Situation: I was stepping outside of my apartment to read and take in the beautiful Spring day. My upstairs neighbors (Dan and Emi) are a young couple from Me: help, help! I’m stuck up here on this big cement slab.
Grand Nanny: I will help you. I will hoist you on my shoulder and then stick you here in the grass.
Me: No thank you. My legs are shaky…(ahhhh…)
Baby: ahhh…gibberish, gibberish
Grand Nanny: sorry I don’t speak English
Me: No worries. I don’t speak Romanian.
In unison: Let’s smile at each other.
II. later...a request from a disabled woman
Me: hey you, get over here.
Grand Nanny: me?
Me: bring me my birdfeeder!
Me: ah yes, empty it. clean it. get all that dirt out with your bare hands.
Me: Does Dan have birdseed for me upstairs?
Me: He does? Go get it. no wait don’t get it. get it. no don’t.
Grand Nanny: I am so confused.
Me: me too
III. the situation as I imagined it observed by Emi and Dan from a second story window.
Emi: why is my baby alone in her stroller?
Emi: oh, there’s my dad.
Dan: yes, helping Amanda. I like Amanda but she is too needy.
Emi and Grand Nanny: (a shared look in Romanian)
Emi: Dan do we have any birdseed for Amanda?
Dan: No, she’s not getting my birdseed.
IV. (outside) a conversation based in reality…sort of
Grand Nanny: Do you know
Me: yes!
Grand Nanny:
In unison: confusion. Shit. Shit. Baby: ga ga squishy (she shit)
(uncomfortably long pause)
Me: I like Emi and Dan. Do you like my birdfeeder?
Grand Nanny: birds? this?
Baby: clinky clinky shiny
Me: Put it on the grill. On that shelf next to the tongs.
Me: Now move my chair! or I will melt in the sun!
Me: Bring me my birdseed!
Baby: ewww! stinky no no stinky!
Grand Nanny: Bye bye friend. We must go, The baby is hungry.
Me: Okay bye. I must go inside too. I make crafts.
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