a holiday gift giving guide

Good Morning,

If there’s one thing I know it’s hostessing! I don’t like to toot my own horn but I’m pretty sure the Aloha doormat, the VCR hook up and invitation to blow up your own air mattress pretty much speaks for itself. Mitty and I have entertained a countless number of friends…a few who even probably enjoyed their stay.

I’ve come up with a sometimes fun sometimes serious list you can use as your holiday gift giving guide. Add delete items as necessary.

Guide

1. Get gifts everyone can use.

Hand sanitizer
Water bottle
Atlas
Day-by-day calendar
A shammy
Cd’s (not the monetary kind)
x-mas DVD’s, books


2. Shop in one location. *Note I often find myself in the CVS isle.

So, for those who might appreciate something from the CVS aisle (Grandpa, Grandma, special needs population)

Inflatable seat ring
Male hand held urinal
Support hose

and don't be afraid to get creative once you get your purchases home...

Steel toed slippers (for the late night potty runs)
His and her Fart swatters...just decorate a fly swatter Grandma & Grandpa can use when hanging out in their recliners.


3. Keep it fun by involving the entire family.

Mitty wanted to do charitable gifts this year. She suggests Kitty fur wigs for those cats experiencing hair loss conditions. Simply brush your kitty daily and save it in a plastic baggie. You can send it to “Santa Claus” who will then spin it into a wig for just the right kitty… (shhhhhh, please don’t tell her).

4. Go green this x-mas. To cut costs and save the planet think of ways guests might be able to recycle their gifts.

Potato clock
A handful of grass- tell them these are “starter seeds for a grass garden.”
A “poncho” garbage bag
Macaroni noodle magnet
Ant farm- put one of your ant traps in a jar of dirt w/ magnifying glass
Secret turd for out in the garden…(if you can think of ways your guests will be recycling this item I do NOT want to hear about it).

And lastly,

5. Turn the tables. If you always have ideas offered to you about what you might do to make your life simpler...

Before I…I mean you get another (wheeled walker, pair of long underwear, magnetic insoles, wheeled cooler, water pick pamphlet).

I’ve done some special research and would like to pass on these suggestions…as advertised on TV!!!

*Mighty Putty! for when your cup of water suddenly springs a leak! What I like most about this commercial is when the actor is...holding his cup of water over an aquarium and it suddenly springs a leak!…out the side.

oh yes, suuure I’ve had this happen to me…

also for $19.99 and some laughs...

*The Hercules Hook! "...installs easily by hand: just twist, push and turn. Pick a point on the wall…with firm forward pressure, twist the hook back and forth (like a key) until you have chiseled through the wall...Hercules Hook!
No tools! No studs!
Leaves only a pin size hole!"

What I like most about this one is how it leaves just a pin size hole…after the chiseling.

And lastly …not quite sure how this one DOES NOT qualify as adult entertainment. It is in the fitness category as an ab exerciser. Just click and study it. Wowza!

http://www.infomercials-tv.com/blog/exercise_and_fitness/ (scroll to the bottom of the page until you find...the Sport-Elec Body Contour System!)


"The Sport-Elec stimulates the Nerves that work the body's muscles. The result is strong deep, yet comfortable, contractions that, over time, train your muscles to be firmer and stronger, while you work, play, exercise or relax!"


okay, anyway.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

...because the world needs more chair dancing

Good Morning,

For anyone who doubts the power of words...

My Fishing Buddy Bill has been released from the hospital and agreed to take up residence in a "rehabilitation facility" while undergoing a round of 20 radiation treatments.

I guarantee this neeeever would have happened had someone used the words "nursing home" (i.e. the actual translation of "rehabilitation facility").

anyway...

another word i need to throw out there this morning? stinky. As in this year the Michigan Wolverines are stinky. I am a loyal fan but i do think the following joke is funny.

*for the non-sports people, Michigan has only won 3 games this year and lost to Toledo...who has won only 2. it is OSU-Michigan week. there is a BIG rivalry game to be played in Columbus next weekend.


[Columbus Ohio sports talk radio...1460 The Fan]

caller: "Did you hear they canceled the game next weekend?"

announcer: "no."

caller: "yeah, we've heard Michigan can't get past Toledo."

(okay of you still don't get it. Ann Arbor, MI is about a 4hr. bus ride from C-bus...through Toledo).

oooo, ouch. yes this hurts.

SO, with all the troubles going on in the world these days Mitty and I decided to do out part Saturday night to raise happiness awareness. We held a "Saturday Night Dance Party!"...with two attendees. : )

Get ready for some meeeean chair-dancing : ).



feel free to cop my moves : ).

happy monday.

A-lo & Mitty Mix-a-lot

p.s. *warning to the young ones. FloRida's lyrics are EXPLICIT. cover your ears.

a mindful monday

Good Morning,

I'm breaking a little from the mold this Monday. Typically I want to provide you with something light and entertaining to start the week, but my mind has been elsewhere...So, I thought I'd just share something I've posted on my CRF (Christopher Reeve Foundation) blog. Basically, my "Fishing Buddy Bill" is very sick. I was able to see him again since this post. He's doing a little better...Please send any healing thoughts or prayers his way.



Thursday, Nov. 6, 2008

Tonight was a difficult night for me. I just returned from visiting a friend who is very sick and in the hospital. My friend Bill (aka my "Fishing Buddy" Bill) has stage four prostate cancer that has metastasized to different parts of his body. There is cancer in his stomach, his skull and the swelling of lymph nodes suggest "the cancer cells are coming!" to more precious organs. The wearied doctor might say it's only a matter of time now there's nothing more we can do...

i watched tonight as the well patienced nurse went about her nightly duties- drawing another vile of blood, checking Bill's menses?...can a 61 year old man ovulate? whatever the term... i asked and it meant basic life signs and mental clarity.

as sometimes happens in hospitals i began to relax and feel at home. an ICU unit is a place my body has been. it is a place through my work my mind knows.

as the nurse straightened Bill's arm to keep the IV machine from beeping and labeled each tube with the surgical tape my own skin began to crawl and itch with each desperate attempt at a scratch...

i was relieved when the nurse offered lotion to sooth away the burn. i knew the aloe isn't the medicinal cure promised. it's simply the attention to the need that cures.

later, as bill struggled to free himself from "bondage" (tubes & wires)...i remembered that too...what it feels like to have a will to freedom but no boat to carry it (sorry for the bad metaphor).

my spiritual strength was called upon and thankfully i could rest here. sorry this is so jumpy but watching bill's physical struggle my mind came to one conclusion. there is no bill here. is he the body i see before me? no. is he the mind of wandering thoughts i can no longer follow? no. where is Bill in these moments? he’s simply inside of me.

Point??? we are not our bodies or i still need to work it out with Buddha teacher Gil.

Mindful Monday,

Amanda

fun Fall fashion footage

Good Morning,

Today (Sunday) is the penultimate day to a very important election. I think it's important to stop and reflect upon cherished values and important freedoms...our right to choose, right to vote, right to bare arms and other body parts...at least in some states (helloooo Vermont!).

No, really, one of the freedoms I most enjoy is the adolescent or teen girl's freedom of expression. The statement made through a good pair of Ugg boots? I am confused about comfort. I had to lay on the ground to get these puppies on (the skinny jeans) but my feet are floatin on cushions as soft as a puppy belly...

Recently, I captured some of this fun fashion footage on video. i'm calling it "why i love fall the ugly in our boots unites us all!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKz3XMyqyE8



happy monday.

amanda

p.s. be sure to wear your favorite slippers to the polls. lines could be long.