Miami Heat scouting report

Good Morning,

The saying is "old news is no news" but I don't think it counts during the lazy hazy days of summer. There's a particular heat that's caught my attention over the past couple weeks and won't go away. The Miami Heat! Ever since LeBron James announced his DECISION

I've been wondering about this man...

Dexter Pittman. Dexter Pittman is the big man you heard gulp when LeBron announced "I'm taking my talents to South Beach." The implication here was that LeBron aka King James would be joining up with D. (Dwayne) Wade and Chris Bosh to form the most dominating assembly of power and skills the NBA has ever seen.

Only there was only one problem with the signing of LeBron, the Miami Heat roster consisted of roughly 5 players (...a typical NBA roster is 15). At the very moment of the King's announcement, a night before he promised six championships to an arena full of screaming fans...the starting five looked and sounded like this

INTRODUCING...MIAMI THRICE...YOUR THREE KINGS!!!

SUPERSTAR LE BRON JAMES
SUPERSTAR DWAYNE WADE
SUPERSTAR CHRIS BOSH

SOLID contributor and asset Mario Chalmers!!!

...and at center? the rookie...Dexter Pittman who did good in college.

that's some pressure. i liken it to

what if the other MJ (Michael Jackson!) had turned to his back up dancer during the middle of Billy Jean and said "okay get up here with me we're gonna do the moonwalk..."

After The DECISION, the sports media immediately broke down the unfilled roster problem offering this bit of insight

"now all the Miami Heat need are shooters and big men..."

Isn't this the definition of ANY professional basketball player?

anyway...there are more players on the Heat roster now. many of whom most folks probably have never heard of

Yakhouba Diawara, Shavik Randolph?

In a free agent frenzy, the teams general manager and president Pat Riley is shoring up the final spots on the 15 man roster. With the starters in place now, the key is finding the right guy or two who can help build team chemistry.

I have been on the horn all morning working the deals...here's who I have so far on the board. i'll be ready when "Coach Slick" (Pat Riley) calls for my suggestions


Jimmy Chitwood- from the movie Hoosiers. notable in the scene where he sank like 84 shots in a row while the camera was rolling. he's a shooter. he's the quiet type who won't need to share the spotlight. as illustrated in his total of four spoken lines

"i figure it's about time I start playing ball again."
"if coach stays i stay. if coach goes i go."
and...in the big game "I'll make it."

Greg Brady (BMOC) he's a big man...Big man on campus
he's best in the one-on-one game. he likes to back in against smaller opponents (Pete, Bobby, Cousin Oliver) and work the fiberglass. great hustle but some question his ability to handle off the court distractions like groovy chicks.

(scroll to 4:15)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp8p11YbGW4&feature=related

Air Bud. He's a shooter. although he's rumored to have some legal troubles, a great teammate who could also provide some quiet leadership to the locker room.



Michael J. Fox (Teen Wolf)- some question his maturity if he has what it takes to play at the next level but no denying he has freakish talent and tremendous upside. measured at a 108in. vertical leap. throws down with authority.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30sYk9B4OqU&feature=related

Theo Huxtable (Cosby Show)
although has never used a regulation height basket...great attitude, great hustler. knows how to play second banana to a BIG star. knows his job and thrives as a role player.




Enrique Iglesias & Anna Kornakova (suggested mid season acquisitions)
They are big fans and supporters. great for mop up time when you have wrapped up the division and are shutting it down til the playoffs. they can get the party started early before sending the crowd off to South Beach.

The Williams Sisters. Serena and Venus are part owners of the Miami Dolphins they will build off of the popularity of the NFL and provide valuable cross-promotional efforts. In particular, Venus is thought to have special sway in LeBron's game. At a speaking engagement to promote her new book Venus said she would woo him to Miami with a slide show



"I'm from Florida, so Miami certainly is the best place," Williams said. "I actually have a slide show prepared, if he wants to watch, on why." Venus also later said "LeBron James would look good in a Miami Heat uniform." the very next day? he announced his decision to join the Heat...

Gloria Estefan- who does NOT want Gloria Estefan on their team? she speaks to the large Latina/o fan base and can backup the Stars Spangled Banner singer in a pinch.



Alright, that's all I have for now. Keeping it cool in Kansas. Hope you are staying cool where you are.

Happy Monday,

Amanda

it's never too late for a soccer date...

Good Morning,

I hope you had a wonderful 4th. I of course celebrated by watching Valentine's Day (a romantic-comedy movie)...like a all good Americans I am as confused about my holidays as I am about my sports...

soccer is futbol
football actually has very little to do with kicking...

There are two important soccer (i.e. futbol) matches in South Africa today and tomorrow. In this vein, I thought I would continue with some tutelage for those who have expressed interest in understanding the game so they might relate better to a sporty mate.

It's Never too Late to have a Soccer Date 101

Off-sides. This is usually what all the yelling and finger pointing is about...
It is a penalty call indicating the offense has had an unfair advantage.

When the offensive player positions themselves behind the last defender so there is no one between them and the goalie before the ball is passed...He (or she) is OFF-SIDES!!! The voracity of the yelling you hear coming out of your soccer person is because it's all about timing. To engage him or her in dialog at this moment you might try turning and saying "yes, dear we really need to look at when the ball was passed" or you might try nodding in agreement "yes, that was a highly subjective call." No worries ESPN/ABC will provide replay graphics with enhancements to help settle things.

Flopping. Gives soccer a bad wrap. It is why you might have heard soccer called a "sissy sport." Often players will fake phantom injuries to draw the refs attention and hopefully a penalty on the other team. Typically, flopping is seen at the highest levels of competition where it is considered poor sportsmanship to be expected. To everyone else it’s still confusing...

This is why I have uncovered a little piece of audio.

http://vimeo.com/13128863

I've boiled it down to one simple rule you can share in these moments with your soccer person.

"yes, dear that's bad acting. i believe if you get hit in the stomach hold your stomach. if you get hit in the face, hold your face."

or...if this is all too much try making up your own rule. the "Kaka rule"

just throw up your hands and say this's absolutely ridiculous Kaka!"

alright. have fun. let the games begin!

Have a Terrific Tuesday,

Amanda