Saturday, July 28, 2007

Ceramic dynamics or my most embarrassing moment...last week










http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/.Public/ceramichole.mp4

okay, Dad, click the link above for the audio. then cover your ears.

Happy Monday.

Amanda

Sorry the Audio is not coming through. Here's the piece I read...


Good Morning,

This is a case of the child playing with the wrapping paper and not the present or the dog sleeping in the cardboard box not the house that came in it…

Vermont with all its beauty, the Green Mountains, Lake Champlain, sunsets that bedazzle with a plethora of colors I will perhaps at least on this trip best remember for this…buttholes

And don’t get me wrong here. The people were nice, remarkably so…At the Burlington airport I almost had to pat myself down and punch the doe-eyed security lady in the nose to get her to touch me. (You always get the patdown, glove treatment when going through security in a wheelchair). There were 15 minutes until plane departure and she wanted to hold a discussion about my sensitive areas…

She said, “I’m going to use the back of my hand and sweep under the breast. Is this okay?”

Let’s just say on this trip there was a panicked dash over cobblestone streets in Montreal…a bit bone jarring when in a wheelchair but…sadly my harness (upper undergarment), I surprisingly determined was not needed. More sad what came to mind in those feared last moments before death…as we made our way over the cobblestone street there was an approaching tour bus. My thought wasn’t “gee mom hope there’s no brown spots in my underwear.” It was “wow there’s nothing jiggling?”

So no, lady I don’t think you need to sweep my sternum to see if I’m packing heat. But the plane leaves in 15min. pleeease sweep away! But then she wanted to discuss the mechanics of my chair and where she might be able to place her hands and push me when she was done.

I almost said off a cliff…

No, I am not talking about people. I am talking about a certain bodily orifice. I will explain, but first you/I needed to meet someone.

One thing I learned on my trip. It’s not who you know but the people you meet along the way that matter.

I’d never met a real live artist before. On the last night of my stay I had the opportunity to meet…Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a brilliant ceramicist my friend Mary had dated years ago. They remained friends and Elizabeth was in Isle La Motte a couple days to rest and visit.

She had been in Maine where she’d been attending a week long artists’ camp. Think rustic cabins, Pollack throwing paint not Demi Moore and Patrick Swazy spinning dirt at the pottery wheel. They were there to learn technique, network and bond over the good quality materials Mother Nature has left us. (I saw pictures of dirt).

When she arrived, I learned she had gotten some work done. It had been a very dark period her past…baby dolls with missing limbs, charred stuffed animal collections, a ceramic vagina with teeth and a penis well…connected.

What do you say to someone who’s charred and maimed baby dolls, placed them artistically on an antique babydoll bed and called it art?

“uh, hello?”

Mary invited me to join them for dinner. Did I want to go?

Did I? to my writer’s mind this lady was like crack!!!

She was also a well-degreed and well-educated professor at several big school universities.

The years have matured Elizabeth. Instead of an official crazy person (I dusted off my Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) over dinner I met in appearance and character… Wednesday from the Adams family, a sensitive, delicate soul not really meant for the harshness of “our” the real world.

Elizabeth is the kind of person who will take in a homeless cat and passionately believe his glazed over milky blue eyeball is beautiful. She was devastated when the blind, defective eye had to be removed by the vet. (I’m still guessing she probably keep it somewhere or is wearing it on a charm bracelet on her wrist)…

The kind of person who can quote Proust, rattle on for days about Frost’s poetry and Dickenson but can’t figure out the drain in the bathtub. As I readied for bed, I heard a small plaintive cry coming from the nearby bathroom.

“Mary the water won’t go down.”
“Well, did you remove the rubber cover over the drain?”
“yeah”
“Well, okay did you pull up the plug?”
“oh? “

(pause)

I believe life’s not about who you know. It’s really about who you meet along the way…Some come to us with great experience and wisdom. They become our great teachers. Others come to us as difficult people. Some we will call our “enemies.” They push us to deepen our spiritual practice. And others…

Are sent from a land or place that is purely their own. Just put here to make us go,

oh?

