grandpa's 90th

What does it mean to be 90 years old?

Today I am traveling home to find out. Sans another run in with the "po po" (look for me in the granny lane puttin the hammer down at 67mph) the family is getting together at the Versailles Inn to celebrate my grandpa's 90th birthday. Since I might not be back in time for the usual Monday morning post, i thought i'd share some of my thoughts today as i get ready to help celebrate this significant event...

Grandpa is "Morning Dad's" dad : )

This is how I expect my grandpa spends most of his days...

At 90 years old you

Get up. Write down a long list of things to worry about. Go to church. Run through the list then get out there into the life you have created to do some good...or you simply stay at home and find ways to help your wife.

My grandpa never ran for a political office, did not seek leadership roles in church, did not have a great deal of involvement in civic organizations...

He was not a super caregiver, the kind you would today call the stay at home Dad...

He did not present us with those ideals.

Instead, he held tight to a larger sense of self. he gave us identities that spoke of vision and purpose…WWII soldier who fought for his country, the boy of meager means who became President of the bank.

he gave us an ideal of love that can be succinctly stated

"You don’t have to search for perfection in a partner when you know you’re already holding a rose."

you might say that my grandpa was consumed by the role of "steady provider." i like to say what better thing to be than gentle and kind and in love with your wife?

indeed his life will be most defined by the relationship he has with my grandma.

there's still a twinkle in his eye when he remembers their first date and the story of their courtship.

there's still a touch of dry wit and humor to his voice when he encourages us not to do the math between the date of my father’s birth and the date of their wedding.

today i am lucky to see the way he smiles at her and points at family gatherings “isn’t she something?"

i'm lucky to hear a 90 year old man playfully call an 88year old woman “girly.”

he always says “you’re something else girly” as he puts an arm around her shoulder and squeezes to get her to stop for a moment in the midst of clearing the dishes (yes, this could even happen today at a restaurant)

At what age do we begin to separate from the world? just a question i will be carrying around with me today. i play the role of honored family observer at
these events grandma finds me and plants me in a chair right next to her so i (she) can rest my (her) legs) : ).

so...i will push aside the meat and enjoy the potatoes and ask...

Things that were new to him…

the two car garage
computers
Taco Bell

Things that he’s seen…

too many to list.

Finally, the biggest lesson he's ever tried to teach me (I am a stubborn audience)

There's a little blue booklet on ACCEPTANCE he gave me once. he picked it up at a church when he'd been hospitalized for “nerves” (depression). The Doctor told him he was free to come and go as he pleased. My grandpa did not go to the bar. He turned
a different direction than his alcoholic father had. He went to church and says in these words found the guiding principle for his life ACCEPTANCE…

I've never met this God or Jesus that seems to talk to white men

(When white men fall it seems he lands cradled in a net. Everyone else goes SPLAT!)

but i was listening that day

I see in this the Buddhist teaching of letting go…we suffer because we cling to objects, things, money, relationships, and to the idea of this thing we call the SELF.

Only through letting go of this attachment do we the ultimate happiness called peace

the practical application of this lesson?

yeah, um i'm still working on that...huh, i guess i just want to squeeze someone and call them girly : ).

anyway, uh, thank you for your time and reading my disjointed thoughts.

happy weekend. i love my grandpa!

Amanda

good things about the body or chair dancing : )

Good Morning,

I was feeling a little low this weekend so i clicked up a good tune on my ipod...Madonna, JT, and i had only "4 Minutes" to save the world and we would do it with dance! After about 30 seconds, i caught a glimpse of my moves in the mirror and had a most unfavorable realization...

my moooves have gotten stale!...major crisis in the life of the dedicated dancer : )

so, i had to sit down and make a list.

10 good things my body has done or still does for me.

-90% of the time it gets me to the restroom

-my back, knees, hip, and foot have not fallen off yet

-it kept my heart beating throughout trauma

-it has allowed me to express some very important parts of myself, competitor, skilled expert, creator, leisurite

-it has alerted me to problems or kept me out of trouble

-it gave me good warm fuzzy feelings...i've been tickled by grandpa, hugged by dad, i've been able to capture and feel the electric tingle of a summer storm.

