let's go to the instant replay!

Good Morning,

I have a very small matter of greeeeat importance this morning! As I was cleaning up my files this morning I came across this...



"Get in the Zone" from the College Basketball Experience...

Think of it this way. I have very bad balance. Every time I go to reload my shot in a rapid fire competition it feels a bit like standing on a water bed. Ol Pistol Pete to my right was a machine!!! Cranking out shots so fast there was a trail of smoke!

I lost this "friendly" competition...25 to 37!!!

My shaky right leg will not go out the loser! Dad may have begged off “arthritis in both hands” but he was soon to be seen disappearing, running off to shoot more free throws! ...and i want a REMATCH!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. "Look at the scoreboard!" (stomp stomp!) I'm comin' for ya Dad!!! : )

Little Kid T-Ball

Good Morning,

Yesterday as I sat in church I learned according to relationship scholars the primary factor in the make up of "a good father" is that he sticks around...

I think this is setting the bar awful low. For the most part, I think most dads want to get it right. They not only want to be there for their kids but to coach the T-ball team too!

I'm always here to help out. : )

I thought I'd put together a little primer for new dads based on a little T-ball game watching I did this weekend...

"Little Kid T-Ball Rules of the Game"

There must be one participant facing the complete opposite direction to the field of play at all times.

The relay throw to the infielder...is a throw in the general direction of home plate. It's a live ball HELD to watch all runners run around the bases.

At least 17 players out on the field at all times playing defense.

Tag outs are the rule. No throwing to the baseman.

Throwing the ball AT the runner to get them out...is discouraged.

As is a base runner being lapped.

...and clover picking. (cartwheels and nose picking were not observed but also possible cause for game stoppage)

Action in the batter’s box constitutes not only the batter's stance but also the coach placing the ball. (It's delicate timing up there new dad's so watch out. Swings go off sporadically!)

A "hit" means toward the infield. A batter after multiple swings may also smack the tee and run as you watch the ball roll backwards...or on foul balls that hit 2ft. in the dirt and roll directly sideways.

Everybody bats and everybody runs.

First person to first base gets to be the first baseman. This also applies to second base, third base...and so on...

The shortstop may stomp like a jack rabbit to release energy or to shake off a tick bite (always have First Aid kit and matches handy).

Okay, and lastly for your true Dad moment...

At the end of the game, this is what it’s all about. Line the kids up. Cross the field in a display of sportsmanship and shake hands.

Remember they ARE playing a sport. They have gloves. They have uniforms with numbers and hats. Have fun!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a goose with a people problem

Good Morning,

As I made my way into the mail hut last week, a notice posted on the mail room door caught my attention. In large bold letters--GOOSE UPDATE!!!

In sum, it read...

Dear Residents,

In April, a goose took up residence and laid a clutch of eggs in one of the plant beds surrounding the pool. One month later. No geeselings. The Kansas Department of Wildlife ascertained the goose was sitting on a nest of inviable eggs. The goose continued sitting upon the eggs. This week the Kansas Wildlife came and took the goose to another location where she is now able to meet other goose friends!!!!

As the door slammed behind me, the take home message sank in. We now have a "Goose Policy?" (what the frick?)

Given my recent success in letter writing and new found provisional licensure status I'm lobbying to see if I can get an inclusion in this new "Goose Policy." As per this date, new policy for Deer Creek management and staff would require contacting the on-site "Goose Grief Consultant." In this new role, I have been in contact with the geese and other animals on the property and helped them craft a letter.

June 13, 2011

Attn: Deer Creek Management

We the geese flock are writing with regards to the handling of an important matter to the Deer Creek animal community. Ginny Goose our beloved sister, mother, and friend was relocated from her home for non-aggressive behavior unbefitting of a goose. We feel resident behavior contributed equally in this matter. The staffs constant checking as well as the pointing, monitoring and loud screaming of children would not allow us to send in on-site assistance to Ms. Goose in the form of natural supports. As the care in your "Goose Update" has shown, we know you can appreciate Ms. Goose's "odd" behavior as an issue of complicated grief. For as much as we have not pooped on the front lawn or any of the walkways leading up to the pool, we would have asked that you respect us in aiding Ginny in her process. It deeply saddens us to lose one of our own, and to be treated so poorly on a land we share. Please, please, please bring Ginny back.

As a matter of public record we are releasing this letter to Facebook and the Monday Morning News Blog. We've also formed a peaceful coalition with a band of foxes, raccoons, snapping turtles, and Deer Creek cats and dogs residents to develop a "People Policy" and will cc you on our recommendations. We ask that you post and distribute to all Deer Creek Residents.

Sincerely,

The Geese
Ruffy Rottweiler, Stanley & Myrtle Turtle, Buster, Mr. Coon, and Mittens Vallo

Okay, in my usual off-beat kind of way here's what I'm trying to say...

I don't think the goose is the problem. We just aren’t comfortable with allowing nature to "be." As a resident of EARTH, I would have preferred we leave Ms. Goose alone. How about we raise more mindful kids and stop treating her like an exhibit in the zoo? Before writing more "Goose Policy" let's turn the binoculars around and see maybe it's a goose with a people problem!

One Earth One Chance! (I just read that off the recycle bin out my window...)

Happy Monday,

Amanda

a little disability vigilante justice

Good Morning,

Joe Montana, Bill Cosby, and Gen. Colin Powell...what do these people have in common?

All of these folks spoke at the GET MOTIVATED! seminar I went to last week at the Sprint Center (downtown KC).

Howard Putnam? anybody...anybody? a former CEO of Southwest Airlines was also there.

To recap, as some of you may know, I had an incident on a Southwest Airlines flight. I requested assistance with my wheelchair so I could make a tight connection. The flight attendant ignored my request in favor of learning more about my neighbor's Kindle (electronic book). I missed my flight. I and a few friends (...and my mother) wrote Southwest letting them know of our disappointment with the poor service I'd received. Over a month had passed still no word...

So, an eye for an eye? Time for a little disability vigilante justice!!!...

As I perused my GET MOTIVATED workbook, I came across his (Mr. Putnam’s) name in the list of speakers I thought, since I had my daily business so interrupted with neglect and rudeness how would he like it if I came into his world and interrupted him?

In a stadium filled with 20,000 people, the lights went down and the spot light came on. Howard took the stage and shook a jubilant fist "Details, we did it by never losing sight of the details!" I doodled in my workbook...

a lone voice way off in the nose bleed seats (with companion seating available) cries out

"Hey Howard!" flight #24 I'd come say hello but I still need my wheelchair!"

or or

a lone wheeler moves from gate to gate

Hey Howard you can locate me at gate 127!!! (subject to change)...oops wait a minute now I'm at gate 126...

okay i'd probably just keep it simple.

booooo KIIIINDLE!!!!

This morning I have much happier news to report. I've heard back from SWA headquarters! In sum, there's a deep apology and a promised voucher toward another flight. I've posted the reply to read it in its entirety.

http://www.facebook.com/notes/amanda-vallo/southwest-airlines-response-to-my-inquiry/10150216436424879

I am very appreciative of the actions they’ve taken.

Six weeks earlier through a simple human interaction I felt reduced to the size of an airline peanut. Today with this response...I’m encouraged and grateful to those joining me in the fight. Don’t be afraid to get on your horse for a little disability vigilante justice!

Happy Monday,

Amanda

p.s. The seminar itself is a whole 'nother story. I wouldn't recommend it. Not even if it's free. It's like a quasi Republican convention with special guests (aka nauseating sales gurus).