I fell asleep that night…counting

Fried mozzarella sticks not eaten until the gooiness inside was unwrapped and strung into the air like a smiley face. Then without any self-monitoring humility or embarrassed awareness…she lunged forward in her chair to eat it out of midair. Then she decided to make a sculpture out of the wax beans…

(I am not that cool. I myself had to know if the wax beans were squash? This rubs off on people).

Anyway, I was very nice to meet Elizabeth.

The next morning…

Every morning there were two buttholes on the kitchen table, Romeo and Truman the cats. This is their nighttime sleeping spot. But this morning as I sipped the milk out of my Buddha bowl, sleepy-eyed I noticed there were two other roundish looking objects on the table. Elizabeth had brought her work in the night before after all had gone upstairs and off to bed...two pieces to get ready to pack and ship to her home in Florida. A tingle of thrill and excitement shot up my spine. “How cool! A real artists work!” A study in shape form and texture. My Buddhisattva mind grasped at the five aggregates ready to dissemble with my eyes, break the object down into its components…I put my hands where the artists had been, feeling the groves once again with my proud, strong, hands, lithe and nimble fingers probing…wait a minute.

That’s not right. I picked up the piece and turned it to the back. I mean what’s this… nothing, just like two rounded bubble things with a crease. Uh oh!

Here’s the last thing I forgot to tell you. While at the workshop/retreat another participant had identified a theme that was starting to emerge in Elizabeth’s work. It seems Elizabeth has started making suggestive holes. That is, work that, well, you know looks like certain well holes in the body. I found myself holding a butt staring into what I do believe is a butthole. “Oh my god!” Thankfully, I did not drop it, scream loudly or curse. Attached is the picture of the work and the second piece (not pictured), I believe looks like a giant candy corn.
Okay, I’m still a little flustered.

Happy Monday,

Monday, July 23, 2007

mitty's haiku



Good Morning,

I am indeed back in Columbus; however, it seems there's been a little unrest here on the home-front while I was away. For the past couple days, Mitty has been pacing and worrying herself about her Monday Morning e-mail debut. She says she was anxious, didn't get the chance to show her best work, yadda yadda yadda. So, this morning I promised her she could do the e-mail again (gives me more time to goof off...).

So...

Greetings,

This is Mitten S. Kittens. This morning I'd like to
share with you some of my Haiku. I have tried to
preserve the traditional 5-7-5 syllable structure but
please keep in mind "meow" is a very tonal language.
Form and structure might not always be preserved in
translation.

Peace and Loving Kindness.

M.

Gentle as the dawn
A turd slips to the carpet
Wiping feet now sleep

Lily's arms droop down
Waiting eyelids half closed up
She says water me

I like to eat cheese
Summer, winter, spring and fall
Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese!

...yeaaa for Mitty! (clap, clap, clap)

Happy Monday,

Amanda

mitty's thoughts


Good Morning,

I like cheese. Some dogs are nice but most of them are mean.

It’s kind of nice having my wobbly person out of the house but guess who she has takin' care of me? A VET! Do you people know how stressful this is? I mean sure we “talked” about it but...

she hasn't called, hasn't written.

I think I'm gonna go poop in the bathtub.

Happy Monday,

Mitty

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Vermont Trippin'

http://homepage.mac.com/amv12/.Public/WhereIGo.mp4 (audio intro "Where I Go" Natalie Merchant)

Good Morning,

Okay so I know I won't exactly be looking into a river in Vermont...it's a lake, my friends live on Lake Champlain. But, if you listened to the above this is my favorite Natalie Merhcant song...very soothing.

I am very excited to see my friends but still a bit nervous about the travel and being 700 miles away from home in Vermont! Not helping is the small matter of the research I’ve been doing lately.