YES, i'm glad i have a body! (no matter shape, size, form, or ability : )

Glad I have a body to feel the weight of the covers made light knowing the love of your cat

Glad I have a body to catch the playfulness of a tickle

Glad I have a body to be a shelter in which to read a good book

Glad I have a body that screams bloody murder in a dress

BUT most important i'm glad i have a body that will at least always be able to chair dance!

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/watchandlisten/play/a5b7c337

(oh boy)

Happy Monday.

Amanda
still 1st chair in the dance department
*call 1-800-FOR-DANZ for all challenge inquiries

turn em' kine

What would make a straight girl I’ve just met say “I think I’m in love with you?”

I just explained something I'm working on to my engaged co-worker.

For the first time ever i felt my face fade and shift into the Shane face…huh, wuh? I coolly turned to my computer. "I just really want this to work for you."

i'm not as savvy and experienced in the world of sexual matters as Jackie Warner.

i do not walk into a room and present with an "aura of fearlessness and confidence." (Jackie W.) Quite the opposite. I walk into a room checking for hand holds and any obstacles that might be in my path. What I do think gets noticed is the deeper strength and conviction of someone who has struggled with a difficult past and come out of it okay.

The turn em kine potential that I have is written in the lines of concern on my face.

I think in looks and mannerisms I invite interest from people both straight and gay (dyke, femme, bi, etc.) On their part, I think there is a genuine interest and curiosity that gets misrecognized perhaps as a sexual desire.

This in and of itself is not enough to turn the straight woman. The actual turning happens when she starts to realize how open I am and experiences that "feeling of safety" (Jackie W.) in all my responses--physically, verbally, emotionally I am consistent. At least I think the hidden aspect of it is the community acknowledgement and acceptance they get to feel when the threatening emotions occur “what is this? Can I be in this relationship?” It is my theory that in some subtle way the turned experiences the larger power that comes with something “hideous and unacceptable” (physical disabled body) being actually “something good and okay.” then something deep inside when they look at me says “yes.”

My other theory is that I’m just hot, charming, and a sexual bad ass! Hopefully one of those is true : )

Morning Dad

Good Morning,

I had a very adult weekend. I received my first speeding ticket, I traveled to Indianapolis to meet new friends, and I realized my parents have probably "done it" more than twice (brother, me).

Friday night I stayed at my dad’s as a midway point between Columbus and Indy.

Friday night is date night for Dad and Judy (his girlfriend)…

She drives up from her home in Centerville, parks her car in the garage and off they go…dinner, dancing or a concert someone read about in the GO section. (the GO section, the local newspaper entertainment section).

This weekend I stood and watched Dad flit around the kitchen in tippy-tap shoes (tip tap, tip tap, tip, tap) tidying and straightening in a mad rush. He was late in getting home from work and in only 10min. Judy would arrive!

Ding dong! She arrived 5min early!

So I dumped my load of dirty laundry on the floor and said “I’ll get it!”

Dad quickstepped his way to the bathroom.

Judy received a smiley welcome as I stumbled a little and banged into the glass door.

She was just looking so cute in her white and pink stripped sweater top and complimenting fitted white jacket, I had to hug her in my grubby possibly smelly Auburn sweatshirt.

…then I sent the kids off on their date.

In preparation for the early morning drive to Indy, I called it an early night.

I left a note out for Dad, "I don’t have an alarm could you please wake me up at 6am?...

Thank you.

Love,

Amanda

I drifted off to sleep with a comfort and peace I hadn’t felt in awhile.

I woke up around midnight. As I made my way in the dark toward the restroom, I heard the clinking of glasses and laughter amidst playful conversation in the dimmer switched living room…

How nice I thought they’re keeping it down for me. Muddle brained I returned to bed and fell into the deep dark disoriented sleep you can only get when sleeping in your childhood bedroom.

(my room has been left mostly untouched since high school except it now houses all dad’s books, i like the clean feel to it. i dislike the feel I get when I see highlighter stains on the comforter/bedspread).

I awoke at 6am with someone gently poking me through a mess of covers in the lower back. i guess Dad has since my last visit forgotten how to wake his daughter. He forgot that using words is a common waking method. There was just someone roughly outlined in the dark poking me in the lower back.

"okay, thank you. i'm up."

In about an hour, i was ready to leave.

"Morning Dad" stood and watched as i readied my bag for my day-trip. he asked dad questions,

"what are you doing again?"

