a goose with a people problem

Good Morning,

As I made my way into the mail hut last week, a notice posted on the mail room door caught my attention. In large bold letters--GOOSE UPDATE!!!

In sum, it read...

Dear Residents,

In April, a goose took up residence and laid a clutch of eggs in one of the plant beds surrounding the pool. One month later. No geeselings. The Kansas Department of Wildlife ascertained the goose was sitting on a nest of inviable eggs. The goose continued sitting upon the eggs. This week the Kansas Wildlife came and took the goose to another location where she is now able to meet other goose friends!!!!

As the door slammed behind me, the take home message sank in. We now have a "Goose Policy?" (what the frick?)

Given my recent success in letter writing and new found provisional licensure status I'm lobbying to see if I can get an inclusion in this new "Goose Policy." As per this date, new policy for Deer Creek management and staff would require contacting the on-site "Goose Grief Consultant." In this new role, I have been in contact with the geese and other animals on the property and helped them craft a letter.

June 13, 2011

Attn: Deer Creek Management

We the geese flock are writing with regards to the handling of an important matter to the Deer Creek animal community. Ginny Goose our beloved sister, mother, and friend was relocated from her home for non-aggressive behavior unbefitting of a goose. We feel resident behavior contributed equally in this matter. The staffs constant checking as well as the pointing, monitoring and loud screaming of children would not allow us to send in on-site assistance to Ms. Goose in the form of natural supports. As the care in your "Goose Update" has shown, we know you can appreciate Ms. Goose's "odd" behavior as an issue of complicated grief. For as much as we have not pooped on the front lawn or any of the walkways leading up to the pool, we would have asked that you respect us in aiding Ginny in her process. It deeply saddens us to lose one of our own, and to be treated so poorly on a land we share. Please, please, please bring Ginny back.

As a matter of public record we are releasing this letter to Facebook and the Monday Morning News Blog. We've also formed a peaceful coalition with a band of foxes, raccoons, snapping turtles, and Deer Creek cats and dogs residents to develop a "People Policy" and will cc you on our recommendations. We ask that you post and distribute to all Deer Creek Residents.

Sincerely,

The Geese
Ruffy Rottweiler, Stanley & Myrtle Turtle, Buster, Mr. Coon, and Mittens Vallo

Okay, in my usual off-beat kind of way here's what I'm trying to say...

I don't think the goose is the problem. We just aren’t comfortable with allowing nature to "be." As a resident of EARTH, I would have preferred we leave Ms. Goose alone. How about we raise more mindful kids and stop treating her like an exhibit in the zoo? Before writing more "Goose Policy" let's turn the binoculars around and see maybe it's a goose with a people problem!

One Earth One Chance! (I just read that off the recycle bin out my window...)

Happy Monday,

Amanda