Spring Fashion Tips

Good Morning,

When "we" (i.e., I) last left my formal dress wearing experience, moments before I was to lead the parade as a bridesmaid, I discovered the padded breast cups had been sewn inverted and on the outside of my taffeta top. Disaster was narrowly avoided as a tipsy maid of honor performed a padectomy (me in the shell) with a pair of toenail clippers.

More recently, I was awarded a hamburger for my volunteering efforts with Miss Evan’s 2^nd grade class. Along with the Principal's Pride certificate for a free trip to McDonald's, I received this life-like rendition of me (see attached). This is what I wear when I’m tutoring the kids. I like it because it's not restrictive in the armpits and I get to wear my shell belt.

All of which I think qualifies me to provide you with some "Spring Fashion Tips" (...based on my morning TV show viewing).

Textured tights. You should never wear them. Substitute fleece sweatpants that have pilled. Fringed cowboy chaps will also do.

Add a handbag for a pop of color. OR leave your handbag in various restaurant booths, bathrooms, movie theaters, etc... for a pop of color.

Go ahead and wear white... but not with your day of the week underpants (look there’s stinky Cheryl again wearin’ Monday on a Friday?)

Wear short crop jackets over horizontal striped jersey T's to draw attention to the vertical line and away from an expanding middle.

Fool everyone. Dress in dizzying diagonals!

Shopping on a budget?

Get some t-shirt paints and write new messages on your message t-shirts.

Life is Good...or is it?

French Horn Playa loves a

Tuba Playin Freak

Trumpet Playin Freak

Sax Playa

So clever even I don’t get me…or do I?

I like to do my shoppin from home.

Since I've been receiving Spring catalogues since November...I'm finally ready to place my order(s).

Here are some questions I have or perhaps interesting observations for you to consider.

Who names the colors and do they just pick whatever they happen to be eating? Butter, cream, lemon, …

somehow getting dressed I suddenly have the urge to make muffins.

Who determines which color’s are (men’s only) which ones (women’s only)?

I say if Paul wants to wear a pair of Purple Phlox "crocs" and Ann wants to order her clogs in Ash Bark, let them. Isn’t it rather rude to suggest on which side of the color wheel they belong?

I know you have questions too...and the answers are yes

Yes, kitty appliqué clothing is always in—just change the weight for Spring. Trade sweaters for blouses, sweatshirts for t-shirts.

and

Sensible layering—for example, wear your bikini on the outside of your clothes…this will just stretch out the pieces to accommodate and serve as a nice summer preview. (well looky here Betty you all can go on shopping without me. I still fit into last years suit!)

Happy Monday.

Amanda