Good Morning,
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, I think it would be that we are entering the season of impossible gift giving. Memorial Day (minus its heartfelt significance) marks the arrival of the hapless gift giving Triumvirate: graduations, weddings, and Father’s Day... : (
so...
Last week I had a few survival tips to offer for your next formal occasion. This week I'd like to continue in this vein and offer some helpful gift giving guidance for formal occasions I've gathered from the Buddha.
I will then run my next gift "a toaster" through the criteria.
According to Buddha Teacher Gil & friends, giving a toaster falls under the realm of Generosity. The Buddha taught that "to be generous" is not simply to give money or material objects rather it is an act of will that includes sharing one's help, knowledge, forgiveness, and/or most importantly choosing to give the gift of one's meditation practice. (i personally think this one's kinda hokey but i like what it does for the pocket book).
Further, he taught that giving is a mutually formed relationship. It consists of the donor and the recipient. Within this relationship certain scripts have been formed that shape how the giving will occur. For example, if you give to a priest you are not likely to reach for the Hooters gift card. What will emerge if done correctly from your giving act is the enhancement of three qualities- trust, inspiration, and a greater sense of freedom.
In order to help us enhance this inner wealth, the Buddha gave us guidelines for gift giving...which I will not give to you at this time because I cannot remember them. Condensed into one thought they provide us the adage:
Seek and ye shall find! oops, no that's not it...Don't judge a book by its cover... noooo....
here it is! (i have been taking copious notes).
"the golden gift giving rule" give where you feel inspired to give.
There are also virtuous duties and responsibilities of the recipient like...
do not pressure, scheme or belittle the donor
show appreciation
use the gift in an upright way...
which hardly seem relevant to the act of giving a toaster : ).
okay, DINGGGGGgggggggggggggg
Time for the thought experiment.
Gift: a toaster
Occasion: a wedding
Giver: me
Recipient: Dad & Judy
Question: Is my toaster a fruitful gift?
Experiment: criteria for the Fruitful Giver:
Before giving you are glad. NO
While giving you are inspired. NO
After giving you feel gratification. MAYBE if i get to use it!
...and duties/responsibilities for the Recipient
Be free of passion. ?
Be free of aversion. ??
Be free of delusion. ?
*they're getting married so i suppose they're working on it.
Conclusion: I have not met the criteria therefore I am unable to give a material object at this time. Please accept my timely meditation.
Love,
Your Daughter,
Amanda
Happy Memorial Monday!
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