Try explaining at 7am, a podcast and the community of friends built through the Internet to a man with a dial-up connection and Wal-Mart e-mail account.

"I'm going to meet some very good and interesting people i met through the Internet."

He looked confused and might have said something but all i could hear, think or see was how much i love "Morning Dad."

Dad wears tippy-tap shoes, crease-lined tan slacks, and collared shirts tucked and pressed...

Morning Dad has...hair stuck to his head, a sprout or two doin the rooster at the cowlick, long, baggy pj bottoms, and the UA (under armor) T.O. shirt...

i looked down as i readied my pack and grabbed my cane. "Hey dad, look Judy forgot her shoes."

"She’s still here…"

on my behalf 1. she did not arrive at the door with her little knapsack 2. it was very early, 3. everybody goes a foul of the law sometime. i bet she drives barefoot!

Our eyes met.

We both looked at each other each embarking on our new adventures.

There was a searching look, smiles, and a nod of recognition.

Another moment passed and we understood each other perfectly.

okay yeah, we don't want to know...


Happy Monday,

Amanda
bad citizen, clocked at 67mph in the 55

serious health or fashion risks

Good Morning,

Recently, I sat listening to my Buddha teacher Gil as he taught a meditation class to a room full of people new to meditation. He started fielding questions from the beginners when...

One woman with an edge to her voice said, basically, hey you little weasel why don’t you grow a pair and come down off your little Zen cushion! If you’re offering yourself as an expert in this meditation business, why don’t you give us something we can use like YOUR story!

He had one minute left in the class to tell her his story and the lessons he's learned in his 30 year history with Vipassana & Zen Buddhism.

He then pulled out the most masterful tool in the master teacher's toolbelt...he turned it back to her!

(oh this should be good)

If I may, can I show you how this works? He said...

"I'd like to, if i may, turn it around a bit and the question here might be to ask yourself what inside you makes it so you feel [right now] you need to ask this question?"

She was livid. Above the murmur you could hear the barely restrained anger in her voice…"SEE YOU AREN’T EVEN ANSWERING MY QUESTION!

Your avoidance proves to me your ignorance on this topic!"

waoh...when i asked Gil what this was all about!???? what do i do if someone ever attacks my credibility like that?...he told me i should breathe...

i don't think he's ever wanted to be a personal trainer.

I did not write "The Book on Personal Training" but I am reading it. i have a goal to become certified as a personal trainer putting my years of dedication and practice to a better use.

Not surprisingly i'm finding "The Book" was not written for scholars. After you get through the basic building block chapters (muscle anatomy and physiology) the rest is pretty much common sense.

"The Book on Personal Training" says it's important to identify and stratify potential clients. says it's good for business.

I've been lookin around...i say that's a bit harsh. most people walk through the gym doors a little self-conscious about the "junk in the trunk" already. they don't need trainer's walking around with the FAT stamp or VERY OBESE!!!

okay, anyway here's my list of potential clients so far. i've chosen to classify based on serious health or fashion risks...(and to practice what i might say : )

client 1- the guy who keeps giving himself a wedgie

solution: it's important not to have the fitness short stuck in the butt. Consider switching from cotton (which might cause chaffing) to a lycra-cotton blend. this will be more slippery and hopefully not get stuck as bad. you might also consider wearing underwear.

client 2-anyone wandering aimlessly in black socks and white tennis shoes

solution: Make sure the color of your socks does not match the color of your fanny packs or lifting gloves. Lifting gloves come most often in black, i've also seen them in blue, green, red and on occasion pink (...with socks to match). let's avoid this.

client 3: Dear elderly Asian man...

Long sleeve button up shirts and sweats pants is an okay look for the hospital but perhaps a little too formal for the gym

solution: Along with any medications you are taking please bring your fitness clothes to your first meeting with the trainer. set goals to determine when you should be wearing them.

client 4 Fabulous and 40’s –women in tight fitting leotards…you are liberated and happy with yourselves or just do not care...fabulous

solution: Along with any medications you are taking please bring your fitness clothes to your first meeting with the trainer. set goals to determine when you should be wearing them.

client 5: Misfit people like me...e.g., always wearing the same old sweatshirt

solution: patience. Auburn sweatshirts are always okay to wear.

sorry so long and rambling today.

Happy Monday

Amanda