bullies are no longer "in"

Good Morning,

It's President's Day!

I like to spend the day at home on my couch in my Cuddle wrap and top hat counting my Benjamins. i've been saving up you see to buy myself a helper monkey.

no really, you may think this sounds extreme but i think this is what some people must think when they look at me. I had a very alarming moment this weekend when I pulled up to my apartment after being at the laundromat.

it was late. dark. about 7:30pm when a gray/silver BMW wagon pulled up in the spot next to me. I was listening to my iPod and being mindful of (i.e. wrestling with) my laundry. i use a little white wheelie cart, the kind you perhaps see homeless people use, to facilitate the trip up the concrete sidewalk and into my apartment. This is not my favorite task but I've grown to appreciate it like a trail hiker who enjoys the familiar challenges of a well worn path.

I was enjoying the crisp cool...not COLD... pleasures of a winter evening. the stars...the full moon, the sting of a deep breath opening the lungs...when the night silence was so harshly pierced with the LOUD chattering of voices. My upstairs neighbor and her companion friend were stepping out of their car.

The short one, my neighbor held a crook-handled cane and seemed surprised to see me.

"Oh" she startled as she slammed her car door. "Can I help you?"

I smiled. Partly because I like my neighbor and partly out of habit...

Her eyes were wide. Her gaze darting and unsteady. There was the unmistakable smell of restaurant leftovers drifting out the Styrofoam box in her hand... and a hint of vinyl booth seat still clinging to her skinny jeans.

I hesitated feeling a little tight and tired from all the days efforts.

"okay, i guess i could use a little help."

we stood trying to make that awkward conversation that passes between neighbors who've never officially met. The world felt new, eerie kind of different and good as the willingness of two opposing personalities began to mesh...

"Hey look! LOOK!" My neighbor's companion had wandered up the walk and positioned herself atop a step. She pointed IT"S TWO GIMPS! You guys are the two gimps living here in the same building!

What kind of person says this? calling a person who does not walk fluidly "a gimp" i think is the social equivalent of pooping in public and calling your neighbor in to look at it.

intellectually i understood this but in my core...

my 30lbs. laundry bag suddenly became light as air as i sunk into the dirt. i grasped the nylon cord and cinched it tight. there's no way you're getting to carry my bag in lady!

the lady jammed her hands in her pockets and jumped down from the step. "I'm Dawn. This is Fona she has social anxiety but she lives above you so you should say hi to her."

i looked to my neighbor. she nodded vigorously in support. she giggled back "mother f--ker what you sayin?"

"oh. that's hard," i said. "i'm sorry."

Dawn walked over and playfully pushed my neighbor in the shoulder. She turned to me.

"Give me that bag. Now I'm going to help you!"

"oh no," I flitted and fluttered my hands. it's really not that heavy. i got it."

She grabbed my bag and hoisted it over her shoulder. (i have a general rule in life. never mess with someone in a leather jacket who may have been drinking).

i just stood very unBuddha like and smiled a little to myself when I thought I saw her back buckle a little.

"OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN HERE?"

"laundry." (and a dead horse)

Maybe it was because she'd been drinking, maybe it was because she had very squinty pale blue eyes she couldn't open very big, maybe it's because her stylist has used the wrong kind of relaxer on her curly mess of hair...

but i could not hate her. just felt certain that there needs to be a little more education in this world.

my point?

so maybe on this day i could ask people to reflect on what it means to be a good samaritan. generally, this means Ask first, Listen for a response, Reflect for a moment, then Act. (use the AFLFARRFAMTA acronym it's really that simple). or i will ask on this day everyone remember bullying is no longer "in" try to model yourself after the spirit of the new administration...Change Can Happen! : )

Happy Monday,

Amanda