this car?"

I laughed and agreed yes, it is sporty yet functional.

Quickly, she cut to the chase "my Aunt said she can give me $80 so...you know whatever you got...i get paid on Friday...i'll pay you back..."

i thought the drop off location Carlotta requested was a stroke of brilliance in this scheme. Between her church and a block from her Aunt’s home...there’s a little convenience store with an ATM if you need it.

i wanted to take points away for having the aunt in two places at once. first, in a hospital bed at the James second, at home getting ready to head out the door for work.

but instead...

Assessed do I have $40 I’m willing to part with and never see again? Yes I did.

I gave Carlotta the 40 toward the depoundment ($121 total fine) but will admit I had trouble with the $1 (Carlotta is the $1 necessary? isn't that just a biiiit pretentious?)

Carlotta took the cash. since her aunt was impatiently waiting at home she decided it’s best if she walk the final block "home" (or to the getaway car) to spare me the arrival and drop off scene.

She exited the car and looked back at me through the window...again, in the eye, we had that human connection. she said “pray for me.”

Okay, I’ll consult with the AudioDharma and see what I can do.

Happy Monday,

Amanda