"Law of nature prevails in Vermont
Brattleboro teens shed clothes with impunity"

``I think most of Vermont wants Vermont to be nude," said Hannah Phillips, 15, who added that she has not disrobed. ``People have a basic human right to be naked if they want to."

Since then, the no-clothes fashion has gained popularity and has expanded to include group bike rides, skateboarding, hula-hoop contests, and a grass-roots music event that the group dubbed the Brat Fest.

The stripping apparently started in early summer...

hmm, what else?

Here’s the correspondence I had with a columnist from the Seven Days News "We have Issues 7 days a week!" This is Vermont’s alternative webweekly at www.sevendaysvt.com.

Eva,

This is my first time visiting the 7Days online. I
was immediately drawn in by your unique blog title
"Stuck in Vermont." I am visiting Vermont in July and
will be writing a personal/travel essay on my
experiences. I was wondering if you could give me any
background on how you decided to name the blog “Stuck”
in Vermont.

Also, why is it that Cindy Sheehan is the
only person stuck in Vermont? I believe the activist Cindy Sheehan
lives in Virginia and/or Texas?

Thank you for such an interesting an entertaining
blog.

I look forward to your reply.

Amanda

(Reply I received from Eva)

Amanda,

Thanks for your mail. I named the vlog Stuck in VT because we get stuck in the snow and mud here every year AND a lot of people end up stuck here after visiting (watch out). Plus, it is a little sassy.

Cindy Sheehan spent a weekend in VT driving around on a bus and stumping for impeachment of Bush. During that time I made a video about her so she was temporarily stuck in VT (there was a snowstorm and she actually did almost get stuck).

Glad you like the vlogs and have a great time in VT!

best,
eva

took me about 5 minutes to figure out why the title is “sassy” about 10 not to point out my sky rocketing pulse…

according to the alternative paper there are…

Artists Stuck in Vermont
Companies Stuck in Vermont
Musicians Stuck in Vermont (C Funk, James Kochalka Suprstar!, Tell No One)

And entire organizations?

So…If there’s one place I’d like to get stuck in Vermont it would be with my friends Mary & Kay. (very goood folks) For the next week or so you can find me here.



Peace and Happy Monday.

Amanda

p.s. Mitty the Kitty is in charge of next week's post : )

Monday, July 2, 2007

interpretive dancing


Good Morning,

Today I am excited to say I am going on my first vacation in...20 years? I’ve checked with the "Ohio Counsel on Adults" and they confirmed that Spring breaks’ spent with your parents in Florida don’t count. Family weddings escorted by your grandma…also out.

Next week I’m looking forward to being in VERMONT although I do have a few small reservations about being there...

My friend suggested I check out the weekly alternative paper, "7Days" for news and events to help me feel more at home while I'm in Vermont, so I did.

If you get the chance check out:

http://7d.blogs.com/stuckinvt/

For a live look at some creative folks in red leotards and finger dancing go to:

Dancer and choreographer-- Selene Colburn (...Dad, this will involve some scrolling, episode 31)

In late June she performed her unique talent show—“The History of the Future Suite” in Burlington, VT involving several local community members…

Some of it’s improve, some choreographed okay all of it has given me the giggles this morning. (I can’t help but see myself in red leotard adding my uh energy alongside Selene…)

My friend Mary assures me we can go if there’s still an open call out for anyone in the community who wants to perform. I believe my dancing in my bathroom studio qualifies me enough to rub elbows with the varying levels of experience…

[audio from clip]

“I’m going to be touching and rolling on you right now…”

"And sometimes we have people walking over and jumping off of each other..."

Wait wait. No, no. I changed my mind. I want to go watch them can maple syrup and export dairy products.

Anyway,

So with great trepidation and some fear I say in my future? I just want to be happy that’s all. In my future…I will be in Vermont.

Happy Monday.

Amanda

And I do these tiny dances, just with my hands.